Quote from: Berliegh on February 15, 2008, 06:58:03 AMA much better test is going out in jeans, trainers, no make up and a denim jacket or hoodie....if you are still called miss....then you are transitioning......

I really have to object to the whole mindset that privileges this idea. Not all of us are capable of that. Personally, I am perceived as a woman and called ma'am 10 out of 10 times... but I wear skirts, heels, and makeup. Feminine attire gives me the confidence I need to make it in life. If I were held to a standard that I wasn't supposed to do anything feminine for my appearance, I'd find it heartbreakingly difficult to exist. If I waited until I could do as you said before I transitioned, I'd keep waiting for the rest of my life and never begin. So although I understand you didn't intend offense by saying that, I think the assumptions behind it are extremely detrimental to those of us who aren't privileged by the same natural looks you enjoy, Berleigh.

By using feminine adjustments to my appearance, I have successfully transitioned anyway. So there. We each do what we're capable of, and what works for us as individuals. We're not all like you, nor do we need to be.

[

By using feminine adjustments to my appearance, I have successfully transitioned anyway. So there. We each do what we're capable of, and what works for us as individuals. We're not all like you, nor do we need to be.
[/quote]

no need to be eristic dear

Quote from: Hypatia on February 23, 2008, 07:45:57 AM

Quote from: Berliegh on February 15, 2008, 06:58:03 AMA much better test is going out in jeans, trainers, no make up and a denim jacket or hoodie....if you are still called miss....then you are transitioning......

I really have to object to the whole mindset that privileges this idea. Not all of us are capable of that. Personally, I am perceived as a woman and called ma'am 10 out of 10 times... but I wear skirts, heels, and makeup. Feminine attire gives me the confidence I need to make it in life. If I were held to a standard that I wasn't supposed to do anything feminine for my appearance, I'd find it heartbreakingly difficult to exist. If I waited until I could do as you said before I transitioned, I'd keep waiting for the rest of my life and never begin. So although I understand you didn't intend offense by saying that, I think the assumptions behind it are extremely detrimental to those of us who aren't privileged by the same natural looks you enjoy, Berleigh.

By using feminine adjustments to my appearance, I have successfully transitioned anyway. So there. We each do what we're capable of, and what works for us as individuals. We're not all like you, nor do we need to be.

Hypatia, We all have our own opinions and what we percieve as our objectives. There are many variations on what a transsexual is or should be like and what we want to acheive....we are all different and have come into this situation for different reasons.....I expect to get 'knocked' by presenting some issue's which are not usually looked at on a T forum...

Like in business, objective must be linked to results.

So, if for you, having a body feminine enough for you, but still not passable or androgyne,
is enough (correspond to objectives) well, hoorah, you've reached your goal.

Everyone has a different end goal and I think 99% of disagreements in this forum
is that we somehow cannot fathom that someone would feel differently than us.

Just imagine if we can't even understand we'rre different from each other
how confusing it can be for outsider who have stereotypical views of who we are.

Back to the original question:

When I finally took the plunge and transitioned in the autumn of last year, it was when a number of factors had run together:
1. Over the summer, a woman I met told me that she didn't know I was trans until I spoke up and said so. This gave me pretty much all the confidence I needed, even if I wasn't 100% positive that I would succeed 10 for 10.
2. I felt increasingly unbearable pressure from within that was making it impossible not to transition. In fact, this alone would have pushed me to go ahead, ready or not.
3. I was outed to my boss, and he strongly encouraged me to go ahead and transition immediately.

So here's the cool thing I discovered immediately, from my first day of fulltime:

I began "passing" 10 for 10 because the act of transitioning itself gave me such a psychological boost that everyone now saw me as the woman I am. Hypatia says: Take the plunge!

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. "
--Goethe

I can't emphasize that enough. Taking the plunge was the key step that boosted my personal transformational magick to succeed in transitioning and "passing." Like I said above, if I'd waited around until I thought I was already perfect, I'd still be waiting. Instead, I just went for it--and it worked. YMMV.