Hi everyone,

First of all I want to apologise if I've posted this in the wrong place.

I've recently told my doctor that I want to transition and hes referred me to a gender clinic. (the only one available to me has an 18 month long wait list 

I've not told anyone else and was wondering where do I start? 

I'm currently living with my parents and sister, and I'm looking to move out soon as I don't really get much privacy as such I've never risked doing anything that could lead to any kind of questions.

I've been in denial for a long time, I thought it was something that would I grow out of or it was a phase but its something that followed me for as long as I can remember and recently its just gotten too much for to cope with, I think to need to speak to a counsellor of some sort as well but I'm struggling to find anything locally and was wondering if anyone knew of any good online sites or ones they would recommend.

I'm just really confused at the moment, I just don't know what the next step should be or what I should be focusing on. I've recently traded doing archery for yoga & cycling and I'm currently dieting to try bring my weight down.

Well I'm sorry if this post was a bit erratic, I don't mind answering any questions any of you have if any.

Take care everyone 

Dear distorted

Welcome to Susan's

I am guessing from your comment about waiting lists that you are in the U.K..  If so, the only way around the waiting list is probably to go private.  Is there any way you can afford to see a private gender therapist?  Do you have a friend that you trust to talk to about your situation? 

Usually, we recommend that the first step be therapy.  However, in some cases, it may be best to come out to immediate family.  That is a call that only you can make.

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hiya and welcome.
are you in the UK?
our nhs is struggling with the surge of trans peole wanting help.

This is the best site I have been on.
The people give support and advice and the mods keep things in order without being control freaks.

Rather than us asking questions, why dont you just ask us some questions?

Thanks for your replies, yes I am in the UK, I have looked at seeing a private therapist however the nearest one to me that is suitable is quite far away, I may have a solution to that coming up but its a bit doubtful.

I was quite shocked to be honest when I was told how long I would have to wait, I'm turning 31 one tomorrow so I want to try and get the ball(s) rolling (apologies for that awful joke  )

One thing I want to do more than anything is get my own place again so I can have some space and privacy, I do work but I don't think I could currently afford a place.

I have applied to local council housing agency to see if there's anything they can do to help, I noticed a part on the application form that asked for your orientation so i checked transgender but there was no where to elaborate and was wondering what they take into consideration in regards to that, I don't suppose anyone on this forum has any experience with something similar do they?

Im happy to of found such an active forum.

Welcome to Susan's Place. The rule is you can do just about anything you want. Some people do voice, facial hair removal, learn makeup, style their hair and go full time before the ever get their first dose of hormones. Others deal with it at a more relaxed pace. We can give you advice on any of these subjects so it will be up to you to determine how you want to attack it.

Actually, 18 months is one of the shorter waits in the UK. We have had reports of over 2 years before the first appointment. One advantage of doing as much as you can now is it will help reduce the time you spend working through the medical system. If you are able to go full time before your first appointment and can document it, it will count toward your full time requirement. If you have just done preparation work it will show your determination.

Hey; also from the UK

You can refer yourself to any GIC you want; doesn't need to be the one closest to you. Although all of them now have a waiting list if a year or more I believe. You can search online for current GIC waiting times.

For counselling many LGBT charities offer counselling services; with the payment adjusted to how much you earn. Alternatively you can look at Gender GP which is a private GIC service that might help you get HRT. Or there's Pink Therapy. An online directory of therapists who specialise in helping LGBT people. They can't give you the go ahead for HRT but they may be able to sort your thoughts out.

Atm the best advice us to distract yourself. Get a new hairstyle you've previously been too nervous to go for. Buy some new clothes; even boxers help with the dysphoria. Buy a chest binder; GC2B make the best ones or you can get a second hand one from the MORF binder scheme and you just have to pay for shipping.

You might want to check out the TMSA UK fb page; which is a trans masculine support and advice group.

I'm MtF, probably should of mentioned that. Thanks for the details regarding counselling that's really appreciated.

yeah its very tough in the UK.
After my first appointment my next is six months away.
its insane!

let go of the worries, like others have said, you can do everything female without any hormones whatsoever and go as slow or fast as you like.

As for council housing (delighted to hear they have transgender on the lists) I doubt gender has much to do with it.
Its usually young parents in overcrowded houses who get priority.

Ive considered myself to be taking it slow but only a month after starting hormones I am wearing mascara to work and a hair grip.

you'll be just fine

Quote from: distorted on August 03, 2017, 07:18:56 PM
I'm MtF, probably should of mentioned that. Thanks for the details regarding counselling that's really appreciated.

Ah sorry for assuming :/. Glad I at least managed to help somewhat. You might want to check out Transpire on fb. They hold trans social groups in Southend but it's also a useful resource for all things trans. You could ask around about Gender Gp; im sure someone can offer better advice than I can. And there are more MtF members than ftm ones.

Waiting lists are a pain but a necessary evil. I'm also 31 and am still on the waiting list. Waited 12 months to get my first appointment, which I realise in retrospect is actually quicker than average! Then 3 months to get my 2nd, and now a 6 month wait for my 3rd. (Note: not everyone has to do this many appointments, I got delayed on health reasons.)

When I spoke to my GP about being transgender, he also acknowledged my depression, and put me in for NHS counselling to deal with some non-trans-related stuff. Perhaps it would be worthwhile talking to your doctor about something like that? Won't help directly with the trans stuff, but may help with other areas in life which in turn will help ease the overall feelings.

Thanks for that that's not a bad suggestion, I do feel like i could do with a good talk with someone, just gets messy when you try keeping it all in.