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I came out to my boyfriend's family.

Started by Julia1996, September 16, 2017, 03:24:41 PM

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Julia1996

Hi everyone.  I had made a post about coming out to my boyfriend's parents. It was something my boyfriend thought we should do so they would be prepared in case someone I knew before transition outed me in front of them. I totally was stressing about telling them.

So, Tristan told them we had something we needed to tell them. One of his brothers said " I bet she's pregnant". Tristan told them no I wasn't pregnant. Then he told them I am transgender. It got totally quiet. They all turned and looked at me. One of his brothers sat with his mouth open for a second. Then his dad looked at me and said " you're transgender "? I told him yes I was and then it got quiet again. Then his mom said " sooo, you were born a boy"?? I told her yes I was. Then she told me she would never have known and that I was pretty and that I was a sweet girl. Then her dad asked when I had "changed" as he put it. I told him when I was 17. Then his mom and dad both started talking about how I must have felt very strongly about doing it to have done it so young and that my parents must have been sure I really wanted it to have let me do it. Then his dad said he couldn't imagine how painful that surgery had been. Obviously they thought I had had SRS already.  I certainly didn't correct them.

They had a lot of questions which I answered. His dad said everyone had problems they had to overcome and that I had overcome mine. And that was it. They didn't act different towards me or act like they didn't like me anymore. His brothers were more curious than his parents and asked lots of questions, but it didn't seem like they had a problem with anything. Tristan said none of them had said anything bad about me after I left. I really hope he is telling me the truth.

This was not something I was looking forward to doing but it went much better than I had expected. I was picturing his brothers calling me a "->-bleeped-<-" , well actually Aussies say " poofer" more than ->-bleeped-<-, and I was picturing his parents telling me to get out of their house.  Thankfully none of those things happened. Tristan told me that if he thought his family would have had a bad reaction he would never have put me in that Position. But how people react to transpeople is very unpredictable.  I'm totally glad this wasnt a trainwreck.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Katie Jade

All I can say is well done - my total admiration to you and your BF.
I need to do something similar  but I think it is likely to be different,  - but that's not my problem really it will be theirs, I have enough of my own  ;D :angel:.
Love and Hugz
Katie

Post Op Sept 2023...... that took a very long time....
  • skype:Katie Jade?call
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Charlie Nicki

That's awesome Julia! I'm glad it worked out. I've heard that Aussies are one of the most open people in the world so I guess that was true.


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Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Jessica

Julia, I am so happy for you!  What a relief it must be for you.  Is there a wedding in the future?  I think his mom would help pick out your dress.  You are so lucky to be in your boyfriends families good graces.
Hugs, Jessica 💁

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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DawnOday

So happy for you hun. I remember our first conversations. You've made a lot of progress. I like your fiestyness. Hope only good things come your way.

Dawn.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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Bari Jo

Congrats Julia!  This is proof that you are 110% passable and your boyfriends family is cool.  Damn, how many of us are super jealous of Julia?  Seriously though, you've earned this and deserve it;)
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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zirconia

Congratulations, Julia. It must be a relief to see how it went now that it's done.
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Artesia

Awesome Julia!!!  You are truly blessed with so many supporting people in your life.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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sarah1972

So happy for you! Could not have gone any better... You deserve this so much!

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Megan.

Fantastic and wonderful news. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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warmbody28

I just want to say congratulations on feeling comfortable enough to share this with your family. It's a big step and being able to be yourself with them and know they will have your back supporting you is worth the world.
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KathyLauren

I am so happy to hear that it went well, Julia!  You have some wonderful people in your life.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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SadieBlake

Such great news! I'm so glad for you. Hugs and best wishes :-)
🌈👭 lesbian, troublemaker ;-) 🌈🏳️‍🌈
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Charlotte F

What fantastic news Julia!

I can't imagine how stressed you must have been beforehand but what a brilliant outcome

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Laurie

Hi Julia,

  Add me to that list of those who think it was awesome. And though I'm personally a poor judge at predicting success or failure in coming out reactions, I do think it was a pretty safe bet it was going to be accepted pretty well if Tristin said it would be. After all he should know a bit about his family. Good for Tristin and you Julia, congrats.

  I do think you may have created a small problem down the road letting his dad believe you've had SRS already. They obviously like you and it probably would not have cauded a problem had you told them you haven't had the surgery just yet but that it is going to happen.

  You mean to tell me there is a whole Aussie family loose in Colorado?

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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The Flying Lemur

This is awesome, Julia!  So glad for you that it all went well.
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. --Joseph Campbell
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Julia1996

Thank you everyone. It is like a huge relief that they took it well. Actually I'm surprised they had such a chill reaction but totally happy they did.😊

Laurie, I thought about that after the fact. At that moment I just couldn't bring myself to tell them I hadn't had SRS yet. And Tristan didn't say anything either so I thought maybe he would prefer they not know that detail. My SRS is scheduled for next year but it will be ok because his family doesn't know how many procedures are required for the finished product. I can just say I'm having the second stage done.

Yes, a whole Aussie family is on the loose in Denver. Scary isn't it? Lol. Tristan's dad got a very good job offer here so they moved here.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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stephaniec

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Laurie

Quote from: Julia1996 on September 17, 2017, 07:31:10 PM
Thank you everyone. It is like a huge relief that they took it well. Actually I'm surprised they had such a chill reaction but totally happy they did.😊

Laurie, I thought about that after the fact. At that moment I just couldn't bring myself to tell them I hadn't had SRS yet. And Tristan didn't say anything either so I thought maybe he would prefer they not know that detail. My SRS is scheduled for next year but it will be ok because his family doesn't know how many procedures are required for the finished product. I can just say I'm having the second stage done.

Yes, a whole Aussie family is on the loose in Denver. Scary isn't it? Lol. Tristan's dad got a very good job offer here so they moved here.

  Julia, I do hope nothing goes wrong with the plan and it really shouldn't.

Let's see by my count there should be 5 of them running around Denver. Do you know if there's a bounty?

Just joking Julia,, (really)

Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Julia1996

Quote from: Laurie on September 17, 2017, 08:11:55 PM
  Julia, I do hope nothing goes wrong with the plan and it really shouldn't.

Let's see by my count there should be 5 of them running around Denver. Do you know if there's a bounty?

Just joking Julia,, (really)

Laurie

Lol, that's funny.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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