What does it mean to be a women?
The last few days I've been thinking harder on this subject more than I ever have before. In the past I've covered up, suppressed, and distracted myself from dwelling on these thoughts. I haven't got to go to counseling yet but can't stop thinking about what is going on with me. This was my question of the day. When I said it out loud to myself I realized I didn't know the answer. I know what society defines as a women. Comparing myself to what society classifies as a women I came up with this. Children, I don't have a desire to be a mother. A Career Women, I don't feel a drive to prove myself as a successful business women in society. A wife, I don't feel like a relationship of any sort will define me as a women. The list can go on and on. I feel the need to be soft, caring, allowed to let my feelings flow without feeling guilty.  I don't want to have to be the strong one all the time. I want to be week, dependent (not financially but emotionally). I want to be held, told everything will be ok. I want to be sexy, pretty, desired.
As a man I feel weight all the time. Like I'm holding up the world. Like I have to compete, be an alpha so I don't get eaten up. My friends/ acquaintances are all unaware of who I am and I know how strong they all feel about choices I may have to make. I will be on my own from the world I'm used to now. I know many will feel betrayed. I saw an interview with Mike Tyson once about why he fought like he did. He said it was fear, he was so afraid of being hurt, losing, just the other fighter itself that he basically went as hard and fast as he could.  I feel like that's been me trying to survive in man's world. (I'm tired) I am successful with my job. I made it to the mountain top, I've been where I'm at longer than anyone else that's here. I feel like I want the push to have to be to stop.  I welcome any insight.

Welcome Jazmine!

I wonder how many people actually stop and think in detail about the roles and expectations they have been assigned by the society we live in. My guess is, very few stop and think, if I consider who many people I know who just mindlessly went down the path they have been carved out by society based on being either female or male on the day they were born.

I was born female, and I will admit that it can be a lot easier for a cis female to carve out her own path, and that is probably because it is OK to want to wear cross gender clothes, especially of the gender that is dominant in our society and is valued far more highly. It is far less acceptable to don female ie. lower ranking attire and roles.

Nevertheless, I have never desired children, nor being married to anybody ( though I do have a wonderful soul mate who is my best friend) and I am rather ambitious. I am that because it expresses who I am not because I felt I needed to comply with social expectations.

Gender roles is something I have always hated. In fact, I hate stereotyping people and taking away their freedom of expression most of all.

I am starting my journey to transition to male because my brain sees a male body, not because I have a need to take on male social roles or expectations. I just need to be me. The crux of the problem is not so much what it means to be a woman or a man, it is about social expectations, and I've never complied with them and I won't comply with them once I start passing as a male. I am who I want to be.

Fu.k  social expectations. They are a prison that deprive us humans of our full humanity and the value that this can bring to all of us.

As far as I'm concerned, it is not about what it means to be a woman or a man, all which has been constructed by our social system, it is about allowing each of us to be true to ourselves and living a life to our own design and nature.

Amen.

I think, a more important question to ask yourself is, what does it mean to be you? and what do you need, to be you?
I have asked myself, what does it mean to be a woman, And for every association, there is an exception.

We use the world normal alot in society, but this is more a collection of "most common" what one expects and or associates with one "gender" or another. The truth is, everybody has and image of what man or woman is. This is how we see woman or man. and this is nearly allays an ideal.

I'm going to give an example of the conflict these social norms and expectations can cause.
Crying is a sign of weakness (they say) and men are "supposed" be strong. Society also expect men to be brave, But what happens when as a man, you are brave enough to cry? are you brave and manly? or unmanly and week?

These situations are all over the place when we try and define man or woman by an ideal, or an expectation a social norm, or by things we associate with either. What does having a child say about the woman born without  the ability to do so?

We are not men, nor are we women, we are individuals that may be "a man" or "a woman"
women is not woman, nor is men, man

First I have to solve what does it mean to be me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was thinking this might be a question the counsolar would ask me.

Jazmine, an interesting question and one all people searching for "authenticity" struggle with.
Just today I spent an hour in a spa, trying to clear my mind, trying to work out what the true me is.
I have so many hang ups about the thought of being a woman sexually liberating. But sex has hecome impossible without transporting in my head into a female form, with a man's firm stomach and strong arms holding me.

I worry that I'm not always wanting to clean up the house after work, or why I like to watch soccer. I'm not a real woman, I fear.

I fear my bad experience with men is fooling me into thinking I'm a woman. I worry that I've missed out on girlhood and the countless natural components that make you a woman.

I worry why I "succeeded" outwardly for so long as a man and why approaching 40 did it all fall apart when I've so much to lose and so many people to hurt.