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Just came out to my 86 year old parents

Started by Kendra, July 16, 2017, 06:55:37 PM

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steph2.0



Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Kendra

Quote from: Laurie on August 23, 2017, 02:16:15 AM
Yeah them wild animals wandering around there just don't follow the rules of engagement at all.

Hugs,
   Laurie
I hear that's what Moni said when Laurie showed up.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Laurie

Quote from: Kendra on August 24, 2017, 12:07:10 PM
I hear that's what Moni said when Laurie showed up.
Where's my like button? [emoji106]

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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HappyMoni

Kendra,
   You have lost control of your thread. What do Klingons have to do with telling your parents? Are you like half Vulcan or something? How are things with the parents?
Moni
PS Never talk Klingons with someone who wipes behinds for a living.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
  •  

LizK

Quote from: Kendra on August 21, 2017, 11:02:50 PM
Today, five weeks after coming out to my parents the three of us saw the total eclipse.  Perfect weather and
Kendra



Its been awhile since I caught up with the lunacy here...sounds like you had a great time away and good you are able to have the interaction with your parents. Glad you had such a great time and a fantastic pic as well
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

Kendra

Yes ;) even with the forum lunacy we had an incredible trip, and for the final stretch drove from the northeast corner of Yellowstone over a crazy-high 11,000 foot (3,300m) mountain pass and stayed in Billings Montana.  And then from there back to Washington State mostly on scenic back roads.  I arrived home today after dropping them off and spending the night at their place. 

This morning I explained why I never had to shave this trip - or at all for more than a year.  Electrolysis was a foreign concept to my dad but I figured my mom would have at least heard about it at some point during her long lifetime, and she had no idea such a thing existed.  They were both startled when I explained electrolysis was invented more than 100 years ago.  (Notice I didn't say shocked, that would be too cheap a pun.)   

Moni, LOL - squeaky clean as usual.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Laurie

#106
 Hi Kendra,


   I love when you take about your parents and it's great that you are able to see them as often as you do. Having them accept you as they have obviously done strengthens you and your conviction to who you are. I am sure it has been a huge culture shock for them. Being able to explain what is going on within you not only enlightens them, but helps you to better understand yourself.
  Not that you did not have a sound understanding of yourself before. I discovered this in you when we met and admired you for it.   But I am also sure you have some small hidden cracks that can use sealing. If and when you need someone too hold your cement slurry for you while you work please remember my number. I probably can't do much more than that but I'm willing to try.

Hugs,
   Laurie

  (note to self: Kendra is a good name yes but not appropriate for conversation.... must think of an appropriate nickname... possibly Kenundra? Has possibilities)
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

Kendra

Oh no... there goes Lauree mangling names again. ;) I hope you don't get to my parents before I ask them to choose my new middle name.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Laurie

Quote from: Kendra on August 25, 2017, 12:43:58 PM
Oh no... there goes Lauree mangling names again. ;) I hope you don't get to my parents before I ask them to choose my new middle name.


Now Kenundra, you know a nickname is a term of endearment.

Your parents are safe for now I only have a general idea of their location....

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

JulieOnHerWay

Quote from: Laurie on August 25, 2017, 02:28:59 AM
  (note to self: Kendra is a good name yes but not appropriate for conversation.... must think of an appropriate nickname... possibly Kenundra? Has possibilities)
Kenundrum
Kenabunkport
Kendollbabe
Kendo  and variances
Obe Wan...

run Julie run
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steph2.0

Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on August 25, 2017, 10:45:02 PM
Kenundrum
Kenabunkport
Kendollbabe
Kendo  and variances
Obe Wan...


It's certainly a Kenundra conundrum.

Staph, I mean Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
  •  

Laurie

Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on August 25, 2017, 10:45:02 PM
Kenundrum
Kenabunkport
Kendollbabe
Kendo  and variances
Obe Wan...

run Julie run

That's the spirit Julie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

Laurie

Quote from: Steph2.0 on August 25, 2017, 10:48:32 PM
It's certainly a Kenundra conundrum.

Staph, I mean Steph

   Kenundra = Female form of conundrum.

;D

Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

JulieOnHerWay

Quote from: Laurie on August 25, 2017, 11:19:08 PM
   Kenundra = Female form of conundrum.

;D

Laurie
Kenundra = tundra in Kenada  or is it Kenya

Kendra tell your parents we are glad they accepted things so well and I, FOR ONE, am sorry we have just so completely hijacked your wonderful thread.  Well not really too sorry.  But a happy ending is good.
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Kendra

It's all good - this thread is for everyone (even crazy moderators).  No Keniption fit here.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Kendra

When I came out to my parents in mid July I didn't bring up my new first name.  I would have, but my gender therapist suggested don't try to do everything at once - break it into easier to digest pieces.  I also considered bringing up the name topic during our road trip to see the eclipse and several national parks but didn't want the risk.  But I can't wait too long.  I saw them this weekend and really enjoyed the time together.  We looked through pictures of the recent trip. 

So I told them my first name is Kendra and explained why.  Maybe I am unusual but my birth name (Ken) doesn't bother me at all, it just needs a tune-up.  I told them I will actually miss the fact Ken is a Japanese name and has a Kanji character, a name that fits both cultures.  I know this might sound trivial but considering how carefully they picked my name I was worried they might get offended.  No worries, they understood and are totally fine with it.  Huge sigh of relief for me. 

So next step.  I told my parents I want them to choose my middle name, and no rush - take your time.  I expected them to come up with something Japanese as a counterpart to Kendra.  I figured my mom would find something and my dad would go along with it. 

To my shock my dad immediately answered "Faye. Your middle name should be Faye with an e."  I was unprepared for that so I blurted out - I reminded him he hates that name.  He said no not at all - he likes it as a female name.  I'll explain.

My father's middle name is Fay.  In school during the 1930s and 40s he was teased incessantly about his name - a translation of Fairy.  Fay was supposedly the male form of Faye but that didn't matter - I have always known him to answer "F" when people ask for his middle name.  When people ask what does "F" stand for his answer is "F" and the edge in his voice implies don't ask a third time.  I haven't heard my dad say this name in almost half a century, and this is the first time I heard him say it with kindness.

My mom thinks it's a great idea.  Done.

I thanked them and kept my composure pretty much.  I really cried later. 

My next endocrinologist appointment is at the end of this month.  I'm going to bring the forms to get my drivers license and passport updated.

Kendra Fay F0wles
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Artesia

You missed that "e" on your signature.  I like Faye, it suits you. :icon_yes:

I like the Gaelic spelling, but that doesn't work for names.

Just don't use "Fey" that translated to some Germanic languages means "fated to die". :icon_yikes:
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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steph2.0

Quote from: Kendra on September 04, 2017, 06:22:32 PM

When I came out to my parents in mid July I didn't bring up my new first name...

So I told them my first name is Kendra and explained why.  Maybe I am unusual but my birth name (Ken) doesn't bother me at all, it just needs a tune-up.

Kendra Fay F0wles


Your parents are awesome, Kendra Faye.

Like you, I don't have a problem with my given name (Stephen, usually shortened to Steve), and feminizing it makes everything easier.

By coincidence, when your update arrived I was just finishing an email update on my life to my Mom, and decided to push the envelope a little by ending with this:

Quote

And here's another baby step. I'm signing off as:

Steph


Signing off...

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Kendra

Artesia I can't believe I just typed Fay instead of Faye... that's pretty funny.  I guess in my mind it really is my dad's middle name but with an adjustment for me (hold still for easy-chair electrolysis, add a bit of HRT). 

Steph, awesome!

Alright I'll spell my own name correctly.  I better get it right on my passport, those are expensive to reprint.

Kendra Faye F0wles
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
  •  

steph2.0

Quote from: Steph2.0 on September 04, 2017, 06:47:29 PM

I was just finishing an email update on my life to my Mom, and decided to push the envelope a little by ending with this:

And here's another baby step. I'm signing off as:

Steph


Oh jeeze, I got a reply already:

Quote

Please keep us updated and remember we love you!!!!!  It will take some time for me to call you Steph - but I can do it.


Cue the ocular leakage...

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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