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I'm too big!!

Started by Jenny94, August 31, 2017, 07:01:43 PM

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Jenny94

Ladies...I cannot tell you how much your response means to me. I've spent the last twenty hours feeling more or less like dying, because there was no hope I'd ever make it as a woman in the world. This is corny, but with your wealth of examples, stories and encouragement, you've given me back my faith in myself, and this time I won't let the bastards take it away quite so easily. I may inbox a few of you if you don't mind?

L x
"Now I'm dancing with Delilah and her vision is mine" - Florence and the Machine.
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Nora Kayte

I don't mind. If you want.


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Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
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echo7

Yea it is ok to be tall as a trans woman, but also being overweight is just really bad.  Fortunately you can control your weight so that is something you can fix.

Someone mentioned Laverne Cox earlier in this thread.  Yes she is tall at 5' 11" but she also has a slim 29" waist.  If you want to rock a tall height, you also have to get your weight under control.
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Sarah77

I feel your pain. 5'11 and broad shoulders. Would need to be 2 stone lighter to help pass..which i just can't manage.
Makes you wanna cry..and eat!
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Rowena_Ellenweorc

Hope you don't mind me interjecting here since I'm the opposite side of the spectrum in oh so many ways.  Even for someone born female, I'm short at 5'2".  If I remember correctly the average american female is... 5'5" I want to say? Now as someone who wants to transition -- I'd make a freakishly short guy.  I often think about how two of my best friends (male) in high school were barely a couple inches taller than me. But even that doesn't help.  So what does help? This is going to sound REALLY nerdy/geeky but hey.
I watch/read a lot of anime and manga. If you know anything about these genres, you know there's strong character types that run prominent through them. If you want a good idea of how it works, watch the first episode of Ouran Host High hahaha. I feel like that's probably a good visual of a lot if not all the character types. (Can't remember who it is but one of the people here actually uses one of the characters as a profile picture...) So I picture myself as the loli character (In fact the very character the person I mention above has as their profile pic LOL).  Weirdly, this actually helps.
I don't know if there's something like that you can find to help boost your confidence and say, 'Hey, I'm beautiful, sexy, and I love myself this way,' but its worth a shot.

Also to the poster who referenced 'Born This Way'... I freakin love you lol.  That's my anthem lately (and my two year old's. She's obsessed with Lady Gaga.  Not sure whether or not I should be proud of that LOL)
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems
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I Am Jess

Here is a little glimpse of how I have transformed myself over the last 2 1/2 years.  Have faith and have confidence in who you are and you can make it happen.

Follow my life's adventures on Instagram - @jessieleeannmcgrath
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Gertrude

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on August 31, 2017, 10:23:34 PM
I'm 6'5¼", 260 lbs, a size 14/16, women's size 13W shoe. So no your not too big. It takes time and proper mannerisms, voice, and confidence goes a long way. It's been over 3 years since I've been misgendered by anyone who didn't know me before I transition.

The tallest cis woman I've ever met in person is Lindsaey Hayward who is 6'9" and has been on TLC's my giant life. I talked with her for several minutes and she also had broader shoulders than me too.
I'm surprised you're 14/16 at 260.


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Ryuichi13

Face it. Height can't be changed much.  At 5'7&1/3"/171cm, I'm a lot shorter than most of the lovely ladies in my local trans adult group.  But I also recognise that there are men that are even shorter and women that are taller than I. 

Do I care?  Not really.

I carry myself like a man, many of my (learned) mannerisms are male, I dress male and even though my dreadlocks are shoulder-length, I can say that for all intents and purposes, I act and (probably) look like a man. 

I think that its not about "how tall/short you are,"  "how thin/chubby you are," nor even about "the lack of/despite having facial hair." 

Its all about loving who you are and how confident you are in your own skin.

So go forth as yourself, act like you own the world and love yourself, because each and every one of us are beautiful/handsome women and men, well-deserving of love and respect.

With love and respect for every single one of you,

Ryuichi

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RobynD

The best we can often do is the best we can do (with whatever genetic hand of cards we were dealt). That does not take away from the feelings about it all though. Those are very valid.

I'm 5'9", it definitely feels tall but my shoe size is size 10 ladies for that i am thankful. I have at least 3 girlfriends that are taller than me and in general our species females seem to be getting both taller and evolving with larger feet. What i try and focus on is what my assets are and then secondly, things that are changeable. That has helped me.


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Dena

Quote from: Leila94 on September 01, 2017, 10:32:37 AM
I may inbox a few of you if you don't mind?
I don't consider my account to be personal. It exist for the benefit of Susan and the members of the site so all members may contact me any time they wish without asking permission. I sometimes get snowed under but I will respond when I can.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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myraey

I'm 6 feet and have extremely broad shoulders. I have small hands and a very curvy waist and rear. Average feet for a male but very large for a female. No hormones I was always more curvy than many females. It's my strongest asset. The fat ends up in the gut male wise. I look like a pear then. The shoulders are a bigger issue for me than my height. I am a v-shape. It depends on many things. Look at the combination.
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Janes Groove

Try to bear in mind that the first daughter, Ivanka Trump is 6' tall.  And she wears heels ALL THE TIME.   
I don't think anybody would argue that she is quite beautiful.

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Sydney_NYC

Quote from: Gertrude on September 01, 2017, 03:28:05 PM
I'm surprised you're 14/16 at 260.


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A lot of people are surprised. Most of my weight is in my thighs and butt plus I'm pretty tall at 6'5¼". My goal is to get down to at least a size 12, or at least 220. My legs are pretty solid, but do have a nice feminine shape. I've always had a feminine shape from the waist down since puberty and was teased about in the boys locker room in high school.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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Gertrude

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 02, 2017, 12:40:28 AM
A lot of people are surprised. Most of my weight is in my thighs and butt plus I'm pretty tall at 6'5¼". My goal is to get down to at least a size 12, or at least 220. My legs are pretty solid, but do have a nice feminine shape. I've always had a feminine shape from the waist down since puberty and was teased about in the boys locker room in high school.

I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.
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staciM

Quote from: Janes Groove on September 01, 2017, 06:15:07 PM
Try to bear in mind that the first daughter, Ivanka Trump is 6' tall.  And she wears heels ALL THE TIME.   
I don't think anybody would argue that she is quite beautiful.

I've read she's not nearly as tall as 6', closer to 5'9-5'10.....and FWIW, she's becoming less attractive almost on a weekly basis ;)
- Staci -
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J2J

I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point, literally all my other body proportions are fine, I have pretty small feet for a guy, people have even pointed it out to be before when I had to size up for an old job which required steel toecap boots.

I've browsed this site before - https://www.celebheights.com/s/180Female.html

You put in your height and it tells you which celebrities are the same height as you.

I'd probably be fine with 5'10 but you can't change your height... people tell me I am lucky to be 6ft because it's the height that most men want to be, still cringe every time friends call me "big guy"  :embarrassed:
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staciM

Quote from: J2J on September 02, 2017, 07:41:05 PM
I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point....

I felt this way for many many years, and it was the main reason I delayed in proceeding with transition.  However, it got to point that it stopped mattering as much because the alternative of not doing anything and living a miserable, depressing and unfulfilled life was much worse than being a tall woman. 

If it's in you, you will likely come to the same decision. 
- Staci -
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Sydney_NYC

Quote from: Gertrude on September 02, 2017, 06:01:18 PM
I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.

Because of Kleinfelter's I had more of a feminine shape even before HRT. I have a 37" inseam. When I was 230 (pre-transition), I had a 36" Waist, 42" hips, and 38" chest. I was at 255 when I started transitioning and didn't have any upper body muscle to lose. The only muscle I had was in my legs.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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Gertrude

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 02, 2017, 09:47:09 PM
Because of Kleinfelter's I had more of a feminine shape even before HRT. I have a 37" inseam. When I was 230 (pre-transition), I had a 36" Waist, 42" hips, and 38" chest. I was at 255 when I started transitioning and didn't have any upper body muscle to lose. The only muscle I had was in my legs.

That explains a lot and it goes to show people can be similar heights and sometimes weight and be different.


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DawnOday

Quote from: Gertrude on September 02, 2017, 06:01:18 PM
I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.
I am originally 6' 5" now down to 6'3 and shrinking. My highest weight was 296 lbs. I now hover around 220 lbs. It really was not hard to lose weight. I quit drinking soda and eating bread and instead of eating a bag of Famous Amos Cookies I now settle for one or two cookies. I cut serving sizes. Instead of eating two pork chops I now eat one,Plus a little exercise never hurts.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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