Hello everyone!
I am FtM.
I'm going into senior year, and I'm very stressed about the way I'm going to present myself. Last year, I had my counselor have my teachers call me by my last name and use he/him pronouns. Then my (married, 27 year old) cousin found out and threatened me over it. She is a very religious muslim. I am forced to wear a headscarf, however I wear it like a hoodie in order to still pass as male (which does work.) But the issue is, so many people would ask me "why are you wearing that? "Is that a headscarf?" "How come they let you wear it?" (The school also has some muslims, the majority are arabs.)
So of course, I will be entering senior year still being forced to wear it. Barely passing as male. Still looking like a 12-15 year old when I'm almost 18. I dislike the fact that I feel like a child entering senior year but I will be eighteen in a few months. Even when I turn 18, I still will be forced to wear it because I have to obey my family since I live under their roof. I still even have baby fat on my face. I am very embarrassed and I do not know what to do. Is there a way to minimize looking like a child and more masculine? Someone on ->-bleeped-<- once told me that the older I get, the less I look like a boy unless I get testosterone. I DO want to get it, I do want to transition Freshman year of College, but I know my family are completely against transgender, and I am not very sure if I will be able to move out once I graduate High school.
I am so disappointed and stressed. I also wore/wear skinny jeans so of course I will look feminine. This year, I plan on going back to wearing loose jeans and more masculine clothes.

Tough spot... you cannot do much without family help. I would suggest convincing them to let you go into physical training... Look for Cross Fit and if you could get access to some weights, that might help too. Classical boxing or MMA or wrestling are awesome too, but I am not sure if your family would approve it.

Male status is defined by physical strength and fighting ability in the same way as beauty is defining a female status. No matter what path you will choose, being strong will prove useful.


If you are determined, you can build up a lot of strength even at home without any equipment doing some basic exercises like push-ups and sit downs (try it on one leg 10 times, then switch legs)