Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Strangest thing to get used to

Started by Alora, September 23, 2017, 11:02:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Niki Knight

Well lets see I would have to say there are a few of them.

As Mentioned.

Pockets - small or no pockets at all. I do have a pair of ladies style cargo pants which have pockets but there not something you wear to the office. So its my purse that carries the load now. For me not a huge deal but do miss the larger pockets on mens stuff.

Zippers being opposite hasn't been that big of a deal. I have been dressing all my life so just got used to it right away.

Women are completely different than what they used to be. Conversation is much more open and detailed. Women have a different way of communicating to each other and it just feels right.  Men on the other hand have gotten dumber in there actions and being checked out all the time is seems to be the norm. This can be curtailed by the type of clothes you wear but I have a tendency to wear the tight stuff and heels so Im asking for it.

The number one thing for me to get used to is CONVERSATION . This has definitely changed and I have noticed it when dealing with people in business. Men do not take women as serious as they do there male counter parts. I found prior to transition men would look me in the eye while talking now there is fluctuation and almost being uncomfortable in the conversation. I have to be more assertive to get points across. Basically you have to be an iron maiden to achieve the same level of respect that I got as a man. I have seen this change over the years with society moving slowly ever forward to equality. There are many nuisances that have changed but have found overall once I learned what was going on and how to react it is now working in my favour. Im sure other girls have had these types of experiences.

A funny one. Conversation in the washroom. I have had conversations while washing my hands with ladies in the washroom and its quite normally but this would never happen in a males washroom.
A girl even asked me for a tampon once giving me the whole story why she needed it.

Always noticing little things along the way that are strange or different but it all feels right.

Huggs Niki Marie
  •  

sarah1972

Adding one more: emotions and being way more emotional. I used to be pretty stoic and never showed any emotion. Now I start sobbing on the slighted trigger, mostly cute / nice things.

It first started when a co-worker forwarded a really nice email she had received from her boss... I just sat there and tears spraying from my eyes.

Now it can be as simple as seeing my 18 month old daughter eat...

  •  

natalie.ashlyne

For me the thing I have a hard time getting  used to  is being hit on and flirted with by guys both older and younger  than myself  totally different  experience
  •  

josie76

Socially the biggest surprise was how some guys acted a bit different than normal even in male mode. Appearently my personal space got a lot smaller without me knowing. Guys would stand much closer than I ever knew them too. Getting a hand on my shoulder or arm started happening. One guy put his hand on the small of my back and it didn't move until I moved away. In a machine cab a couple of times a guy sitting next to me would let his knee bump mine. I had to keep my knees much closer together. All of it was after I was on hormones for just a short while.

Women seem to see something different in my demeanor. They seem to have a question in their expression way more than guys do. Those that figure me out will suddenly change the way they talk to me. Those that already know I'm trans include me like any other woman. That I really enjoy.

Physically it's the breasts. Most days they are just like an arm, not noticed by me. But early on, when driving on a rough road I decided I needed to start wearing sports bras. Ouch that hurts when they bounce. Also in my job I learned not to bump them.

Finger nails break so darn easily. Progesterone helped but they still chip or tear a lot easier than man nails do.

Ok so that was several things so far.  :)
04/26/2018 bi-lateral orchiectomy

A lifetime of depression and repressed emotions is nothing more than existence. I for one want to live now not just exist!

  •  

warlockmaker

When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
  •  

Niki Knight

  •  

Aurorasky

Interesting topic :)

There's various things which weren't "strange" per se to get used to, but rather a shock, because even if you can intellectually accept that they happen - emotionally, you aren't ready for them. Street harassment was one of those stances, it started happening very fast and I didn't have the knowledge to defend myself. I also must say that I have worked door-to-door in quite rough conditions and undefined terms when I was 18, so that made me even more vulnerable to street harassment. Many men would invite me to get in their apartment and some would even be quite furtive in their approach. I found myself in some quite stressful situations. One time, as I was leaving a building I had "pitched", I heard a stream of catcalls. I looked back, a group of 10 guys were looking at me and asking me to get closer, give them my number, etc etc. It was scary and I ran away. I have countless of these stories. The environments I was in and the fact that I worked until late in every job I had didn't help prevent this from happening.

Another thing is that you will have to get used to people commenting how you look, to your face or behind your back. Whether it's good or bad. If you are pretty or are not, if you look good in that dress or not. Scrutinizing is a thing. Especially in the workplace. Watch out for shorts, leggings, dresses, showing too much leg...etc. You will get looks, mostly by women. Many of those looks will be nasty. Sarcastic remarks are also quite common, especially if you make an effort to look good on a particular day. Also, men intruding your personal space IS a thing... one of my managers at the call center must have found me endearing as he kept touching my hair as I talked, until I respectfully told him to stop. Another time I was in a coffee shop, late at night, I had just had dinner and was making time to meet a friend when a middle-aged man came. He started talking to me asking for a charger for his phone, he kept asking questions and trying to make conversation and then talking about his love life, soon enough he was sitting beside and rubbing my thigh!!! It was scary. I demanded him stop, took my charger and thank the heavens, my friend appeared! We fled from that place.

As for the positive, I can talk to other women and actually feel a connection now. I have started conversations in public transportations a lot, and other women have started conversations with me. They just happen in the most random places. And it's good to be able to connect and have a true girl-girl friendship and enjoy it. We aren't a threat to each other and that it's so comforting. There's mutual understanding. Some of the best conversations I have had in my life were with female strangers in public transports at night. Funny thing!

This is just some things I can think of. There's probably more. Overall, I can say transition was very rewarding and to be able to live my life as a young woman is something I'm eternally grateful for. SRS and BA were the finishing line of this journey and I can't imagine myself without these. However, there are drawbacks and women still get very much second-class citizen card in many instances, even in the West. But it's still much better than in the rest of the world.
Love,

Aurora Beatriz da Fonseca
  •  

Leslie601

Short pockets, no front pockets, Shoe sizes and and the fact nobody converts men's/women's the same way. Bra sizes and what's up with dress sizes? Pantyhose long/tall - whose definition? I'm 5'7" and long tall is too small for me?  What do really tall women do? Why do women's watches not have date/day? What day is today anyway?

Leslie
  •  

Julia1996

Quote from: Cindy on September 24, 2017, 06:38:02 AM
I remember when I had those appendages and was at a high class tailor for a fitting. It was 'where do they hang? The trousers were then tailored correctly so that there where no bulge or prominence. Gentlemen have no reason to boast was the expression.
If you look at high profile men there is very seldom a prominent bulge. Attitude and class is everything in a man - just my opinion.

That is very classy Cindy. My brother on the otherhand wears tight jeans especially so he has a bulge and his thing is noticeable. Sigh...no class at all.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
  •  

Roll

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on September 24, 2017, 02:22:33 AM

I'm wondering how those with an actual penis and testicles deals with it, do they let it go wherever it wants or "place" it on the left or right?  And yes, I have "proper" boxer-briefs for it, in case you were wondering.


I've honestly never even thought about this once in my life. It's just kind of... there. I'm just average, so maybe it's a problem for those who are more well endowed? I think the testicles are the larger issue. You don't want to accidentally sit on those things.  ;D
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

  •  

Rachel_Christina

Haha, for me in Switzerland, its the three kisses on the face with guys :')


  •  

Thessa

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on September 24, 2017, 01:43:00 PM
Haha, for me in Switzerland, its the three kisses on the face with guys :')
This - it's just two kisses over here, but still strange.
  •  

Rachel_Christina



  •  


Lady Sarah

For me, it was coming to the realization that men are strange. I thought I knew what it was like to be one, and thought I understood them. I was dead wrong.
I can understand they want food, a lot. I can understand that they get horny. But, they even mess that up. Sometimes, I think I'd like to read Phillip's mind, but at the same time, wonder if I really want to.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
  •  

VeronicaLynn

Quote from: Cindy on September 24, 2017, 06:38:02 AM
I remember when I had those appendages and was at a high class tailor for a fitting. It was 'where do they hang? The trousers were then tailored correctly so that there where no bulge or prominence. Gentlemen have no reason to boast was the expression.
If you look at high profile men there is very seldom a prominent bulge. Attitude and class is everything in a man - just my opinion.

I was shocked and appalled when asked that at my one and only time at a high class tailor when I was just graduating from college and needing an interview suit. I refused to answer.

Still getting used to sitting in skirts/dresses. Perhaps not strange, but strange to me trying to find a ladylike way to eat at my coffee table...seems like I can only either sit sideways or actually pick up the plate...both of which are likely to end up with a mess...
  •  

noleen111

My responses to some of the comments posted since my response..

Breasts

I have 36D cup breasts and sometimes it's funny how men react to my breasts. I do like to show some cleavage and sometimes men want to look and then they try and hide the fact they are checking my breasts out, especially if they are with their wives or girlfriends.  (Head straight ahead, but the eyes turn toward my breasts.)

When they got big enough to jiggle as I walked, that was strange sensation at first, but I never had to get use to having breasts.. for me it was natural and just right.

Relationships with other women

Females friendship is totally different, being treated as one of the girls is amazing.. I have 3 amazing bff girl friends and the things we share amazing. It was a little uncomfortable the first time when the topic of periods came up.,

One thing I do hate, is women are very judgemental to each other, especially if you look better in an outfit than they do. I have quite nice legs, and I do like to wear short skirts to show them off, I do get some glares from other women, when their men take look.

My fav moment ever, was when I was trying to get lactation to happen. What they do, is they play with your hormones to fool your body into thinking your are pregnant so the milk glands will develop and start producing milk. So I decide, if my body is fooled, can I fool a pregnancy test (I know now, no as those tests look for a certain hormone which HRT does not produce, this hormone is only produced at fertilization) .. Anyways I was looking at the pregnancy tests and this frightened young girl started looking too. She turned to me and asked, how late are you.. before I answered she told me she was 2 weeks late. She told me she was 19 and she i had fooled around with a friend and she was frighten to what her parents would say.. I have never felt so included as one of the girls as that day.. this was total stranger.. it was amazing.. PS I told her I was a week late.
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
  •  

Julia1996

Quote from: Lady Sarah on September 24, 2017, 10:45:18 PM
For me, it was coming to the realization that men are strange. I thought I knew what it was like to be one, and thought I understood them. I was dead wrong.
I can understand they want food, a lot. I can understand that they get horny. But, they even mess that up. Sometimes, I think I'd like to read Phillip's mind, but at the same time, wonder if I really want to.
I never understood guys at all, but since transitioning I find them even more confusing. They can be so unpredictable and weird. Especially groups of guys. It's interesting but confusing to watch them. I feel like Jane Godall and want to throw them bananas.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
  •  

LizK

Genuine brief connections with other women wether it be a friendly smile or a short conversation in the Elevator...always with a smile and always a pleasant interlude... and of course I have to mention two other things, the first...A good handbag is worth is weight in gold...secondly...when you find that one particular colour of lipstick and go "that's me"...
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

sarah1972

Maybe you can teach them a few tricks by giving them bananas [emoji23]

On a more serious note:
A few weeks After I had figured out I am trans I was on a work assignment with a few male coworkers and of course they started the usual boy talk. It did feel so strange to the point where I had to remind them to tone it down.

The strangest part about it was that a year earlier, I may have been part of the conversation.
Made me realize some of my past behavior would have meant Julia throwing Bananas at me... Glad I am not that person anymore.

Quote from: Julia1996 on September 25, 2017, 05:58:24 AM
I never understood guys at all, but since transitioning I find them even more confusing. They can be so unpredictable and weird. Especially groups of guys. It's interesting but confusing to watch them. I feel like Jane Godall and want to throw them bananas.

  •