I believe  most of the homophobic prop in society put trans gay lesbian cross dressors  and child milestones in the same category. Oh and mental I'll.                                                                                               

Yesterday at my therapy session I explained how my wife's family has lesbians, child molester, rapist, transgender FTM  and multiple suicides,lots of drug use and alcoholism. My wife thinks of me as her rock her trophy of normality  and then I come out and tell her about me. Talk about guilt. In her family grandpa raped multiple daughters,(wife's aunts ) grandpa and two uncles commented suicide. Cousin raped cousin which led to lesbianism and the need for transition. A cousin who forced himself on another boy and story made the front page of the local paper. Another cousin who mulested his daughters and nices and my wife who was touch in appropriately by the only uncle still alive when she was young.

It's a lot, then there's my family not perfect but more society approving.

I'm so at conflict one side so excited to be me no holding back, scared but willing to push all limits. Then there's other me conservative, protective,worried about image wanting to be the rock for my wife. Not sure I even have a question to ask the group. Thank you for letting me voice.

People*

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this.  We are more like damned if we do, damned if we don't.  In order to make ourself happy we get to make some people unhappy and if we try to make others happy we leave ourselves unhappy.  There is no pleasing everyone.  Geesh, I sound like a fortune cookie.

LGBT and rapists/child molestors are not in the same category.


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I know this i feel society throws them all together.

I don't think that society does so. Rapists and child molesters are forcing their desires on people who cannot defend themselves. It's not only criminal but immoral act. LGBT on another hand don't force themselves on no one, other than other willing participants.

Sorry, but the world can see Jews and nazis in the same categories, but don't try to mix them up to their face.


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Ok I work with a group of conservative homophobic's. I had a debate with one about Target allowing transgender to use the bathroom of their choosing. He choose to boycott  Target because he's afraid his 5 year old son may be exposed/ harmed etc.... I argued first of all a transgender might seek privacy in a stall, also he wouldn't  even know in some cases. Just saying ignorate people like my co-worker dont put any thought into it they just lob everyone into the same category.  If your interaction is with more intelligent people your very lucky.

The real problem is fear and ignorance. Personally I don't judge a person until I know them well enough to know what they are like. If I see good in them, I become close to them. If I see bad in them, I maintain my distance. Sometimes I can judge them in a few minutes and other times it takes far longer.

Many of the people who are difficult either have been raised on misinformation causing their judgements to be incorrect or don't want to take the time to make a proper assessment of the person they are meeting. In your family you have some bad apples but that isn't you. You are your own person and hopefully your wife can separate the label from the person that you have always been. Remember that you have always been transgender but your wife didn't know about it till now. Does exposing a little more of the truth make you a different person? I say no.

Quote from: Jazmine on August 15, 2017, 12:15:06 PM
I believe  most of the homophobic prop in society put trans gay lesbian cross dressors  and child milestones in the same category. Oh and mental I'll.                                                                                               

Yesterday at my therapy session I explained how my wife's family has lesbians, child molester, rapist, transgender FTM  and multiple suicides,lots of drug use and alcoholism. My wife thinks of me as her rock her trophy of normality  and then I come out and tell her about me. Talk about guilt. In her family grandpa raped multiple daughters,(wife's aunts ) grandpa and two uncles commented suicide. Cousin raped cousin which led to lesbianism and the need for transition. A cousin who forced himself on another boy and story made the front page of the local paper. Another cousin who mulested his daughters and nices and my wife who was touch in appropriately by the only uncle still alive when she was young.

It's a lot, then there's my family not perfect but more society approving.

I'm so at conflict one side so excited to be me no holding back, scared but willing to push all limits. Then there's other me conservative, protective,worried about image wanting to be the rock for my wife. Not sure I even have a question to ask the group. Thank you for letting me voice.

Hi Jazmine,

I sympathize with your situation.  My wife has a very interesting family too, not nearly as bad as your wife's, but still lots of problems growing up.  Her parents were terrible alcoholics.  I won't discuss the other family members and cousins except to say prison was involved. 

She always liked how stable my family was in comparison.  She too depended on me as her rock.  She has known that I've struggled with being transgender for the 30 years of our relationship.  Does she like it?  No.  Has it been easy?  No.  I've started low dose E about a year ago, I've been going to a therapist for at least 4 years.  We have started seeing her therapist together recently.

I don't have any easy answers for you but you really can't live your life for her.  You need to be allowed to be yourself or you'll probably get really resentful as you get older.  I think you need to talk to a gender therapist to help you evaluate your situation. 

Take care,
Paige

Thank you, all of this insite helps

This how the law view lgbtq+ in my homophobic/transphobic country and consider us like criminals and put us with rapists and child molesters

In USA there is tv about child molester called to catch predators where the program staff post as small children to catch the predators
Here they do the same expect with lgbtq+ the police go online
As adult lgbtq+ person looking for date their goal is to catch LGBTq+ and arrest them for homosexuality and transsexuality

They don't care to know the difference for them as long as you are not cis gender straight person you are worthless and breaking their "laws"

The sad thing is here families  would want their sons to become a real criminals or drug addicts and not turn to be trans or gay

Normal is your problem.

Normal is an Idea, Present a new idea.
Show your wife your still normal :p

Rock of solidarity? I'm transitioning and I haven't changed one bit.