Can someone come out at age of 17?

Ricider · September 04, 2017, 11:23:29 AM

So last year I told my parents that I was mtf, they seemed to be ok first but later on they were like "We made a lot of research and found out that you should have came out at age of 3-4" and they told me that they couldnt find anything feminine about me at the past whitch is partially true. So my question is if someone can turn to be transsexual at age of 17? (Sorry for my bad english)

Tessa James · September 04, 2017, 12:12:36 PM

Yes, many people realize their innate gender identity at an early age but there are no rules about age and when we get to self acceptance. Far better, in my opinion, to come out as a teenager and have a full life ahead in the gender you really are.

Appearing or acting feminine is not always the same thing as being and feeling female. Being female takes many forms.

I do want to welcome you to this Place and admire you for taking steps to liberate yourself. Its is also a bonus to have people here from all over the world representing so much global diversity.

Megan. · September 04, 2017, 12:14:05 PM

Yes, you can come out at any age, 17 is still quite young. I don't know the statistics, but aware or not, many here came out as adults (37 for me).
The idea of a 4 year old child telling their parents they are definitely the opposite gender is quite rare, but the press love it, so it's what cis-gender get fed.
Children or adolescents get told they're too young and 'it's just a phase'. Older people get told 'you never showed it as a child', we can't win

.
Forget the averages, you are an individual. X

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elkie-t · September 04, 2017, 01:42:26 PM

Some kids realize it earlier than others. Some kids are more open with their parents than the others. You need help of gender specialist and your parents aren't the ones.

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Julia1996 · September 04, 2017, 01:58:57 PM

I came out and started hrt when I was 17. There's not like a age limit on when you can come out. Actually 17 is still considered early transitioning. In my case it wasn't much of a surprise for anyone that I was trans. But it's not a requirement that you were feminine as a child to be trans. Having your parents say you aren't trans because you weren't feminine as a small child sounds to me like them grasping at straws rather than face the fact you are trans. Some parents do that. Some CIS women were masculine as small children but no one told them " you weren't feminine when you were little so you can't be a woman".

Tammy Jade · September 04, 2017, 02:41:45 PM

I started questioning my gender at about 16-17 my gender councillor told me it's quite common to begin questioning around puberty.

I then suppressed it for the next 13-14 years. I would never recommend that but unfortunately again it's all to common.

Even if your not 100% sure I would get a gender councillor and they will help you make sure and start you in the direction of hormones.

At your age you hopefully won't have had to many of the secondary sex characters fully develop which will give you a lot greater chance to pass (if that is what you want) without surgerys.

Hope this helps

Also welcome to Susan's
-Mara

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GraysonIsVeryConfused · September 04, 2017, 05:23:58 PM

It is very possible. In fact very common. The reason your parents probably say this is because many documentarys about trans kids are about kids who have known since they could speak.

Don't worry too much about made up rules about trans life. You know who you are! Trust your heart and go from there

undautri · September 05, 2017, 05:10:08 PM

My parents told me the same sort of things. "You showed no indication of being a boy," they said, "I mean, you were definitely a girl." They didn't know that people usually came out during puberty and not childhood; the media cherry picks those stories because people just eat those up.

It's pretty uncommon for kids to know they're trans and it's a coin flip on whether or not they stay trans during and after puberty. Kids are too young to see the full picture, usually, and knowing what's coming is very different to experiencing it.

There are no rules to being trans. Go see a therapist and follow what you feel and know. You might be trans, you might not be, but don't let other people outright tell you how you feel.

Charlie Nicki · September 05, 2017, 06:38:10 PM

Quote from: meganjames2 on September 04, 2017, 12:14:05 PM
Children or adolescents get told they're too young and 'it's just a phase'. Older people get told 'you never showed it as a child', we can't win .
Forget the averages, you are an individual. X

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All of this.

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Lilly G · July 08, 2018, 07:12:45 PM

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on September 05, 2017, 06:38:10 PM
All of this.

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I came out at 17 as mtf. Im still waiting on my 18th bday. But yes you can come out at 17. I actually realised my gender identity at the age of 7 and suppressed it for 10 years. This suppression led to the never showing it statement. Which is kinda ironic since i was know tp have dolls as a child and always had something of a pixie cut as a kid. My parwnts are very much anti-lgbtq but dont let others control who you are. So if you come out as trans at 17, who are they to say otherwise? Just be yourself.

Donna · July 08, 2018, 07:23:19 PM

There is no time stamp on coming out. It happens when you decide it happens.
If it wasn't for abuse i would have come 50 yrs ago. I didn't but I'm out now and that's the important part. Your parent may not have seen it but I'm sure you felt it and knew it inside you. No one can tell you how you feel inside. It's just not possible. Only you can know those thoughts and feelings