Let me share to you my story...
I wanted to be a girl since age 4, seriously started of thinking doing SRS since 2001(13 years ago when I was 18) but failed at every attempt. In 2004 I discovered Chettawut's website and kept on hovering over it since then every month as inspiration till I now I finally managed to do it reaching 31 years old. I'm origin of a 3rd world country where people treat transsexuals like animals on the streets, where they throw stones and projectiles on you whenever they feel like doing it. They mock you and call you a 'man' 'creature' and all derogatory words equivalent to 'fa**ot'. Police don't do anything to defend you.
I've studied up to University and had a great paying job as a guy but it all suddenly crumbled ever since I decided to transtition in mid 2009. I lost my job, kicked out from house of my family, lost all my friends and I was left all alone and when I say alone is 100% alone. My only support was Susans forum and the girls that time, I had another account/nick back then. In my country there is no therapists or endocrinologist for transsexuals and it's an embarassment to go to a doctor. I read the entire HRT section on Susans dating upto 2007 and this great website for transgender
http://www.transgendercare.com to guide me more. So I started self medicating as I had no choice.
The average salary of people in my country is 200$(U.S) and at that point it was impossible whatsoever to have SRS even I worked uptil 30 years in my country.As I was brutally fired from work due to my transitioning, I had no choice of how to survive and fell into street prostitution. I'd rather die than detransition. Living one day more as a man would have made me sick. During end of 2009 a gang of ->-bleeped-<- prostitutes tried to kill me cos clients seem to be liking me more than them. In trying to defend myself I was borderline going to kill her myself but she managed to run away. A police who liked me and was my sort of sexbuddy saw me running with a knife told me he doesn't wanna see me on the street and go do this in night clubs, casinos, internet and streets was not my level. Then I started sending my C.V to find a normal job as a transsexual, I was fortunate to get a decent job which lasted 1 year and a half cos the employer was an open minded person who lived in Europe. But my path was still trepidant day to day. I was pretty but semi-passable cos of my very prominent adam's apple that made me get clocked. So my turmoil continued but thanks god I was then secured at least financially.
I saved money over and year and a half and fled to Europe end of 2011 and asked politcal asylum but was rejected. I love the country I am, my soul is so compatible to european culture. Ever since I stepped over europe not a single day I've been insulted on the streets, they are all so busy in city to stare at you weirdly like in my country. Gay marriage is legal and people very open minded. So ever since I lived without paper and searched for a lawyer to fight my case in the supreme country and even till now 2014 it's still on going. I provided all proof possible that I was in physical danger and death threats in my country.
My life in europe was not bread and butter neither. Despite my high qualifications it was impossible to get a normal decent job without work permit and social security coverage, so again I had to be an escort to survive in 2012/2013. But I was doing it just 5 days end of months just to pay my rent, food and transport. During my path in escorting I met with a super rich sugar daddy who paid my boobs.
In 2013 that same sugar daddy paid my nose but then I unfortunately I lost him due to some problems. Then I felt stranded cos he was the only one who could help me transform.
In January 2014 thanks god I got a very well-paying job (3000€/month) black job but that requires my skill and completely stopped escorting plus I fell deeply in love with my housemate who happens to be a transphobic and every time he tried to touch me down I escaped with my excuses as in my culture we need to be virgin till marrriage etc but if you want you can do anal and I'd always find a way to secure a strap my junk between my legs in case ->-bleeped-<- happens. I'd hide my adam's apple with scarf as fortunately it was winter and lucky to flee sharp just when summer was about to begin. He set the line clearly from the beginning he didn't want to be in relationship with me but every night he would search me to make love with him, so to me I took it for granted he was boyfriend whatsoever cos for 6 months almost everyday we sleep together even we each have our own room. I managed to retain him like this for 6 months till I managed to have SRS this month.
Conclusion: Me from my departing point from 2001, thinking from that point it was impossible whatsoever for me to even think of SRS BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT POSITIVELY AND SAID TO MYSELF 'I DON'T WHEN AND HOW I'M GONNA HAVE BUT I'M GONNA HAVE IT'. If you really are determined to have it, think and think positively NO MATTER HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT LOOKS RIGHT NOW AT YOUR CURRENT STANDING POINT, the law of universe will find a way to attract your goal to you. It might take years and years but to happen it'll definitely happen if you are really determined. Just keep on thinking positively, be patient and you're gonna have it. I waited for 13 years and I finally did it and I inspire all pre-op sisters who are suffering of severe dysphoria to be patient and continue thinking positively no matter what.
