So I had my 2nd therapist session this week and I have to say that I am disappointed. I am not sure what I expected but after 2 sessions I don't feel like I've gained or learned anything new. I walked out of there feeling the same as I did going in. Am I expecting too much? Do I need to say something or is that rude?

Did you get any of this?

Red flags
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=162266.0

Every doctors office I walk into they ask me "What are your goals and expectations from this visit" or something along those lines. So what are you expecting out of the therapy? Have they asked you that?

Hugs, Devlyn

I went to therapy for years before I let the 800lb gorilla out of the room. If I had to do it over again I would have come clean the first time back in 1984. Last year I finally decided to be honest and not make excuses. I spoke of my lifetime of doubt and confusion. My inability to be "manly". The crossdressing that began at age seven. I didn't hold anything back. It didn't take Kristy much time to conclude what direction I should take, if it was what I wanted. That was almost a year ago. Funny how things work out as I always told my therapists I was under stress. I was  But since I came out and after 11 months on HRT, stress is no longer a problem. There is still a bit of uneasiness when revealing to another my situation, but I have decided not to dwell on it. Today for the first time in a long time I look forward to tomorrow.

What was your goal in going to the therapist?  Were you seeking help to decide whether or not you are trans?  Or do you already know and you wanted a referral letter?  Or were you seeking help to work through some problem?

The therapist is not there to "fix" you, so you won't necessarily come out feeling different.  Some sessions, particularly when seeking referral letters, are merely information exchange.  The therapist needs information from you in order to assess whether you are ready for HRT or surgery, and you need information from them about what the treatment will do for and to you.

Even though you don't need to have fixed expectations going in, you should be clear on the purpose of your visit.  If you feel you are not benefiting from the sessions, you should tell the therapist that so that they can adjust their approach.

Kathy, your wisdom is spot on. I do want to fix me and know that can't be done in 1 or 2 sessions. I have had this dark cloud of unhappiness for a while and want it gone.

I guess I expected to feel progress or start to have a better understanding of why it felt walking out that I didn't understand anything better or feel like there were steps to take towards finding solutions.

I've seen 2 therapists and a psych, and while they were all enormously helpful none of them "fixed" me.

What they did was help me understand myself and what I needed to do to make myself happy. It was me doing that thing that actually help. Just talking and not doing anything doesn't help at all.

When I started with therapy it was for one purpose, I needed help with unlearning a lifetime of unhealthy ways of dealing with being trans and help dealing with the tons of emotional baggage, especially my oldest and dearest friends, Shame & Guilt. The direct Trans and transitioning wasn't even on the agenda. After 2 utter fail transition experiments in my early life, any sort of transition was off the radar.

First sessions are generally "Getting to know you", medical history, psycho-social history/needs background stuff, generally one sided and touching on "Why are you here?". Second sessions more getting into the meat.

How the sessions actually go depends on your "Goals" (spoken and unspoken) and also depend on the therapist experience. My first therapist was a generalist, out in a rural area, whose major trans experience came via dealing with several of my support group members. A lot of his education on trans issues came via these same people. After several years there I got to move back to the NYC metro area where I had access to for real experienced gender therapists. There is a difference. I strongly suspect a trans gender therapist has to be even better. But then, there is also loosing the detached objectivity risk. My TG Support group is enough of a cheering squad with the many members answer to life is often "F what others think, do what you want" as the pathway to Nirvana.