I've been living full-time for 4 months,  but still find myself holding doors open for men,  much to their slightly awkward confusion [emoji4].  How long did it take you to get used to living on the other side of societies gender stereotype?

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Quote from: meganjames2 on September 04, 2017, 12:43:40 PM
I've been living full-time for 4 months,  but still find myself holding doors open for men,  much to their slightly awkward confusion [emoji4].  How long did it take you to get used to living on the other side of societies gender stereotype?

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I think you need to get into non-compete with males mindset. What I mean, when a man and a woman come to a choke point (a door in your case), most women would consciously or subconsciously slow down to let a guy be the first, not beat him up as is usual among men. Similarly, I notice same attitude in black people toward white people, nearly universally a black person would let a white one to pass first.

I hold the door open for anyone, male or female. If someone is right behind you it's like totally rude to just let the door close in their face.

Elkie,  you maybe right,  I suspect even subconsciously I may be doing this.
Julia,  I certainly try not be rude. There are alot of corridors/doors at my office, when walking around I often get to a door the same time or just before someone going the other way. As male I would always hold the door,  but now men get visibly confused if I do this (understandably).
Sometimes it's fine,  but sometimes I still forget my presentation [emoji4].

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Where I live everyone holds the door for each other regardless of sex.


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Just try to avoid the "running to get to the door first" thing and the "holding the door for a long time" thing and you should be fine.

For the most part, in "polite Society" un narcissistic people who aren't the walking dead zombies plugged into and fixated upon the low res version of life streamed to them via the The Great God Of the Wif-Fi Electron, in other world aware that there are actual other, real people, besides their make believe "friends" in a virtual world, do take care to hold the open for others behind them

But then, "Polite-Society" is as much as pre-historic anachronism as this old dinosaur 

It does take some getting used to. Every time it happens to me, I am still wondering if it is being polite or if I had another "passing" experience. So I really try to enjoy it :-)

On the other hand I am still way to conditioned, so in many cases I will end up holding the door...

My wife helped me with stuff like this.  She told me that, while men will open the door, wait for the woman to go through, then go through themselves, women will open the door, go through it, and then hold the door behind them for the other woman.  Similarly, when unlocking our car, I used to open the passenger door first for my wife and then go around and open mine (we don't have one of those electronic clicky-box thingies).  She told me to open my door, get in, then reach across to unlock hers.

I am getting used to it.  Yesterday, we were building sets at a theatre.  I was sawing and using an electric screwdriver and stuff.  But when it came to lifting 8'x4' risers, I just stood back and let some big strong men do it for me.  In the old days, I'd have been right there lifting.  Hee-hee!

Quote from: KathyLauren on September 05, 2017, 08:17:52 PM
My wife helped me with stuff like this.  She told me that, while men will open the door, wait for the woman to go through, then go through themselves, women will open the door, go through it, and then hold the door behind them for the other woman.  Similarly, when unlocking our car, I used to open the passenger door first for my wife and then go around and open mine (we don't have one of those electronic clicky-box thingies).  She told me to open my door, get in, then reach across to unlock hers.

I am getting used to it.  Yesterday, we were building sets at a theatre.  I was sawing and using an electric screwdriver and stuff.  But when it came to lifting 8'x4' risers, I just stood back and let some big strong men do it for me.  In the old days, I'd have been right there lifting.  Hee-hee!

Some great advice,  thank you Kathy. X

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