I love all of you.  I don't know most of you, but I do.  Because we're in this together. 

Now before you hit the "back" button, or feel afraid that I'm going to call you out, know this.  I in no way am going to use this to judge anyone, or tell you you're wrong, or anything like that.  But as I transition, and as I read posts here and talk to other trans people, I've been learning about the variety of feelings people have about the gender they're transitioning into (and sometimes away from).  I really want to create this discussion so we can learn from each other.  And become better versions of who we were yesterday.  And a better version tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Much love,
Aria

Interesting question.  Tough to answer.  If you asked this to a cis person they wouldn't know how to answer it except on a superficial level.

I would say the ability to not think about my gender at all.  This is one of the aspects of transitioning that has surprised me the most.  I don't think about it on a sub conscience level at all any more.  Pre transition it was always there.  Now it's not. 

The change in my mental state is amazing. 

To answer a slightly different question "what does it mean to be cis?" Is "sub conscience peace about gender."

Thank you for asking.  It helped me to put my thoughts in perspective.

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Being a woman?
Freedom.

For me it means being the person I was meant to be.
Julia

Quote from: Julia1996 on August 08, 2017, 05:26:35 PM
For me it means being the person I was meant to be.
Julia

this ^

Freedom. Not feeling shackled to a dead end life. Being who I was meant to be

I'm loving the replies, and I share the sense of freedom this has brought/is bringing me.  But I think I was thinking more on the lines of what you see being a woman is.  Becoming the gender we feel ourselves to be is so liberating.

But what does being a woman, day to day, in your life and your future, with your loved ones and amongst strangers, mean?  What does it look like? 

I read an article recently telling trans women things they "should" avoid.  It was pretty blatantly misogynistic, and focused solely on a specific type of "ideal" woman that is a very small minority in the grand scheme of types of women.  Telling them not to be aggressive, don't dress in revealing clothes...things that cis women have been told for so long and are themselves breaking out of.

Where do you see yourself in the grand scheme of womanhood?

Quote from: Denise on August 08, 2017, 05:14:54 PM
Interesting question.  Tough to answer.  If you asked this to a cis person they wouldn't know how to answer it except on a superficial level.

I would say the ability to not think about my gender at all.  This is one of the aspects of transitioning that has surprised me the most.  I don't think about it on a sub conscience level at all any more.  Pre transition it was always there.  Now it's not. 

The change in my mental state is amazing. 

To answer a slightly different question "what does it mean to be cis?" Is "sub conscience peace about gender."

Thank you for asking.  It helped me to put my thoughts in perspective.

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I love this!  And you're welcome, for sure.  We have so many thoughts and feelings that we sometimes forget how to put it into words.  Articulating what being a woman is for someone who is newly entering womanhood as an already developed adult is something that cis women will never be able to do. 

And my god, the mental changes have been palpable.  It's incredible!

Interesting question. For me it means not having to think what should have been. It means there are more options. It means I can express myself in any way and not have to have society look down on me for not bein masculine enough. It means happiness but there is a price. My family won't look at me the same way. Neither will some friends. I'm fine with this. The ones that are by my side are what's important.

Quote from: RobynTx on August 08, 2017, 06:14:01 PM
Interesting question. For me it means not having to think what should have been. It means there are more options. It means I can express myself in any way and not have to have society look down on me for not bein masculine enough. It means happiness but there is a price. My family won't look at me the same way. Neither will some friends. I'm fine with this. The ones that are by my side are what's important.

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing

And congrats on (almost) hitting two weeks on hormones!!

Oh,

so if i say, having  door opened for me, and then choosing whether to be insulted at being seen to need it opening for me, or to be happy at the act of kindness?

To be stereotyped and happy at being treated like a woman. And also being unhappy at not being treated as an individual.

To be asked to help carry things, and then have people take said things off of me and not pick something else up themselves?

That kind of thing?

I'm hoping that this question also applies some way to us men. ☺

For me, it means I can be the physically strong person I've always been amd not have someone think badly of me.  I can open doors for ladies and pull out chairs at restaurants for my lady friends and not be stared at. 

To be able to be the polite man that my Mom taught us kids to be.

It also means that when my genderfluid boyfriend (he presents as a middle-aged woman for financial reasons) and I go out, I can be the one that's protective when we have to go into bad neighborhoods.  To be the one to do the grilling or change a tire or a million other "traditional" male roles.

Sure he's capable of doing many of these things as well, and he often does.  I'm not sexist by any stretch of the imagination, but doing these kind of things reinforces the idea that I am transitioning. 

That I am now the man I wanted to be for so long.

Ryuichi


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I can't answer that, but it feels great to be the non-binary person I am. I feel whole, and strong. I'm attractive in my own eyes for the first time in my life, and I think that makes others find me attractive, too.

I'm staying in Transgenderville, my destination does not lie at either end of the gender binary...and I'm fine with that. 

Hugs, Devlyn

At this point for me, feeling comfortable with my body is more important than whether I am a man or woman. That is my goal, and whether I end staying physically male or transition to female, I just want to be comfortable with my body. I am still seeking a therapist that my insurance will cover and have a long way to go in discovering what it will take to get me to where I need to be.

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on August 08, 2017, 07:44:07 PM
I'm hoping that this question also applies some way to us men. ☺

For me, it means I can be the physically strong person I've always been amd not have someone think badly of me.  I can open doors for ladies and pull out chairs at restaurants for my lady friends and not be stared at. 

To be able to be the polite man that my Mom taught us kids to be.

It also means that when my genderfluid boyfriend (he presents as a middle-aged woman for financial reasons) and I go out, I can be the one that's protective when we have to go into bad neighborhoods.  To be the one to do the grilling or change a tire or a million other "traditional" male roles.

Sure he's capable of doing many of these things as well, and he often does.  I'm not sexist by any stretch of the imagination, but doing these kind of things reinforces the idea that I am transitioning. 

That I am now the man I wanted to be for so long.

Ryuichi


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It absolutely applies to men!  I included that in the post's title, but it did end up focusing on women throughout.  I must say, your words speak so loudly, and thank you for sharing.  It feels amazing to have felt certain ways and not able to be fully comfortable expressing yourself, and then to be able to rewrite your code so that you fit the way you feel...this is priceless.  So glad you're feeling this freedom <3

Much love,
Aria

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 08, 2017, 08:05:17 PM
I can't answer that, but it feels great to be the non-binary person I am. I feel whole, and strong. I'm attractive in my own eyes for the first time in my life, and I think that makes others find me attractive, too.

I'm staying in Transgenderville, my destination does not lie at either end of the gender binary...and I'm fine with that. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Thank you for this as well, Devlyn!  I was wrong in presenting the question to one or the other side, and wasn't thinking about the non-binary folks.  Feeling how you feel is what we all hope for in this journey we take.

I myself have been considering the term "multigender" as of late.  Funny how we can see a specific destination but then find a truer purpose in between.  Being who we are and finding the joy in that is worth so much more than anything else.

Much love,
Aria

Ingenious freedom regardless of the negative setback from societies indoctrination of their upbringing media fed selves. Sure we would all like to pass, but in all honesty, we don't sleep with the ones giving/passing judgment on us, so f*** them. It's your life, it's now or never, cause we aren't going to live forever. YOLO. Being an atheist has helped me mentally, no worries about curtain things I'm not going into on here right now for obvious reasons.
Love yourself so you can better love the world.

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For me, being a woman is all about being a woman. I know that sounds stupid, but my sense of self is now much more at ease with the world. I am calm and I feel normal. The day I woke from gender surgery, my gender dysphoria was completely gone.

It had nothing to do with clothes or makeup. It was definitely a sense of inner being. I am happy with myself.

It feels like finally putting the square peg into the square hole after years of trying to cram it into the round one.

Ultimately, though, it means:
- Being able to leave the house in whatever I want to wear like any other dude without having to put an exhausting amount of thought into 'passing gimmicks'.
- Not being given strange looks when I hold doors open for people.
- Being able to enjoy and engage in any hobby of my choosing without giving a second thought to its gender attachment.
- Being mentally free enough to have a normal string of thoughts without obsessing over my gender or how others are perceiving my gender.
- Lifting weights, exercising and getting the results I always wanted.
- Looking at other men in the eyes and finally feeling that subtle but poignant mutual respect I never experienced before.
- Peace from those feelings of smallness/insignificance/weakness that plagued me my entire life.
- Never, ever being asked if I need help carrying, loading or moving anything because I physically appear more than capable.

I'm not really sure. I guess mostly I just want my mind & body to be at peace with each other.