I should preface by saying I fought for too long before transitioning.  I will never be passable.  I'm a hairy person that is balding now, and with lots of grey in my beard.  I can say I absolutely adore the changes that hrt provides.  I'm happier, clothes fit better.  I'm getting compliments from neighbors and coworker too.  They do not know I'm on hrt.  I'm wondering how far I should go?  I like others want to be accepting of me, but want others to be accepting too.  Do others transition to be more androgynous or a feminine male?

Of the two goals:  1)  To accept yourself, and 2) For others to accept you...you can only ever control #1 (and that can take work too!).

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

That will depend on what you need. In my case, Sir gets on my nerves and Ma'am makes me feel right. Looking in the mirror, I want to see a particular image looking back at me. If I don't, I am not totally comfortable with myself. We have members on the site who don't feel this way and are comfortable somewhere in the middle.

Facial hair can be removed. I have seen members who I though would never pass but with a little makeup and the right wig would pass anywhere. While many changes happen early on HRT, you may still see changes in the 5-10 year range. Decide on the image you are comfortable with and ask some of the more talented member of the site help you refine it.

Most important, don't trust your judgment on your appearance. You will be the last one to see the woman in the mirror and we will see her long before you do.

Thanks, you are right, only I can control accepting myself.  I'll work on that.  Thanks for the ideas Dena.  I am considering full body waxes for the hair, even the beard.  I do have a high tolerance for pain, so not worried about that.

Interesting idea of getting together with a more experienced girl from here to see what she can do.  I plan on staying on HRT for the foreseeable future.  The changes and calmness is addicting.  I'll work on myself, and perhaps in a year or so meet with girl from here;).

The beard should be laser if you have the right hair/skin color or electrolysis. Beard hair is just to corse to remove safely any other way. Besides that, waxing distorts the root making electrolysis more difficult should you decide on it in the future. We have a beauty section that has posts on covering beards with makeup in the short run. You are also free to post pictures here and remove them when you have the information you need. Many people have received input in this manner.

Quote from: Bari Jo on July 27, 2017, 11:52:22 PM
Thanks, you are right, only I can control accepting myself.  I'll work on that.  Thanks for the ideas Dena.  I am considering full body waxes for the hair, even the beard.  I do have a high tolerance for pain, so not worried about that.

I had a full body "sugaring" which is the same as waxing but done with a warm sugar mixture rather than wax but still using strips to pull the hairs out and I remember the girl grinning at me and saying you know this might sting a bit? LOL

Just a little bit  But it felt amazing afterwards so would absolutely recommend it for the feeling afterwards.

Laser is really quick and is all over in a short time where Electrolysis can take a bit longer but a combination of the two seems to work best for most people. The key is finding the best practitioner that you can get to.

Have fun with the waxing

Unfortunately, I don't have the right hair for laser on the beard.  I have had about ten hours of electrolysis on the beard, but I swear, I don't see a difference.  I'd really love to do one of those beard clearing electrolysis sessions in one day, but wow that's expensive!  If any electrolysis technicians want to make money on the side/weekends, let's do a clearing, just not for thousands!

Bari Jo

It took around 200 hours of electrolysis to clear my face. My hair and beard were brown in color and my facial hair wasn't corse. As the result I had many fine hairs instead of a few corse ones. Because all of your hair can't be killed in one pass, you need to plan several clearings and then follow up to get the ones that pop up from time to time. In my case I was doing two hours a week so after about a year and a half I would get a complete clearing each time I went in. Time between visits was determined by the amount of time it took to grow enough for an appointment.

Laser is a whole lot faster but only for those who can take advantage of it.

200 hours is an amazing amount of time, but yeah results are results.  My beard is at least 50% white, and I'm not that old, just unlucky.  Oh, and very coarse  and very dense.  I bet half my face volume is in hair roots.  Yes I hate my beard.  It probably sounds worse than it really is.  I am considered a feminine male even with the beard.  Plus, 5'6" and thin, so I do have some blessings.  It might be worthwhile for me to just wax every few weeks or so or even epilate.  I know pipe dream stuff for my face.

I didn't want to just devolve though into only hair removal.  I wanted to think about how close I could be to passing and be happy.I have dreams of being pretty enough to shave my head bald and still be thought of as a girl.  Remember v-ger in Star Trek the motion picture?  God she was hot to be able to pull that off.  is it a dream for all of us to have those pixie and page boy features?  It certainly is mine.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on July 27, 2017, 11:10:24 PM
I should preface by saying I fought for too long before transitioning.  I will never be passable.  I'm a hairy person that is balding now, and with lots of grey in my beard.  I can say I absolutely adore the changes that hrt provides.  I'm happier, clothes fit better.  I'm getting compliments from neighbors and coworker too.  They do not know I'm on hrt.  I'm wondering how far I should go?  I like others want to be accepting of me, but want others to be accepting too.  Do others transition to be more androgynous or a feminine male?

A post from Me!!!

I "Transitioned" to be a for real person. After eight years I am still trying to get get a handle on me.

I tried not doing anything about being trans for some 50 years. There was a brief period, early on in life, when I tried transitioning, twice. Both times utter fails. I took on the Trans-Beast, for real, some 8 years ago. I've been on HRT much of that time.

I still live in that same 6ft tall, even more bald, big everything, deep voiced body with some minor improvements. Enough so that I am actually happy now living there and can look in the mirror.

One BIG key to happiness is learning to accept myself for who and what I am. There was and still is a lot of work in just sorting out the "Who". The "What" was simple. The Shame & Guilt of that far harder to shed.

As an engineer I try to break down problems into simple bits. A good place to start is "Needs" vs "Wants". In a perfect world I would fully transition in a flash. I know in my heart I can after having lived part-time as female for a while. I'd also want to be 5'6" long auburn hair, a great figure, etc... I don't need to transition more then I need to keep all the other aspects of my life that are even more important then gender in balance and safe. I've seen many new members to my TG Support group that Need to transition. I am thankful that transition is not the only viable option for me, one that has a do-over.

Another point to keep in mind is where "On the Spectrum" each of us live is sometimes a moving target. Sometimes in both directions, many times slowly in one. What we need to do for ourselves to re-balance all the aspects of our life that are important is also bound to change. Life and living is all about change.

Shaving your head and still passing is difficult for some CIS women to pull off. If you can pull it off will be determined by your facial shape. After that it would depend on how much you are willing to invest in FFS to erase the male marks left on your face. Many of us with the proper hair style and makeup can pass without FFS. In my case, a pixie doesn't work (my mom and hairdresser ganged up on me when I wasn't looking  ) but I seem to be getting pretty good results with a Dorthy Hamill/wedge cut which is easy to care for and cool in the Arizona summer.

A coarse beard is actually easer to treat because there are fewer hairs per square inch. A fine beard requires more needle time just to address the volume of hair.

Hi Joanne, interesting perspective.  I will be learning how far to make me happy as well.  I doubt it would be full.  If I was 12 again, heck yes full, but I'm not young anymore.  I've also had starts and stops.  I think this time I'm sticking to it though.

Dena you are looking good.  I am not willing to do FFS, I'm hoping I can be happy without that.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on July 30, 2017, 04:31:00 AM
Dena you are looking good.  I am not willing to do FFS, I'm hoping I can be happy without that.

My current avatar picture is from about 1986 and I have aged a little bit. I was also off HRT for about 10 years and am still recovering from that. The only facial surgery I had was a nose job and that was because I had a really nasty bump on it.

One of these days I might update my avatar picture however I need to get a good picture of myself. Currently I don't have anybody who can handle a camera so I will have to work on self portraits.

Hah, handling the camera is the easy part.  I'd post a picture of me but am too embarrassed, currently, maybe privately;)

Not as easy as it sounds. I have a Pentax digital SLR with a powerful flash unit and enough lens to take a picture of the moon if I want. My arms are not 10 feet long so I guess I have to order a remote control for the  camera. Taking it with the timer just didn't work very well.

When I had a portrait taken, I set up my scene at night with a shop light up top three quarter, and a warm amber as a fill bottom front.  I had a neighbor stand in an area while I lit him.  Then I gave him the camera and had him take my picture.  Worked well, very dramatic look;)

Btw, I do visual effects lighting so it's always about the drama;)

My avatar picture was taken by my roommate who grew up around cameras and had a two year degree in photography. At one point they wanted her to teach. The problem is she passed away 4 years ago and I really haven't found anybody with her or my eye to handle the camera. Sometimes it's not the setup but knowing when to push the button. The problem with a timer is while you are waiting for the camera to go off, the look can become unnatural.