I am sitting here sobbing as I am tired of life. It is just the one thing after the other thing. I left my job two months ago because I had a boss that was coming on to me. I then decided to try freelancing boy did that not work out. I just can't get a job as a freelancer. Now I am stuck here broke can't even go to my child tomorrow for her birthday. My boyfriend is pushing me to get a job now also.

The one thing is I just break down when I have a job. I think the being transgender having depression and anxiety and then coping with the stresses of a job, boss and all that just overloads me and I end up breaking down. This became apparent after my own business failed for this reason and I broke down at the job after that and the one where my boss came on to me. I just feel I can't do it again. I know we need the money. But breaking down and going down that hole again. It is a deep dark place. I just don't have the capacity to cope with everything it is just too much variables.

Now my ex is on my case because I am struggling to pay maintenance also. I just don't know how I am going to cope with it all. I just don't know how I can do all this and have a full time job. It is just going to fail miserably like the past times.

Hey Amore

I wish I had an easy solution for you but I don't. To me it sounds like you are in a really difficult position. I would not want to go back to work if the boss was coming on to me either. Is it a situation where you are able to get help about what your boss has done? I am not sure what avenues are open to you as regards harassment of you by your boss but most larger companies at least have a set out way of dealing with these kinds of issues.

Having depression and anxiety are going to make things so much worse..my daughter suffers from anxiety and I see what it does to her so I can only imagine adding depression on top would make life even harder for you.

You will cope with it, its going to tough, maybe not even very pleasant but you will make it through. Sounds like the first thing you need is some help with your anxiety and depression. Have you spoken to your Dr about this? Is it worth while finding someone to have some talk therapy with. Friends you can talk to?

I hope some of this has helped...have a big hug from me, I hope you get on top of things soon.

Maybe time to think about a career change? Perhaps too much baggage from the past for you to deal with today. Perhaps time for new or different challenges? Or, just giving yourself a break from "challenges" and do something mindless?

You have so much going for you today when you look back at how things were for you a year or two ago. There must be something about your work that triggers the meltdowns. Avoidance is a good place to start while you sort out how to actually fix the issue.  You know how. Sort of like avoiding the whole trans thing for years untill finally sorting out how to start fixing it

I think your relatives really need to step in here. This is a crisis.

I thought about why the meltdowns happen a lot and it looks like it is stress related.

Quote from: JMJW on August 27, 2017, 07:40:23 AM
I think your relatives really need to step in here. This is a crisis.

I wish my relatives can help. Most of have their own problems. They don't have money to help. The ones that has the money to help is too stingy and also don't support me as I am transgender.They want to see me struggle and fail as they hope it will cure me and make me go back to being male.

Hello,

I don't know if I can help you, but I want to try.
Try to keep sailing in this tempest. I can understand what you say about your relatives: we must remember also, unfortunately, that someone is not ready to go through all the steps of acceptance, and there is people as sensitive as you can be that struggles with even small things and changes in their lives.
It is though, but keeping going is the only thing one can do in some moments.
This said, all can be justified to a certain extent. And abuse can't be justified, ever.

About job... I can understand you. I also thought I was the only one... I don't have solutions still, but I think I feel how you feel.

About your child, if you can't go this doesn't mean you can't be with her. Write her, even a sentence on a piece of paper will find later, or sending her a present or something, or a call. It is of immense value, believe me.

A big hug, and good luck my friend!

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