Quote from: Sam79 on August 18, 2017, 03:02:02 AM
In short how did you do it?
I agree with what many of the others have said... always assume when you tell one person whom you trust that you may be telling the world.
It's not that there isn't a time to risk telling a secret with the hope you have a true friend... I personally think it's great to take a dip into that pond when you feel it's right. The question for each is what does "when you feel it's right" mean? I don't think it means when you feel exhilarated or euphoric in early transitional stages (which it sounds like you're beyond). Those moments can affect one's perception into having them over commit and trust too early and/or with the wrong people.
I think some transitioners can share too hastily with the notion there's ultimately nothing wrong with it, and so-n-so is trustworthy, but are disillusioned afterwards. Being patient, working to summon wisdom, is really the way. It sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.
I was personally petrified at early times in my transition, while also possessing spurts of an ever-growing "who cares?" attitude. It's as if my way forward was to deal with my fear by taking dives that scared me but I knew I wanted to be past the fears because... after all... what's the big deal anyway? In all cases, though, I always figured if the world knew, who cares?
Another way to express my experience here is, even though I had fears and therefore sort of really cared and was scared about who knew, I found myself taking action and dealing with those fears by accepting the world knew. I feel I'm fairly strong against marginalization and that sort of thing... so my litmus test for when to take dives of sharing could be more haphazard... I don't need anybody who's a jerk amidst my truth despite my having fears of experiencing those theoretical "jerks" thinking such of me... I think generally nobody wants to be disliked by others... it can be a scary prospect...
Anyway, the "who cares" attitude in me grew larger and larger and won over time yet I've had down times from the part of me who cared what others think... those have so far been fewer than the wins... at least so far...
I think folks need to be honest about what they can handle... and perhaps a good way might be to ask how you'd feel if your supposed trusting friend turned out to be completely untrusting. If you see a way of managing that, then it's probably okay to share. I think the real problem comes from folks sharing too much in a hasty manner perhaps founded on early transition euphoria... a great day has them telling the world and then they wake up and see who is who... so to speak. It sounds like you're considering things carefully so I see that's not you.
Best of luck with it... sounds like you're going to be just fine.