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Amazing to dismal in one fell swoop

Started by Artesia, September 18, 2017, 08:34:12 AM

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Artesia

Well, on Saturday, I had an amazing day.  I was accepted in a group as a woman, mind you we were all nerds, but a woman to them I was.  Only one person the entire day used the wrong pronouns, and only my friend of over 10 years messed up my name.

Then Sunday came, and I went a touch lighter on the eyeshadow as I felt I went to dark on Saturday.  Went shopping, and was either gendered correctly or not at all.  Until I hit Walmart.  I had to go to the restroom, and started to enter the woman's room, and one of the employees, said "Sir, Stop your going the wrong way!".  I turned around, said in my female voice I'm all woman, and I know I'm ugly. She said, okay, but didn't apologize and walked away.  The other women already in the bathroom didn't acknowledge me one way or the other.

That one instance made me feel horrible, and tarnished a beautiful weekend.  Why was that instance worse than the stray sir?
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Julia1996

I'm so sorry that happened. People can be such total butt holes. I can see why that is worse than a stray Sir. By saying that to you she was actually saying " you can't go in there because you're not a woman" . Im sorry that happened. Believe me, I know its hard but try not to let the nastiness of that ignorant boob ruin the whole weekend.

Big hugs.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Artesia

Thank you Julia!  I'll try to let the good overpower that one bad.  I have a hard time doing that.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Julia1996

Quote from: Artesia on September 18, 2017, 08:48:58 AM
Thank you Julia!  I'll try to let the good overpower that one bad.  I have a hard time doing that.

I do too. It's a lot easier to say "don't let it bother you" than actually doing it. But if I hadn't learned to do that (begrudgingly)  I would be a shut in.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Artesia

For the most part, I am a shut in.  Nearly 40 years of hating oneself will do that.  I can count on one hand he amount of times that I willingly went out of my house, over those 40 years.  I went out several times, mostly because my parents, and sister, made me.  I didn't really date anyone until late junior or early senior year of high school.  I just played assorted games, and read books.

I am trying to learn all those social skills I never learned before.

I also find it hard to believe that you had a hard time learning to ignore the bad stuff.  Almost everything I've read from you is so up beat, and when it's not, it ends pleasantly due to your supporting friends and family. 

I'm glad to have your support.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Bari Jo

Quote from: Artesia on September 18, 2017, 10:45:23 PM
I am trying to learn all those social skills I never learned before.

I'm right there with you Artesia.  I am somewhat social, only because I became good at faking it.  Now I'm relearning how to be social with hints of Bari Jo coming out.

I applaud you for going out dressed.  I haven't done that since high school.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience at he end.  Don't let that stop you though.  You will have more good ones too.

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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