Quote from: elkie-t on July 27, 2017, 12:20:10 PM
I went to an interview myself today for a position I desire much. You know how you're supposed to be dressed up for an interview - black shoes, tie, suit... I happen to not feel comfortable in a suit any more (after losing some weight) and just worn a tie. Whether I would get an offer or not, remains unknown. But I was comfortable during the interview and hopefully it would help more than 'proper' attire


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It sort of depends on the region and place you live. Here in the PNW wearing a suit to interview for most jobs for men would be far above what is expected and might actually be a negative. Common is a nice shirt, pants and shoes and potentially a sport jacket if its not summer. Women wear basically anything but club wear and jeans to interviews. Smart casual rules the day except perhaps in banking and government interviews.

If i were doing an interview i'd probably wear a nice women's white oxford, slim pants and oxford type shoes. Its smart, clean and not distracting.

I've decided that I'm not cutting my hair. I love my hair, it's an essential part of me. I think I will e-mail the HR lady on Monday and ask directly if long hair is an issue. I would hate to cut it off and find out it was no big deal.

So happy you decided not to cut your hair for a job interview.

Having long hair for me was the only way I had to cope with being in the wrong body throughout my youth and into my 30's. This was decades before YouTube and the gradual switch towards social acceptance of the LBGTQ community in the United States. Sadly, I shaved my head in a fit of denial of my condition and tried to start looking all manly by lifting weights and dressing more conservatively. This destroyed me inside. It took me over ten years to finally break the cycle of denial/pain/depression and to start to transition to being myself again. Letting my hair grow back was a major first step for me personally and letting it get past the stage where I don't look like a homeless person was always the hardest to overcome.

Thankfully my employer hasn't thrown a fit about letting it grow out. I don't really deal with the public at work and pretty much keep to myself. Can't wait till it gets long enough again to pull it all back into a ponytail as I am not yet open at work about being trans or that I'm now on HRT. I figure the time will come when my body changes will make it harder to keep that part of my life private and will have to see where that leads me at my current job. At least when I look in the mirror now I see the person I want to be and not the stranger I couldn't recognize for the last ten+ years. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone and thankfully you won't have to go through the sense of loss I did after cutting my hair to just fit in.

Best of luck in your job search.

Quote from: Ryanne on July 30, 2017, 11:53:10 AM
So happy you decided not to cut your hair for a job interview.

Having long hair for me was the only way I had to cope with being in the wrong body throughout my youth and into my 30's. This was decades before YouTube and the gradual switch towards social acceptance of the LBGTQ community in the United States. Sadly, I shaved my head in a fit of denial of my condition and tried to start looking all manly by lifting weights and dressing more conservatively. This destroyed me inside. It took me over ten years to finally break the cycle of denial/pain/depression and to start to transition to being myself again. Letting my hair grow back was a major first step for me personally and letting it get past the stage where I don't look like a homeless person was always the hardest to overcome.

Thankfully my employer hasn't thrown a fit about letting it grow out. I don't really deal with the public at work and pretty much keep to myself. Can't wait till it gets long enough again to pull it all back into a ponytail as I am not yet open at work about being trans or that I'm now on HRT. I figure the time will come when my body changes will make it harder to keep that part of my life private and will have to see where that leads me at my current job. At least when I look in the mirror now I see the person I want to be and not the stranger I couldn't recognize for the last ten+ years. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone and thankfully you won't have to go through the sense of loss I did after cutting my hair to just fit in.

Best of luck in your job search.

Thank you for sharing that. I can relate to that.

Quote from: Ryanne on July 30, 2017, 11:53:10 AM
I shaved my head in a fit of denial of my condition and tried to start looking all manly by lifting weights and dressing more conservatively

I also did all of this in an effort to be as manly as possible. It didn't change anything about how I felt! Except I got super annoyed at my muscles and had to work to make them disappear.

Sinclair, I'm glad you decided against cutting your hair! Best of luck in the interview.

When people in the US get to know others for the first time I often hear "Hi.  What do you do?" - sometimes before they ask the other person's name. 

I have never heard the "what's your career" question in Europe or Asia when I encounter people outside of work.  I don't know why this is such a common greeting in the US.  Maybe it's the same reason so many are uncomfortable with people who aren't at either end of the gender spectrum - a habit of categorizing everyone and everything.

I have a weekend home in Roslyn WA (in the US) where the 1990s television show Northern Exposure was set.  I quit drinking years ago, but when tourists want to start a conversation at the Brick Tavern the most frequent opening question I hear is "So, what do you do?"  I am there to relax and not about to hear them complain about the latest software update from the company I work for.  So I pick random answers.  I have replied "I'm a drug dealer, how about you?"  (Some truth to this, because two industries call their customers "users" and one of them is software).  I have answered "I'm an assassin" and watch their reaction when I focus on what's behind them.  Or if I want them to go away I tell them I invented something stupid like the little plastic pin inside a box of pizza and start describing it until they say "oh hey, gotta go."

I think a career is important in enabling other things in life, but it isn't life itself.

Quote from: Kendra on July 31, 2017, 01:29:37 PM
When people in the US get to know others for the first time I often hear "Hi.  What do you do?" - sometimes before they ask the other person's name. 

I have never heard the "what's your career" question in Europe or Asia when I encounter people outside of work. 

I have a theory about that. The USA whether it has deserved it or not, has long had the reputation of an egalitarian society. People become rich who were poor etc. People still have this need to position themselves on the ladder of human accomplishment when they meet someone, how do i measure up? Its sort of dumb in my opinion but that is something that is ingrained in kids socially. In our society it was not and is not always that easy to tell what rung of society people come from. Think an Ivy League educated person from the Northeast vs an oil executive from Texas or a silicon valley wonder kid, wearing a hoodie and calling everyone "dude". All of those people could be very wealthy in the American tradition.

Elsewhere the societies evolved differently or slightly differently and it was easier from the very get go, to figure this out. Dress was more by class and definitely speech was a big giveaway. A London accent vs a Northeast England accent, high German vs. the more rural focused low german dialects etc. There is also simple segregation of social class in social situations that is more common in other countries. America has some of these queues but its much less exact.

Quote from: Kendra on July 31, 2017, 01:29:37 PM
the most frequent opening question I hear is "So, what do you do?"  I am there to relax and not about to hear them complain about the latest software update from the company I work for.

You don't need to say where you work when asked "what do you do". I've stopped because it's usually a conversation killer for me.

But for snarky answers, I usually say, "I'm not allowed to talk about it."

So, the bad news, I had to drive all the way into Orlando for the interview for a job that's on the East coast. Anyone that knows central Florida, driving to Orlando sucks ... all the tolls, all the confusing highway switching, the traffic, etc. Ughhh. The good news, the interview was fantastic. And we talked about hair and dress, etc., they seem pretty progressive. The point being my experience and knowledge is perfect for this company. It was a great interview, just a horrible drive to Orlando. So, this girl is smiling tonight! Sorry for the late post but I had to take a nap after all of that and just got up  .... going back to bed. *hugs* 

Glad your interview went fantastic!  And just as important, sounds like they don't have a cookie-cutter mentality.

And the drive took its toll but you survived.   

Great news!!