I'm interviewing for a new job next week, and all the "experts" say be sharp and professional looking. I'm not disclosing my status as this job pays really well and is a traditional company. One of my favorite female attributes is my hair. It's very long, blonde and a little curly. It will take years to get it back if I cut it. So, should I chance the interview with my hair in a pony tail, or cut it to a typical male business cut. This is a good job and I live in small town redneck Florida, so I can't lose this opportunity and there will likely be zero compassion for my status. I can hide my breast growth with a sports bra, not worried about that. I need this job, I love my hair ... what would you do? *sighs*

You could try claiming it's a "man bun." I see lots of guys with one and I'm in Texas. You may be able to get away with it


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Quote from: Sinclair on July 25, 2017, 10:37:17 PM
I'm interviewing for a new job next week, and all the "experts" say be sharp and professional looking. I'm not disclosing my status as this job pays really well and is a traditional company. One of my favorite female attributes is my hair. It's very long, blonde and a little curly. It will take years to get it back if I cut it. So, should I chance the interview with my hair in a pony tail, or cut it to a typical male business cut. This is a good job and I live in small town redneck Florida, so I can't lose this opportunity and there will likely be zero compassion for my status. I can hide my breast growth with a sports bra, not worried about that. I need this job, I love my hair ... what would you do? *sighs*

You could also try talking to someone else who works there to get an idea of the company's policies and whatnot


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Is there any way you can get a look at what the employees at the company wear during normal business? Other than that, possibly a shorter medium length haircut that you can grow out much faster. It's possible you can interview with your current hair and if it's an issue, they will inform you of the dress code before you accept the position.

You're not guaranteed to get the job even if you do cut your hair. I expect you'd feel pretty bad if you cut it and didn't get the job.

It may be a good job, but...

Lets say you get a job at a company with conservative values.  You will be somewhat stuck with the short hair for as long as you have this job.  Maybe there is other opportunties out there that will allow you to have the longer hair.

You may think this is a short term solution, but 10 years from now, you may still be there.

Quote from: Dena on July 25, 2017, 10:46:43 PM
Is there any way you can get a look at what the employees at the company wear during normal business? Other than that, possibly a shorter medium length haircut that you can grow out much faster. It's possible you can interview with your current hair and if it's an issue, they will inform you of the dress code before you accept the position.

That's possible, to check out the employees ahead of the interview. Good suggestion. Also, go with the pony tail and state I will cut it if needed. The risk with that is first impressions always last. This is a problem for me. I do not want to give up my hair, but this is a great job. 

Thanks all for suggestions ...

*sighs* ... just it will take years to get my hair back if I cut it ... it's about 3/4 down my back.

Sinclair,

I have been in your position before as my hair was once down to my waist. For me personally, I would never have cut my hair for a job. There are just too many other jobs out there and if having longer hair is as important to your body image as it sounds you will never be happy wearing it shorter during your time at a job if you even do get it. I have turned down job offers when I was asked, "told", I would have to cut my hair by the person interviewing me. My hair has nothing to do with my job skills or ability to do my job and if some of my other co-workers can have their hair longer then so should I. Find a company that wants your skills and not someone that just looks a certain way unless you plan on being a fashion model. I hope you find a job that will not force you to give up a part of you that makes you feel like yourself. No job is worth the feeling you may have every time you see yourself in the mirror or catch your reflection in a window. Good luck and wish you the best.

Quote from: Ryanne on July 26, 2017, 01:09:19 AM
Sinclair,

I have been in your position before as my hair was once down to my waist. For me personally, I would never have cut my hair for a job. There are just too many other jobs out there and if having longer hair is as important to your body image as it sounds you will never be happy wearing it shorter during your time at a job if you even do get it. I have turned down job offers when I was asked, "told", I would have to cut my hair by the person interviewing me. My hair has nothing to do with my job skills or ability to do my job and if some of my other co-workers can have their hair longer then so should I. Find a company that wants your skills and not someone that just looks a certain way unless you plan on being a fashion model. I hope you find a job that will not force you to give up a part of you that makes you feel like yourself. No job is worth the feeling you may have every time you see yourself in the mirror or catch your reflection in a window. Good luck and wish you the best.

Ryanne captured my thoughts quite well.  Also It is worth considering your ultimate intention.  Do you plan on going full time sometime in the near or medium future?  What then?  Will the corporate culture support you, or is this job a way station on your journey?  BTW I'm jealous of your hair, just saying. 

Quote from: Sinclair on July 25, 2017, 10:37:17 PM
I'm interviewing for a new job next week, and all the "experts" say be sharp and professional looking. I'm not disclosing my status as this job pays really well and is a traditional company. One of my favorite female attributes is my hair. It's very long, blonde and a little curly. It will take years to get it back if I cut it. So, should I chance the interview with my hair in a pony tail, or cut it to a typical male business cut. This is a good job and I live in small town redneck Florida, so I can't lose this opportunity and there will likely be zero compassion for my status. I can hide my breast growth with a sports bra, not worried about that. I need this job, I love my hair ... what would you do? *sighs*

I would not. Chances are, you won't get the job even if you cut your hair. Chances are, you will get the job with the hair, based only on your professional qualifications. Be cool about it and own it. I've seen a burly guy wearing a skirt in a little Midwest town and no one would say anything to him because he was confident and strong.

But i'd take a little trim to make sure your long hair looks at its best

Although, I think 3/4th of the back length seems very impractical to me. I'd stick with slightly below shoulder length at most. This length is 'age appropriate' for any lady after 30s, yet could be styled in man's fashion without any criticism.


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DON'T cut your hair for some job you "might" get. Cutting long hair can be traumatic trust me. If I get a customer who wants to go from long to really short I try to talk them into doing it in stages instead of all at once. I've seen people totally cry over cutting long hair.  When I was 12 my dad buzzed my shoulder length hair and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. My dad didn't do it to be mean or to try to make me a boy. A couple of older boys had held me down and sprayed some kind of sealant all over my hair. By the time I got home it had dried and was like super glue. There was no way for me to get it out. Finally my dad had to cut it out. That left patches of hair about an inch long. It looked totally retarded so I told him to just buzz it all. I cried every time I looked in a mirror and I wore hats all the time. I was so upset my dad offered to buy me a wig. Don't underestimate the impact of cutting your hair can have on you. Yes hair grows back but it takes years. Like some people have said, there are other jobs.
Julia

I guess the question you have to ask yourself is do you define yourself by your identity or what you do 8 hours a day? Find a job opportunity that will accept YOU. Jobs come and go, you have to be you everyday and forever. Don't set yourself up for misery or worse, to fail.

I cut my hair to get a promotion before I was out.  My hair grows incredibly slowly.  9 months later I left that job and my hair is barely down to my shoulders.  I regret it.  I don't think it is wise to do so for a mere chance.

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I might add that very big salary doesn't necessarily make you happy with the job, and jobs with higher than average salary tend to be highly competitive. Even if they hire you now, they might lay you off in just 2-3 years for no other reason than they got a younger version of you willing to work longer hours for a little bit less. Been there (on both ends), done that.


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Only you can make the risk/value judgement, but i think if posed with the same conundrum, i would go for bun.

Early in my transition and pre-transition times i would still dress fairly androgynously on business trips and certain meetings. This included fairly homogenous business cultures such as China, Japan and Malaysia and i did not have any issues with presentation problems. I realize this is not the same as an interview.

Quote from: AnonyMs on July 25, 2017, 10:56:18 PM
You're not guaranteed to get the job even if you do cut your hair. I expect you'd feel pretty bad if you cut it and didn't get the job.

Honestly this. I'm HR so I can tell you both sides. As an applicant I would NEVER change my appearance drastically just for an interview, especially because since I'm HR I know that if I'm qualified and get the job, the HR person will likely tell me how to align to the company's image before I start (that's what I do to my candidates).

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on July 26, 2017, 05:08:08 PM
Honestly this. I'm HR so I can tell you both sides. As an applicant I would NEVER change my appearance drastically just for an interview, especially because since I'm HR I know that if I'm qualified and get the job, the HR person will likely tell me how to align to the company's image before I start (that's what I do to my candidates).

Thanks everyone for your advice. I can tell you that if I cut my hair to a men's business cut and didn't get the job I would be devastated. It would take at least 4-5 years to get it back. Appreciate the HR side above.

I think I could do a trim pulled back that I can make neat from the front, but keep some length, and hope for the best.

Interview is next week ...

Great decision and now that you've made it, i will add that you are doing something that is beneficial for all, in that by presenting with longer hair you are breaking at least by a little bit, arbitrary and unfair expectations of appearance.

I went to an interview myself today for a position I desire much. You know how you're supposed to be dressed up for an interview - black shoes, tie, suit... I happen to not feel comfortable in a suit any more (after losing some weight) and just worn a tie. Whether I would get an offer or not, remains unknown. But I was comfortable during the interview and hopefully it would help more than 'proper' attire


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