I haven't started hrt but am in the process. What I'm wanting to know is.  Will male ego go away with hrt. I'm def transgender but I struggle with macho type thoughts and being competitive you know male ego type stuffg. And i hate it. Will this type of stuff naturally go away with hrt?

I'm finding it to be more habit, now. So when i recognize it it's easier to shutdown since there's no emotion behind it

--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "

You can't medicate away male privilege/ego.  You need to talk/think it through.  Estrogen might impact your level of initiative/aggression, but the rest is up to you.

So it's something you ladies had to work on letting go of?

Yep.  Trained in, trained out.

Dang I thought that was something the her would knock it right out of me lol.. well I guess it's something I shouldn't start working on. At least it's some change I can make while waiting on her I'm always looking for ways I can build myself

I'm lucky in that I rarely play the one upmanship game.
I find it silly and facile.

Has E made me less likely than that?
Maybe. If someone starts bragging I find I simply dont care about it.

Quote from: Randy1980 on August 01, 2017, 10:33:42 PMDang I thought that was something the her would knock it right out of me lol.. well I guess it's something I shouldn't start working on. At least it's some change I can make while waiting on her I'm always looking for ways I can build myself

HRT may help with the process, especially if you're aware of it (like Ripley kicking the Alien out of the airlock). 

Having an ego isn't a problem -- well, anymore than it is for any other person on the planet.  But what makes "the male ego" so toxic in today's culture is that it is rarely accompanied by empathy, with a selfless concern for other people.  In my experience, estrogen and progesterone and anti-androgens really helped to unlock my own empathy, because they unlocked my emotions.  And, I dunno, it's so much easier to empathize when I can actually feel without inhibition.

I think it's also interesting that so many of the world's religions have some form of ego death either in their practice or their mythology.  Following a spiritual path (take your pick) might help with your endeavor, Randy.  Then again, transition itself is a spiritual path, so that might be redundant. 

If you like to read in an academic style, I'd highly recommend Women's Ways of Knowing and You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, more as jumping off points for wrapping our heads around this than as some kind of edict for how to behave. 

I saw in myself the male ego macho BS stuff was just one of the many tactics I employed to be a chameleon and able to blend in with guys. As was said earlier you essentially "Train" yourself so it is your reflexive reaction to the events around you.

It wasn't untill I started putting in the hard work work to heal myself from the inside and begin to shed the Shame & Guilt of who and what I am, to accept that I am trans, did I give myself permission to try, on occasion, just to be Me. To react as I sort of always wanted to react and to not do what I thought some guy should react like.

Quote from: Randy1980 on August 01, 2017, 10:23:34 PM
I haven't started hrt but am in the process. What I'm wanting to know is.  Will male ego go away with hrt. I'm def transgender but I struggle with macho type thoughts and being competitive you know male ego type stuffg. And i hate it. Will this type of stuff naturally go away with hrt?

I have found that after 6 months or so that I felt different. Don't look for some switch to suddenly turn off on the macho thoughts. You have to be motivated to want to change your thought process,first of all. The hormones brought about an assess to emotion that wasn't there before. I used to say I see emotion in black and white. After HRT I see them in vivid color. I have lost a lot of the need to compete to be funny or have  some great idea that say my older brothers didn't have. I no longer have that need. Also, I got more comfortable listening to others. If you get a great kick out of the competitions in your life, you will have to decide what to allow to fade away and what to allow in. In my opinion, the mellowness is so much better than the need to be the winner. Good luck.
Moni

Quote from: Sophia Sage on August 02, 2017, 07:22:48 AM
HRT may help with the process, especially if you're aware of it (like Ripley kicking the Alien out of the airlock). 

Having an ego isn't a problem -- well, anymore than it is for any other person on the planet.

Well, kinda sorta...

Male ego isn't the problem.  Male privilege is the problem.  Those raised male have been socialized in different ways than those raised female.  Talking out of turn, taking credit for the ideas of others, talking down to women, "mansplaining", etc are behaviors that, regardless of the level of ego, people raised as male have been encouraged to adopt.

I fully agree that HRT broadens one's emotional range.  Having a broader emotional range doesn't always result in less privileged behavior...in fact it is often quite the opposite.  Fueled by more emotion, the person of privilege feels even more compelled to assert themselves when they should be settling into a group and actively considering the input of others.  We all know trans women who have become miserable women and/or people who make other women miserable because they haven't forgotten the ingrained habit of acting as if they know more than they do.

This sort of thing takes work--real work, and left undone will "out" a trans woman as much as her appearance.

Yeah I'm not some outward matcho show off or anything it's more matcho thoughts my male side telling me to stop and putting shameful thoughts in my head about everything telling me to man up I think the hrt will help but I agree I need to work on excepting myself for who and what I really am.. I need to realize that I'm not a man I never was even though I faked it very well I'm a woman and it's ok to be a woman and act like one.. thank you all for the advice

I used to work in a call center and I noticed men had a really hard time saying "I'm sorry" to the customers.  Even tho it's pretty much a requirement of the job to say that early and often. Which women do easily.  When I was a young man I had a much harder time saying "I'm sorry."  Most men didn't last very long at the job.

I was pre-HRT then, so no I don't think HRT will help much with that.

Oh dear. I am younger then you and i still had that issue. See, i wasnt super macho naturally. But at I young age i knew i had to be among the boys and not question it. I patterened my beleifs, actions, behaviours and stuff from men and only men. Boy, was that a mistake. Years and years and years of trying to be every type of man under the sun I came to the conclusion that putting myself under the male umbrella was what was causing me greif. However even then I had realized that tho acting and livng as male myself was a huge bummer, just about everything i learned and beelived from about age 8 was from some male. Shedding both those behaviors and acts are super hard. Today, I am at my most feminine point and even remembering those times bother me, but they still pop into my head. It was real difficukt in 2014 when the dysphoira was hard but spent years not even acknowldhing that girl inside. Or well, not allowing her time to breath anways. She made her presence known

I struggle with this as well. Often I am not even conscious of it. It was learned and rewarded behavior from when I was growing up. I am starting to catch myself now that I pay attention to it. Its like anger and aggression were my go to emotions, because I was not  "allowed" to have any others.

If it makes you feel any better, I have known plenty of aggressive and competitive women, especially at one facility I worked at where most of my coworkers were nurses.  Some of them could get very nasty with one another at times.  The last job I worked at, my boss was a woman, and would often tell us to pull our panties up and get on with the job, she was incredibly aggressive, competitive, and much more of a "man" than I ever was. 

These ladies had estrogen coursing through their bloodstream for years, and it did not change them.  I've always been on the passive side, hate competition, want to live in a world that is united in peace, etc, etc, and am not on HRT.  I've seen them get in fights, stand up to others, where as I am the sort of person that will likely cry in direct confrontation, I really don't think it is a gender thing.  It is just how gender roles are traditionally seen.

What I am saying is, you can be competitive and be a woman.  I don't see any conflict here. 

Well I guess I'm lucky I never experienced this. In fact I didn't even know there was such thing until recently since I've seen those 2 words together often.

Quote from: zamber74 on August 02, 2017, 10:50:10 AM


What I am saying is, you can be competitive and be a woman.  I don't see any conflict here. 

True, but society treats competitive/competent women differently.

Men show initiative.  Women are pushy.
Men show passion when they speak.  Women are shrill.
Men speak their mind.  Women are bitchy.
Men rise above the pack.  Women don't work well with a team.

Here's another example:

Nowadays, I have no problem saying to people, "I can't help you move that, I'm not strong enough."

I'm not sure it is ego, being stereotypical or what, but i have changed considerably. Less competitive but not completely so, less worried about possessiveness,  less fear of not having power and being in control, more willing to let others lead in some situations etc.