So I was taken advantage the other night and today is the first day I feel better. I was on this abstaining site and had mentioned about my dysphoria and so than that's when I got the question of what is dysphoria. I figured oh so someone cares. So I spoke to her and she asked if I message so I said yes so she asked for my number so I gave it to her so she messaged me.

She started to tell me she was a model and cared about me and all this. She said she liked me a few times. I found this weird. She acted at first like she was just curious about my depression with dysphoria. So things with her started to get heavily sexual and ya she played on my dysphoria. Anything male in me came out and ya things got really dirty. She sent me some pictures and they weren't nudes but they were provocative. She could of cared less about my dysphoria and me abstaining. She basically wanted sex.

She told me how she wanted to meet with me one day. The whole asl age/sex/location thing came up but that as much info she got till I realized not to say anything. Things sexually went pretty far and after I was in so many problems. I blocked her and deleted my profile and posts on the abstaining site and blocked her on there before deleting my profile.

I at first felt violated, degraded and worried about if I were safe. This all happened monday.

I however just got a text from her and Im def not responding.

The web isn't a healthy place and you should be careful on it. Even on this site, we attempt to keep people who might harm our members off but their are ways they can evade us if they are determined. This is why we request you report issues to us even if they are in PM so we can eliminate problem members before they harm others. Off this site, you need to exercise additional caution because currently your in a fragile emotional state. If you have a therapist, I suggest you discuss this. The future is bright because as you proceed through your transition, you will become emotionally stronger and will be able handle problems like this better but for now, take care.

Reading this reminds me of when that sort of thing happened to me a few years ago, and to this day I feel awful that to some degree it still rules over me.

She was someone I trusted, we did like each other and it went on for a few weeks between us, but then one day she started blackmailing me with her own safety (she was deeply into magic and curses and things, she knows I don't believe a thing in them) if I didn't do "said sexual thing" in front of her. The first time, I was a bit more naive and thought she'd really be in danger, so I did. As you say, it feels violating and incredibly degrading.

But, I'm slowly gaining control over it, time has made the majority of it fade. It largely affected my trust and made me wary of getting as close as i wanted to my girlfriend, and to be fair I cried as I told her what had happened all that time ago, because I felt like everything had been taken away from me in that instance.

My point is, it takes time, and even though it's hard, getting it out of your head by writing it down is sometimes the better way to start gaining control over it.

Part of me wants to reply back and say something like "lets cut the crap, who are you?" or something like "hey if you really liked me, you wouldn't of played and degraded me like this so if you really want to talk, cut the sex stuff and be honest with me.".

I'm not responding to her however and yes I'm going to talk to my therapist about it. I feel better about things each day and just with time hoping she either disappears or shows who she really is. Her texts I can't get blocked for some reason but I'm told that I am safe. I just have to see her write to me but that's okay. I wonder if she writes me something normal. Would be curious what she had to say.

I called a hotline number tonight and was told to def talk to my therapist and I asked her how long these feelings go on for. She told me they will go in time and are not permanent. I know Im feeling better everyday more and more. Im well aware that the girl on the phone the other night texting is to me a predator or something like that.

It just makes me angry how horrible some people are to others.

This is awful to hear. Make sure to be careful with who you talk to and not to give away too much information before getting to know someone, regardless of if you want to lust after them / have them lust after you or not. It's not your fault, of course! Just block her as much as you can and try to forget about it if it really bothers you. I wish you the best of luck in getting away from her and with your transition!

So sorry Larissa. I hope you will be OK soon again.

This is a very good reminder for all of us to be very careful.

Not sure how easy it would be for you to get a new phone number if you can't block her and her texts permanently. They will be a permanent reminder.

If you fell really threatened (and even if it is only mentally) you can call your phone provider / police for help too. A few years ago when I was working in IT security, I was asked by corporate HR to track down a person harrasing an employee via text messages. Took about one hour to figure out, the messages came from a free text message service and had been sent from the same building. Another two hours and the coworker sending these harassing texts was walked out of the building since we have been able to track him down. In most cases it is possible to track down an electronic predator.

I hope your Therapist can help you get back on your feet!

Thanks! Ya Ive been told I could get a new number but than I have to go through and make sure everyone knows what my new number is.

She has not contacted me since Wednesday night. and before that it was Tuesday morning. Her messages to me since the whole thing Monday night however have been very normal. Not threatening or anything like do this to me so I dont know. Makes me wonder if shes really that dangerous or harmless and just a heavily sexual kinda girl. She sent me Tuesday morning that "sorry I fell asleep" and than Wednesday night it was a simple hi is all. I do not know.

Im not sure what to think about this all and if when she said she liked me if she meant it or if it was a game she was playing. I just dont know. Im just staying quiet.

Hi Larissa. Maybe you just overreacted to blunt sexual advances? Maybe not. My rule of thumb is never meet people I don't know personally before in my house (and I did it a few times, and it was ok, but one of my guests (mtf bisexual crossdresser) came to my house carrying concealed carry handgun (which wasn't illegal in our state) and she was more afraid of who would meet her and immediately at ease seeing me) - yet, if you don't want a stranger coming to your house with a concealed handgun in her/his pocket and shaking hands, why not  invite a visitor to a neighboring LGBT-friendly bar or a cafe or any other public place first, from where if you're still interested, you might proceed to your or her home, or if not - you just can promise to call later?


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I did ask her to send me a picture of herself holding a picture saying "Im ashley" and have her face in it plus one of her modeling pics too. She replied acting like she was hurt that I had not replied back.

I wanted to see her reaction to see if she is a scammer like a few people said they think she is. If she sent the pictures, it would be a start to proving me wrong but she did not. This tells me that she might be a scammer.

I also wanted those pics to see if they match up and that so I can put them in google and see if they line up right.

I want to investigate this a bit but Im being extremely cautious and NO more info for her than my asl. If she is a scammer, well her whole scam has been thrown off badly which is good.

Quote from: Larisa1983 on July 22, 2017, 10:26:29 AM
I did ask her to send me a picture of herself holding a picture saying "Im ashley" and have her face in it plus one of her modeling pics too. She replied acting like she was hurt that I had not replied back.

I wanted to see her reaction to see if she is a scammer like a few people said they think she is. If she sent the pictures, it would be a start to proving me wrong but she did not. This tells me that she might be a scammer.

I also wanted those pics to see if they match up and that so I can put them in google and see if they line up right.

I want to investigate this a bit but Im being extremely cautious and NO more info for her than my asl. If she is a scammer, well her whole scam has been thrown off badly which is good.

I would give a benefit of a doubt and offer her to meet on a neutral ground. But then again, if you aren't that interested in her, why bother?

Mostly why bother is I like to stop bad people from doing bad things. Chances are if she has tried to scam me and failed, she will move on to someone until she successfully does scam someone. That I would hate to see happen and if I can possibly stop that, should I not try. I hate to see good people have their lives ruined and see people be stolen from.

You cannot prevent a scammer unless you report her to the police, you cannot report her to police until some harm is done (and even then, police has better things to do, like catching murderers, robbers, etc). And you don't want to put yourself into a dangerous situation to let the scammer harm you. So, a word of wisdom - stay away.


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I know there are those of us that would like to try and save the world (actually part of the reason I became a Paramedic), but you can't. 

If you're not interested in her, tell her to "have a nice life" and move on.  Don't try to save her.  If she scammed you once, chances are she'll do it again.  Unless you are police and/or part of a sting operation, you're only looking to get hurt. 

She could also be a "trans ->-bleeped-<-," one of those women that "feel that pre-op trans women are safer than cis men," and/or think they can "save you and bring you back to being cis if only they had a good woman."  (I learned about this at my trans group.)

I second the "stay away" emotion.   Block her, change your number and move on with your life. 

Good luck.

Ryuichi

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