I wonder if it is normal to feel you are moving fast in deciding to transition? Have others found out within a couple months who they are and decided right away "I want to transition" is it a bad idea to move right into transitioning
or should I take time to think longer? I have an appointment in october and want to get a letter for hormones.
I know for sure this is what I want was bargaining with myself for a bit. But I know my body is not what I want it to be.
I know I am un happy and if anyone said I HAD to stay the way I was the rest of my life that I would be unhappy.

There is no normal or right way to transition.  Some people take a long time to decide; others just know.

The thought had been suppressed in the back of my mind for so long that, when it finally came to the surface, it was like "I can do this.  I will do this.  I can't waste any more time."

It's sort of a fine line feeling like you have to start HRT or have surgeries bcos that's what other trans people have done and you're more likely be considered a 'real trans person' by society and feeling like this is what you actually want and need for yourself in order to have that chance to be comfortable within yourself; regardless of how others would view you.

Only you can decide if your level of discomfort warrants a medical transition as well as a social one. But if you go on T and decide it's not for you it doesn't make you any less trans. At least you'd know yourself better.

Good luck

Hi Max,

I suppose lots of people have moments during their process when they question what they're doing and feel like things are moving too fast.  The thing about hormones (I can only speak from the MtF perspective) is that they don't magically change your body, so there's an opportunity, each day, to revisit and decide to continue or not.  Now they DO magically change your emotional state, or can, at least.  So if you're experiencing dysphoria about who you are and how you present, you might find the answer very quickly after starting treatment. 

One caution on the use of MtF hormones/T-blockers is that over time, you may lose reproductive function, which is a good reason to be cautious and to move deliberately, and not rush, or at least to engage professionals, like therapists or psychologists specializing in gender identity issues. 

You don't say exactly what your timeline is, and how long it took for you to reach the conclusion that you wanted to change, or whether you received any assistance from a therapist.  Lots of people here have gotten answers through therapy, so if you haven't explored that, it's certainly worth your while to think about.  In some places, it's a necessary step in receiving treatment, in others not. 

I'm 12 months into hormone treatment right now, and I can't say there aren't moments when I stop and worry whether I'm doing the right thing.  But I find overwhelming validation, day after day, that I'm doing exactly what I want.  So pay attention to those thoughts, as they may or may not be warnings your mind is throwing out there.  They may simply be a fear of change, which lots of people must feel from time to time.  I doubt whether anyone here can make that determination for you, hence the plug for therapy, which you may receive plenty of as others start to touch on this thread. 

Good luck to you in your journey.  I wish you the best, both in determining your path and in taking it.  I can't quote figures off the top off my head, but I believe that the number of people that regret moving on with their transition is pretty small.  And as you age, again, especially from the MtF perspective, you may experience physical changes that will make your transition more difficult and possibly less successful in achieving your goals.  If it's bothering you enough to seriously consider treatment, it's worth exploring with someone able to help you ask the right questions, and find the answers. 

Erin

I don't know what you consider fast but.. But from coming out to my wife to starting hormones for me was less then 12months

I had wondered on and off for years but had always discounted it as something that would/could never happen. So I consider that I my transition has been relatively quick, compared to what other ladies have been through.

My Timeline
September 16 told my wife I had feelings & she convinced me to explore them.
November 16 went and saw a Trans guidance service run by volunteer Transgender people.
Jan 17 started T Blockers
April 17 finally got into see a gender specialist.
June 17 got my letter to take to my Endo and also filled out the informed consent paperwork.
July 17 started E

People will talk about doubts, there are a number of people who started stoped and then some even started again. There are many different stories on this board.

There is a really good topic at the moment about only being 80% sure that I would highly recommend reading if you haven't.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=228660

Most people have doubts and there are considerations like infertility to consider.

It's a journey to take at whatever speed you are comfortable with, if you feel like it's happening to fast you can always take it slower. It's your transition you should be comfortable as you work through it.

-Mara


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Is it normal to think you need time to "be sure"? Yes. I think most people need some time to consider the gravity of it all (and of course the risks and compromises). The whole process in itself takes quite a while to complete anyway, though. From the first doctor appointment to the last surgical recovery or whatever variations a person chooses.

Personally I gave myself 1.5 years to think carefully about it. Then I waited almost a year for a GIC appt. and almost another year for hormone prescriptions. If you have the opportunity to do it faster, I guess it's going to feel like quite the leap. For me it feels like I've been waiting long enough while my life has been passing by in an unsatisfactory state.

Thanks everyone it is appreciated the amount of support and responses.
I know this is what I want maybe I am trying to convince myself it is not because I am worried about being accepted.
I know I will be ok though when I do go through with it. I am going to ask my therapist for my letter in October to go on hormones. I figured out about 2 and  a half months or so ago about this. I guess it all depends on each person and how much time they think they need. When I asked myself "Would I be comfortable staying as a woman the rest of my life?" No was my answer.

January 1962: born
1966: asked my mom "was a mistake made? Any chance I'm supposed too be a girl?"
October 16, 2015: out to my first person and didn't use the word transgender.  I had no idea what I was feeling.
November 1, 2015: came out to my wife
November 20 2015, first gender therapist
February 15, 2016, sending gender therapist
March 20 2016 started blockers
May 24 2016 started E
(Seven months from I feel something is wrong to taking E injections)
Two months later, stopped.
Two months later, nervous breakdown.
Started blockers again
November 2, 2016 started E back up
March 2, 2017, full time.

So, 15 months from not understanding these feelings to Denise 100% in 17 months and legal name change is in three weeks.  FFS in the next few months, followed quickly by breast augmentation. 

I'd that quick?  I know people that it took 10 years to go full-time.  Everyone is on their own schedule.  Be on your own.

Just a note, typically full transition level of T causes pretty quick transition.  A friend of mine is on a very low dose and is seeing changes they had not expected this fast.

Whatever you do is right for you.

Denise
P.S.  if you are worrying if "should I" or "an I trans enough" just asking the question tells me you are.  Cis people never think about their gender.  Just ask and watch the blank stares you get.


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Thanks Denise. I figured that out too that most people who know they are the gender they are don't ask themselves that.
I am just waiting it out now. Kinda makes me sad. I had a dream last night about burning all of my old photos.
Although I don't want to forget my past because I did a lot good stuff in my past that I am proud of.
(Depression doesn't help the waiting) I know who I want to be. Am glad I figured this out all by myself though

Quote from: KathyLauren on September 22, 2017, 07:09:09 AM
There is no normal or right way to transition.  Some people take a long time to decide; others just know.

The thought had been suppressed in the back of my mind for so long that, when it finally came to the surface, it was like "I can do this.  I will do this.  I can't waste any more time."

I completely agree with this 100% each person is vastly different because there are so many variables. I found that justifying it to myself was well worth the all the time I spent on it.  I find when I have doubts that most of the time its unjustified and the evidence is still pointing the same way.  It gives me the confidence to take the next step and plan for the next step.

How things have went for me has been a whirlwind for lack of a better term, The first thing I did was laid out a plan with time frames. While this completely got blown out of the water almost as soon as I got it down It helped me find where I was going and what steps I need to take. I then tried to just make goals without the time frame and that worked for a bit, but that again got blown outta the water again. Now I just have a list and when I have a chance to cross one of the things off the list.

The most important thing is too never stop fighting to be yourself, regardless of how dark your situation may be. Find the light and just start moving, if you get confused figure out what you need to understand. Each step for me has been easier to make, even when they are painful.

Just remember you are in control of the speed, don't be afraid to take it at your own pace.

Best of Luck!

Jess

Quote from: MaxForever on September 22, 2017, 06:29:17 AM
I wonder if it is normal to feel you are moving fast in deciding to transition? Have others found out within a couple months who they are and decided right away "I want to transition" is it a bad idea to move right into transitioning
or should I take time to think longer? I have an appointment in october and want to get a letter for hormones.
I know for sure this is what I want was bargaining with myself for a bit. But I know my body is not what I want it to be.
I know I am un happy and if anyone said I HAD to stay the way I was the rest of my life that I would be unhappy.

Somehow missed this thread when you first posted it, but just wanted to say I feel the same way. Things are moving very fast and I'm not entirely sure I am making the right decision. I had my timeframe set for the beginning of next year to truly make a decision on HRT, but now I'm going to talk to my therapist about starting HRT during my appointment tomorrow. I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake as I only really came out to myself just under 2 months ago, which doesn't seem like very long. But on the other hand, that's just when I admitted it fully. This is something I've known I wanted since I was 10, 25 years ago, even if I made excuses to myself about it being a fantasy. That's not really that slow.

Quote from: MaxForever on September 22, 2017, 04:56:12 PM
I know this is what I want maybe I am trying to convince myself it is not because I am worried about being accepted.

You sound just like me. It happens to the best of us...Fear paralyzes us and we start wondering if this is actually worth it or if we actually need it. I get doubts every single day, but I'm still going.

Glad to know there is someone else who only realized in 2 months like me so then I know this is for real and
I know it is worth it to do to make me happy. I am just scared and scared. I don't know why but I understand that most people are when they start.