Hello. I hope this doesn't appear too strange of a question. I am about to schedule SRS for 3 months time now that everything else has fallen into place. However there is occasionally a small niggle in my mind that I don't need it.

I am currently discussing this with my therapist and it would seem this is not an unusual feeling. I stress it is very mild and not at all "I'm worried about making the wrong choice for the rest of my life". It's more that 95% of the time I feel I must fix the plumbing and occasionally I think that it has been there so long and even though I don't use it, not changing it wouldn't be the end of the word. Just living my fem life is all that is important.

Thoughts?

If just living your fem life is all that is important to you, then why bother?  Lots of pain, discomfort and expense for some that is not all that important to you.

Because 95% of the time it is really important to her.  That's enough.

Quote from: rmaddy on September 02, 2017, 10:14:44 PM
Because 95% of the time it is really important to her.  That's enough.

That is exactly the point. The vast majority of the time it is a must have. The other 5% would be put off with the pain and cost, but not at all bothered with the removal.

I guess the main question is... are my thoughts mirrored by others, perhaps those that have gone on with the surgery with no regrets.

It sounds to me like that 95% is all the reason in the world to go though with it.

I'm of the opposite camp. If this is something you aren't 100% sure of or if there any doubts going in, then you should probably do some real hard thinking before doing something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. If this is something you absolutely must do for your survival, then do it. If it is something you can live without or are indifferent about, then maybe you should seriously consider the ramifications of what you're getting yourself into.

For me, it was a do or die situation and in the 40 years since I had my surgery, I've never had doubts or second thoughts I did the right thing as it was the only thing that would have allowed me to get on with the rest of my life. If you aren't as equally committed, then I urge you to think twice about what you are doing. There's no going back and if you can live with the parts you've got, I'd say keep 'em, learn to adapt and maybe go forward in the future when there are no doubts or questions.

Conflicting but all good advice. It's good to hear both sides of the opinion.

I have hair transplant (FUE) to come in the next month. Maybe that will polarize my thoughts even more. Let's see.

Is there any way you can envision using your original equipment? Can you envision a way you would return to your original life? I felt the surgery was a dividing line between my old life and my new one. After I had surgery I no longer need to ask permission and I could live my new life free of the past. This may not be important to you but it was how I decided.

Quote from: Lisa_K on September 02, 2017, 11:46:25 PM
I'm of the opposite camp. If this is something you aren't 100% sure of or if there any doubts going in, then you should probably do some real hard thinking before doing something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.

This doesn't really compute for me.  I was raised in a conservatively religious background which taught me to be 100% certain about all sorts of things about which 100% certainty is a pipe dream.  The primary effect of losing my religion is that I no longer have such certainty or trust it in others, honestly.  Confidence is a virtue, but so is doubt.

Like the OP, I feel about 95% confident about my plan for GCS. This does not mean that the decision was easy for me.  The inherent uncertainty is sobering.  My surgery will be in about 4 months.  I would do it earlier if that were an option, but my decision is made, and it feels good, despite the fact that there will be days when I wonder what the hell I was thinking.  It is part of my nature.  Hopefully they will be few and far between.

At this point in my life, if I only did those things about which I were 100% certain, I suspect I would just lay in bed all day.  What I do know with a high degree of confidence is that the androgynous life is not for me.  I have to make a decision.  My most sincere hope is that on those occasions when post-op life is hard, I will remember that pre-op life is also hard, and that I made the best possible decision that I could make in the moment.

By the same token, can you envision yourself using your new configuration for its intended purposes?  If this rather significant surgery is something you cannot live without, then by all means you must proceed. However if there is a way for you to feel whole and complete as you are, then as you said yourself,  why bother.

Quote from: Dena on September 03, 2017, 12:25:50 AM
Is there any way you can envision using your original equipment? Can you envision a way you would return to your original life? I felt the surgery was a dividing line between my old life and my new one. After I had surgery I no longer need to ask permission and I could live my new life free of the past. This may not be important to you but it was how I decided.

I could continue to use it, probably, but even with it I don't want to. The "meat" is just a protrusion I don't want and the "2 veg" are just plain ugly, even though they have shrunk considerably. If I looked down and they were not there, I would be both relieved and with a feeling of that's the way it was supposed to be.

Quote from: Complete on September 03, 2017, 12:38:17 AM
can you envision yourself using your new configuration for its intended purposes?

Hell yes. As others have said, I have no intention of being androgynous. I am and want to be fully active, so full function is important. If I need to be numb and "ususable" for 12 months while things heal then this is a very small price to pay for the reward.

Hi Joanne

I think I am in a similar place to you in my journey with exception of the dates(can't get mine for 12 months)...logically I could talk myself until I was blue in the face as to why I shouldn't have the surgery at my age but then there is the equally strong part of me that "Knows" surgery is the right choice for me.

From my point of view, I have trusted in my own feelings and instincts so far as wether or not to transition and in the case of surgery I have no reason to doubt that I am right in this case....The surgery is only for me, it is about that unshakeable knowledge that I am a woman and I want to feel complete. Having the nuts and bolts in place just does not feel complete or acceptable for me...I have thought about this all my life so its not like I have never considered it before. 

Quote from: ElizabethK on September 03, 2017, 05:39:52 AM
Hi Joanne

I think I am in a similar place to you in my journey with exception of the dates(can't get mine for 12 months)...logically I could talk myself until I was blue in the face as to why I shouldn't have the surgery at my age but then there is the equally strong part of me that "Knows" surgery is the right choice for me.

From my point of view, I have trusted in my own feelings and instincts so far as wether or not to transition and in the case of surgery I have no reason to doubt that I am right in this case....The surgery is only for me, it is about that unshakeable knowledge that I am a woman and I want to feel complete. Having the nuts and bolts in place just does not feel complete or acceptable for me...I have thought about this all my life so its not like I have never considered it before.

Totally agreed. I could have done this 10 years ago or maybe even 20 but for a few reasons I didn't. I could put it off for another 10 years, but I would be another 10 years older and still in exactly the same place, not happy. Age is also starting to get to the stage where major surgery should be behind me rather than in front of me. Healing time perhaps getting longer, etc etc.

For a good 50 or more years the dangly bits and I peacefully coexisted. I never had an overwhelming desire for GCS. All I ever from life was to be seen and accepted as a woman. I've been on HRT for about 8 years now. Between my age, the AA and E the dangly bits are no use to either me, or my wife. She feels a ton more strongly about me keeping them then I do. TBH - she also feels the same about me going full-time.

When I started to take on the Trans-Beast, for real, 8 years ago I was no-way, no-how was there ever going to be a third transition experiment after two utter failed ones. But life is a capricious Mistress. After a few years of healing suddenly perhaps maybe someday a full transition may not be off the table. After achieving my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman during my part-time life the possibility of a actually living and being Joanne all the time became a reality, if I needed to do it.

Needing vs Wanting is a tough thing to nail down. Especially when you have a mind like mine and lots of experience "What-if'ing" things to death for a living. Oh and through in the penchant for wanting to know, to even control, "The Future" (I have gotten much better at that point)

Do you feel that you have made a mistake about transitioning at this point?
Do you have regrets at all about a body you are mostly at peace with, even enjoy living in?
Did you ever dream.... What it would be like to have the proper plumbing?

Oh, and finally Were you never scared out of your head before even thinking of doing something about being trans, much less any for real steps like looking for a therapist?; Actually calling one?; Actually saying I am Trans?; Asking for the HRT permission slip?; Calling around for a doc who would actually give you them?. You get the point

GCS is a Big Step and warrants thought and reality checks. Beyond the no Do-Over factor and it is major surgery, is there a "Down Side"? For me, my down-side is the the same as the up-side, Having a completely female body. My wife is a very important aspect of my life. She also wants me to be happy. Breasts were a trade off. Full-time and GCS.... Today I cannot say where that road may lead given how big of an attraction I have to guys followed by where that all can lead.

Did you say that you had GCS, your wife is the hurdle to you having it or you have no plans as yet?

Quote from: JoanneW on September 03, 2017, 07:22:27 AM
Did you say that you had GCS, your wife is the hurdle to you having it or you have no plans as yet?

I haven't.... Yet. Which is a big shift from never for me. Much like the big shift in my sexuality as I figure out just what sort of a person I really am vs living up to an image.  If there wasn't an "Us" I am 50/50 on GCS, only because I am not full-time and have only a limited experience as a female living part-time. Still, there is no denying the shock and joy of being hit on my a guy, and that was before I really really started to think a lot more about having a man in my life

For me I want it 200% today before tomorrow
My desire for it goes back years and years ago
I want it for myself because I know I will be much happy and comfortable in my own body after it

Ask yourself will you feel better after it or not

I go back and forth all the time , mostly because of my age I'm 65

Let's put it this way. When I was living off the grid, a neighbor shot at me while I was on the way to the outhouse. I heard the bullet fly past my ear, and had my sidearm drawn before I heard the shot. I was at a 95% probability that I should find someplace else to live. If I had decided that not being 100% sure meant I should stay, I would be dead long before now.