I think it would be kind of fun to post a stories, from you were strangers directly helped or encouraged you and just showed human compassion and understanding.

Mine is the day i changed my name, i went to court by myself(i had no friends) and i was shaking the judge called me up and asked me 2 questions and 30 seconds later i was Lilly.  i walked out of the court room quickly overcome by emotion forgetting the papers i brought that i thought i would need.  So the bailiff retrived them and found my at the clerks office to return them.  She could tell i was freaking out and excited she hugged me and said "Congratulations"

I decided to change my name on everything in one day(Not my best idea) so i went to the only DMV that was open in my area that day.  and when i arrived and got my number i sat for 20 min having a mild panic attack( i have generalized anxiety and crowds, being far from home and talking are triggers)  i got up to the desk and this short lady asked me for the paperwork for name and gender change(Il allowed it at the same time) i gave it to her and she asked if i was okay i said yes with glassy eyes.  so she changed all my info and came around the desk area and grabbed my hand and walked me to photos and sat with me for a min holding my hand. 

On a day that was exhilarating and terrifying two strangers showed me kindness and 10 years later its still one of my fav memories.

Thank you
Lilly

This story isn't directly related to my transition as I still am only into my second month of HRT, but it is a good kindness by strangers that happened to my daughter.

My daughter has passed her year mark on HRT and qualified to have all legal documents changed to reflect that she is female.  The only thing left was for her OHIP (Ontario Medical Coverage...) and her Driver's License.  She wanted to go to the MTO to switch the M to F but was a little nervous dealing with the clerks even though she has been living as female for more than a year full-time.  So I go along for morale support and to hopefully make it that much harder for the clerks to be rude to her...at 6'2" and +300 pounds (at that time...) I can look a little scary when needed.

We wait our turn and get called up to the next available teller.  I was so blown away by her.  She didn't bat an eye at the request and called my daughter everything from her to sweety to girlfriend...I wanted to cry (most likely would have if my E levels were as high as they are now...).  When my daughter was standing for her photo, I told the teller I was really happy with how well she treated my child.  Told her my wife would be upset that she wasn't here to see this as she would have loved her for that.  She told me that my child deserves to be treated with respect like any other person.

Let's fast forward about a month or two when my wife had to go get her ID updated and my daughter was trying to switch her aunt's car over to her.  As luck would have it, we got the same teller.  My wife thanked her so much for what she did.  It really surprised us when she wanted to apologize for what another person said about my daughter.  My daughter dropped her ID when we left and had to go back and find it.  One of the tellers had it as a person that found it handed it in.  Apparently someone made a very rude comment that she thought my daughter heard (she didn't...).  She told us that she freaked on the person and tried to educate them on their mistake and comment that they made.

Sorry that this isn't my transition but I am hoping that when my turn comes...I too will receive the same treatment from whatever teller I end up with. 

That experience really made my daughters day (twice...) and gave my wife and I hope that maybe there is a chance for some normalcy in this world.

Charlene

This story might be a bit of a stretch for the topic, but not too much.

I was in the bank, presenting as myself, dealing with something that required a human teller.  As per normal procedure, I showed her my bank card, that still had my dead-name on it.  She swiped the card through the machine and started reading the computer record off her screen.  She stopped and said, "This card isn't yours!"  Oh, crap, I thought, here goes.  So I explained that while I hadn't yet received my legal name change, so all my ID was still in my old name, the card was indeed mine.  "Oh, it's not that," she said, "You aren't 62!"   

She was very apologetic that she had doubted me and caused some stress.  But I told her, "Don't apologize, hun.  You just made my day!"

My story also involves the name change. On the application I gave the reason as "Transitioning from male to female, and my old name no longer reflects who I am." I didn't have to go back for the proceedings and a few months later this showed up. I wasn't changing gender, just the name.



Great topic!

Hugs, Devlyn

I have to compliment the Doctors and staff at Kaiser for their compassion and understanding. From assigning a social worker, therapist, voice coach, and GP with transition knowledge.  Now on HRT for over a year I realize how comforting it is to know I have a team of thoughtful professionals supporting me. I have learned sooo much in a short amount of time. My new friends I never knew existed in such numbers. I am a far better person than I was a year ago, many years in the making.

I always heard that used clothing stores are good places to shop for transwomen.  I did some shopping at big box stores like Target previously and was never too nervous, as people there all seemed to be in their own worlds too much to notice me.  But a small shop, I thought, would be a different story.

A friend at work told me about a little shop that's close by where we work- it's a funding source for a non-profit.  I decided to try it, but to calm my fears I phoned them and asked "are you trans friendly"?  "Sure" the answer came.  I found out later that I was speaking to the manager, who called her staff together after taking my call and said "a new customer is coming here this afternoon and we need to make her feel comfortable and welcome."  They did.

I have a closet full of clothes I've bought there since.  I volunteer there now too.

I had many encounters when people would go out of the blue and say good things to me. One story though stands apart.

Imagine me being at a local bar in a poor side of a blue collar town (where I used to live, and all employees at the bar were highly supportive). And there sits an older Mexican guy (probably 'undocumented' as his family is back in Mexico) and he starts crying and telling me how much he envied my bravery and freedom to express myself and that he also feels a transgender (although he thought it was gay at the time), but he never dared to go out. And now he's old, and he is happy for me, amazed how well I am treated by all the strangers at the bar (again - I only once was slightly harassed there and it has ended before it started by the drunk jerk's friends, other time it was totally positive experience with any crowd (and bartenders loved me)), but so unhappy for himself for never had the courage to be herself....

Little did he know though.


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There have been several throughout my life to date. When I was in my early 20's, I met a stranger gentleman at a time in my life that I was literally without funds or ability for employment to sustain myself. No one would ever suspect I had hit rock bottom after my divorce and my husband's family no longer supported me. I lived in a fabulous house and was at a time in my life where I dressed to impress no matter the occasion -- yet I had not one cent, no food and hungry as heck, and down to the last tank of gas in my car which I dared not drive in case I got a job and needed it. I was using the customer service phones at the AT&T for my job search. He overheard me, reprimanded me (but was only kidding) and asked why I had no phone. He was a lifesaver and a godsend - literally. He took me to lunch, gave me some money to get by on for the next few days, and befriended me. He was in his late 50's and quite handsome, and so worldly. No, there was no sex, no nothing of the sort. His best advice was that a girl like me needed to use my looks and personality to make money. He taught me how to bartend (haha -- oh the stories of my first job). In a resort town, in the best resort -- it was Bingo! Before I knew it, I was making crazy amounts of money, made great contacts, continued my education.  I never got the chance to thank him.  Thank you Robert -- with all my heart. You do not know the difference you made in this girl's life.

Thank you all for taking the time to write a positive story i just feel in these times with all the turmoil and division, that hearing life has its silver lining moments is just a good thing to reflect on i loved all of your stories.  Thank you for sharing

Always,
Lilly