I'm not into labels or anything, but I think I am trans. Since I was little, I always thought I'd grow up into being a boy. Then when I got a little older, I figured out that that's not happening so I'd always wish and pray to God that one day I'd just wake up being a boy.

Older now, I've accepted being a female. I'm not uncomfortable with myself but I'm def not happy at all. I always think life would have been better if I was a guy.

I've grown up sexually abused by distant family members and been rape recently so my depression has gotten worse with anxiety and I also deal with mild PTSD. I feel like I've been fighting with myself trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I know figuring this out is not going to cure any of my depression, but I feel like once I figure this out I can get closer to feeling okay at least.

Anyone have any input on what they think?


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Welcome to Susan's Place. If you aren't seeing a therapist, you should consider it. If you would like to work on the transgender issues, a gender therapist would be preferable. Often when many of us start the transition process we have a number of emotional issues that have accumulated over the years so and unless all of our issues are addressed, there will still be issues after we complete our transition. I owe it to my last therapist to wipe the slate clean allowing me enter my new life without emotional issues from my past.

I am going to give you two links that might help you explore some of your feeling. The first link is our WIKI where you may find some of what you feel explained. The second link is "the transition channel" where a gender therapist will help you explore some of your feeling. Feel free to ask any questions you have and we will do our best to answer them.

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I'd look around and see if you can find a therapist who has experience with trans patients.

Welcome!

Well, I know from as long as I remember that I was not really female, and it got harder to convince others that I wasn't as I got older ( 47 now) and for me the time had come to transition.

I heartily agree with the suggestions made by our sister and bro above that talking to a transgender therapist is a good start to whatever new life you want to create for yourself. Transitioning is a huge step and you want to be absolutely sure that it is right for you, especially since you have other trauma to deal with as well. It's a bit like spring cleaning: out with rubbish and in with the new.

See you around!

I think that if you strongly feel like that then I echo what the others are saying, find a specialist and have an honest chat to them.
Welcome to the site