OKAY SO
I've been through a hell of a ride trying to figure out who I am and what gender I identify as.

It all started when I was born. I was born with a vagina, as safely as I can say. And of course, I grew up receiving Barbies for Christmas just like any "girl." But growing up I never felt the same as the other girls. I didn't feel like a girl at all.
It wasn't until I was 11 when I first heard the word "transgender" at school, so I went home and did some research. I had learned that the entire time growing up, I was a transgender male.
Well fast forward to freshman year, 3 years of identifying as a transgender male. I didn't feel "feminine" at all, I didn't identify with the body parts that I had. I felt uncomfortable with my name and I cringed whenever I heard "she" being used at me. I came out to my family, and began living my normal life as a much happier me.
But then sophomore year came and I felt...different. I no longer felt like a boy, or a girl. I learned I was androgynous. I came out to my family and friends and began using the pronouns they/them.
Now, it's the summer between my sophomore and junior year. I feel like a girl for the first time. I feel...weird. I don't feel masculine at all anymore. I don't know what I am.
My friends think I'm genderfluid, but all of the genderfluid people I meet will identify more feminine one day or week, then masculine the next. Whereas I feel like a different gender every year.
I've gone through 4 name changes, more than 10 makeovers, 3 different sets of pronouns. I confuse everybody and I feel like a burden for it.
Am I genderfluid? Is there a word for a person who's gender identity changes every year? Help!

Here's my question.
How important is a label to you?
Can't you just be you?

I am transgender in my mind but unbothered about my male body.
Is there a term for that? Does it matter? More importantly does it change who I am if there is?
I know we all like to say "I am XYZ" so in your case, you're transgender

Welcome to Susan's Place. What you are describing sounds like gender fluid/bigender. It is a part of the non binary had we have members who identify as you do. It's difficult to live with being non binary because you have to pick something. Some people pick a side and stick with it while others pick something near the middle then alter their look depending on how they feel. It's pretty much a what ever works for you. I have a few special links you might be interest in. The first is our WIKI and three more that might be helpful.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202966.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201219.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196073.0.html

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.


I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site.  It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Just a guess, but I'm thinking that your system is awash in estrogen.  Maybe you don't have to choose your gender just yet.  I'm no expert on FtM, but I think making a hormonal adjustment later (if that is what you choose) is not as hard (although breasts would have and probably already have developed) as MtF would be (hard to alter voice).  Let it play out...