Yup. That happened just about 45 minutes ago... or maybe about an hour ago. Anyways, I decided to get a tea at Tim Hortons and behold a group of teens where sitting there. One of the teens I work with and his work ethic is poor, his mouth is big and I have heard romours he is a spoiled brat. Which makes sense given the two jobs I worked at where he was there (current and former) he only got them because his parents are close to the owners. The others already knew who I was, i am a baker at the lone grocery store in Petawawa (or the only grocery store with a bakery) , and there we give one free cookie to kids. Now, sometimes teens ask for one and with the expcetion of one of the baker people i work with we are quite passive and will give one out to most people. Tongiht, a group of three teen age boys came to the bakery. While two of them were ok enough there was one acting stupid. Really stupid. He was talking in a nerd voice saying very child-ish things. Folks, I dont know if it is the Estrogen or just connecting to that inner woman more and more but I am finding I cant deal with stupid like I used to. So i gave him the unimpressed look and told him dont do that again, then as i was about to give his friend a cookie he tried to lunge his hand into the cookie holder. Naturally, I was pi$$ed and I didnt give him a cookie. So i gave his other friend a cookie (which he tried to take) and told them to have a good night. The annoying kid then started to whine and I told him that no I dont appreciate rude and childish kids who act stupid. The three boys got kicked out for making other trouble in the store shortly later.

Tonight I decided to go to Tim Hortons for a Chammomile tea as it helps me sleep. I saw the boys there aswell. I walked in and i heard laughter, you know, that insulting ''look at the freak show'' mocking laughter. Well that same boy who didnt get a cookie decided to mock me for being feminine/trans. And he did it in such a way that annoyed me. So, needless to say I didnt care if he had 4 other friends with him I let him have it... and said things that will probably get me smitted. needless to say this kid, who seemed to have a lot to say towards me before became speechless and didnt say a word to me again. I have little time for bs.

My question I thought 15 year olds were more smarter and open minded these days then when I was even growing up. Naturally I would try to ignore but I just couldnt today and in truth, I havent been mocked for being trans in a loooong time. In one way i guess I am good off since they didnt decided to jump me or anything, granted some of them were the size I was when I was 11 but still 5 agaisnt one are not good numbers in any stage especially objects like helmets and such.

How do you handle these situations?

Well Ashley, I certainly broke into a smile when I read that you had given the child a verbal beating!  Many are more open these days. My stepson who is your age went to a small town high school with both an open ftm and mtf in their class. BUT boys will be boys. Not an excuse but a common observation.

(Please no one get insulted by what's following as it is offered in a bit of jest)

Reminds me of a conversation a few of us girls had at a coffee place after group a few weeks back. During the conversation I mentioned how to me anyway, when groups of guys are together, their conversations turn umm how can I say it, juvenile is the kindest word. Not the one I chose. A young girl just 19-20 said quite plainly, "Boys are dumb.". To which I responded "It took me most of 40 years to figure that out.".

My point is men and women really do think differently. It's not easy to understand or deal with the other at times.

Lol thanks Josie<3

Sigh, I really think it depends on the type of boy. Like I said, these ones were the spoiled and preppy ones. I guess some progress is being made. I know that if it was 2007 then I would be mocked nearly everywhere I would be.I just hope in by 2027 this non-sense will be forgien.

Despite the chances I'd be beaten far more likely than just mocked, if the Internet had existed so I could have understood there were options back even in 1994, I would have jumped at the chance to transition then. I would have been 17 and just out of high school.

Well, better late than never in life. 

Quote from: josie76 on August 04, 2017, 10:24:54 PM
Despite the chances I'd be beaten far more likely than just mocked, if the Internet had existed so I could have understood there were options back even in 1994, I would have jumped at the chance to transition then. I would have been 17 and just out of high school.

Well, better late than never in life. 

!! I was born in 1994!!, omg had you transitioned then it would have been the best year in the universes history. Then again, it already was... as I said, I was born that year !

Sorry that happened to you, but good for you for putting that him in his place!
Yeah, boys (especially teenagers) can be really dumb when they get together in a group. Perfectly smart, reasonable, polite kids all of a sudden turn into insufferable little punks (I was pretty obnoxious myself... ).

Quote from: josie76 on August 04, 2017, 10:24:54 PM
Despite the chances I'd be beaten far more likely than just mocked, if the Internet had existed so I could have understood there were options back even in 1994, I would have jumped at the chance to transition then. I would have been 17 and just out of high school.

Hey, I graduated high school in 1994! The existence of transgender people wasn't even on my radar back then. I was on dial-up bulletin boards back then, but that was just things like anime fan pages (getting anime was so hard back then!) and dungeons & dragons (and other tabletop RPG) stuff.

Hi Ashley,

  I couldn't begin to tell you how you should have handled it, I do know you probably handled it better than I would have. So I think you did okay.
  It is sad that you even had to be treated like that.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sorry that happened to you. Young guys can be vicious. Like someone said it depends on the person. When there is a group of young males involved I would suggest avoiding them. I'm glad you told that guy off but you have to be careful . If you embarrass a guy in front of his friends he is going to want to get back at you. Never think a 15 year old wouldn't assault you. A group of young guys is dangerous. Boys ARE stupid. If you have embarrassed a guy in front of his buddies and if they egg him on, he's not going to stop and think before he acts. And someone under 18 won't be prosecuted very severely. Not like someone over 18. They know that too. My dad has arrested kids under 18. Some of them have been arrested before. They don't even care because they know they aren't going to prison because they're under age. It's not right but that's how it is. So please be careful about situations like this.
Julia

Two possibilities.

My life as a chameleon has allowed me to see time after time after time after... that in today's PC world people are trained to give the proper PC response and to act in the proper PC way when they think the Thought Police are about. Get people alone in their true "Safe Spaces" and the PC filters get ripped away.  Teens in packs are a great example, especially with the teen rebel factor thrown in to fuel the fire.

Second Option: Alpha male wanna-be acting like a total ass. Most teens know they are essentially "Bullet Proof", able to do or say pretty much anything they want without any fear of reprisals. In fact in this hyper PC world where all children are "Innocent" & "Good" (funny how I don't remember that being they for all the kids around me when I was a kid. more like the opposite) if an adult even dares to yell at them it can be a crime.

Sorry you had to put up with that kind of behaviour.  A group of teenagers, especially boys, revert to half the IQ of the dumbest member when they are in a group.  Good for you for giving them a tongue-lashing!

Quote
Hey, I graduated high school in 1994! The existence of transgender people wasn't even on my radar back then. I was on dial-up bulletin boards back then, but that was just things like anime fan pages (getting anime was so hard back then!) and dungeons & dragons (and other tabletop RPG) stuff.

SarahP being trans wasn't exactly defined in my head then but I know if I had understood I could do anything with my feelings beside hide, I would have. I only knew of the idea of sex change operations and drag queens from the way they were shown in movies. Not good at all. I know at 17 I wasn't exactly very masculine looking yet. I was physically weaker still than any other boy and my chest had not yet expanded to adult size.

I didnt handle it.
I was ridicueled at wotk, the effect on my emotions was clear, and people ask what was up, i told them. Work reported the crime, and urged me to follow suit.

I was like their only 11-15, any work said, thats enought of that, how will they learn to be adults, if society doesnt teach them how. In the end, work asked me if i wanted them banned from the service, I said no. And that all I wanted was to not feel like  its my fualt for having a job.

They said we can fire you if you like. I said ooh no dont do that. And they said thats, that then see you tomorrow. With a smile like allways. 

Sorry the issue occurred.

I have not had an issue with teens yet so I do not know how I would handle it. I definitely would not give him a cookie in the future. You knew him and he mocked you, that must have hurt, sorry that occurred. I most likely would have ignored him. It does sound like that bully was a coward.

I was verbally solicited from a yelling guy wanting sex from across a street. He was about 25 and built. He kept it up as the light changed he walked toward my friend and I.  He came right up to us and stopped briefly and we ignored him. He kept walking shouting he wanted a sexual act performed on him. He was built and had his shirt off and was very muscular but in reality he was all mouth.

I had another incident when this really big guy blocked my path and was shouting obscenities and saying I was crazy. He was really drunk. I just stared at him for 30 seconds( I had sunglasses on) and he calmed down and just turned and walked back to the wall where his drunk buddies were. Later when I passed by  saw him and he did not do anything.

    Sorry you had to experience such awful behavior but guys are jerks when trying to impress their buddies Though this is no excuse  I do understand the mentality as I spent 50 years playing that role  I am proud to say I never stooped so low as to harass any one for being different

   bobbisue

Sorry Ashley you had to put up with such kn##heads its not on but young lads don't seem to think with there brains, its all about alpha males/ egos these day's, I have a older lad who's my neighbor he shouts his mouth off now & again, girls of the same age are much more mature.
I would of loved to seen you having a go at them, I probably would of been in tears so good for you girl!.
Sara

Thanks everyone! I try my best to deal with what I can

teenagers smarter? well it depends on what you mean by smarter but yes they do tend to be more open minded, but you challenged him and he wanted to get back at you. that's when teens do very cruel and dangerous things so be very careful with how you deal with them. I personally don't yell at them but I will reach out to their parents if I know them, the school they go to if I know which school it is and if they play sports or they do ROTC (easiest way to win) or if they attend a church and I know which one I will reach out to them with the WWJD type talk and they handle it. If you feed into the childish behavior they feel like you are on the same level as they are and are likely to continue on in the future bothering you or worse. If you handle things like you are a older adult who is say a teacher they tend to stand down

Group of teen boys...there ya go. Just showing off to their friends