Hope this is the right place for this... Sorry for my rambling posts... I haven't been able to get my ADD meds from my Mom & I'm all over the place... Anyway, Ive been trying to keep a positive outlook on things, but to those who haven't read my posts my mom threw me out when I came out to her & I currently live on the streets. I am unemployed as I lost my job due to drug addiction. I'm 6 months clean but take methadone every day so I cant stray far from my clinic. I found a trans support group but it doesn't meet til 10/2. I have a couple friends/brothers but they're in ME & NYC. I saw so many pretty girls today, wearing adorable clothes, & it made me very jealous & unhappy. I have nobody to talk to and I'm very depressed... I never get this down, and that's saying a lot, as I've had a hard life... I think the HRT is makin me far more sensitive...  Anyway, I was just wondering if anybody knew of a phone number or chat room/app for trans support? Or... if anyone maybe had any words of encouragement? I'm sorry to ask, I hate feeling sorry for myself, I feel weak... but I'm so lonely... I'm at the lowest point in my life, and the only thing keeping me going is my firm belief that one day I'll finally find happiness thru transitioning...
[emoji22] -Jessi

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I PMed you a link that should contain the information you are requesting if you are depressed. On the other hand, if you want to socially chat, there is a chat located on this site. The is a link to chat on the top of the page and if you would like more information, the discussion board should answer your questions.

Add up how many years it took for you to head in one direction.  And now you're developing in a completely different direction - one that is far better for you in the long run.  You are making good decisions for your future and not as focused on easy instant things.  Think of how something eight days ago just happened - and your first trans support group meeting is eight days from now, that will also come up pretty fast.  Before you know it you'll be meeting people in your local area with many of the same issues and working on solutions.

Getting jealous about pretty girls... even runway fashion models are often self-conscious of a bunch of flaws only they see.  Next time you see a beautiful woman, don't get jealous - step back and realize what we see as beauty is the whole person, not just a face or body shape or style of clothing.  That's why a photo never really compares to meeting someone.  Feminine beauty includes the way a person carries themselves, socially interacts, choice of words and way they speak.  HRT definitely helps, but I think even more important is the way a person's face and body language shows how they feel.  As you build your new future it will show in your face.  Set achievable goals and start making small and large accomplishments - and remind yourself when you hit a goal, that is a big deal and you earned it.  You already have made many recently.  Any time you get a bit down, think of how far you have already climbed and the great places you are going. 

Jobs aren't always easy to find but the market is quite good right now.  In addition to hunting for traditional jobs think about other ways to get your foot in the door.  A volunteer position won't bring money in but quickly adds to your experience and background and can help you leapfrog past an entry-level position.  If I was starting out again I'd aim for a basic job but also a few hours per week volunteering in a field that I'd like get into - and use that to build connections into a new line of work.  Look at this from the other direction, the point of view of a manager looking to hire someone.  If you gained job skills doing volunteer work while you were also working or looking for a basic job, you will stand out above other job applicants.

Other ways to get past the job gap - spend time at your local library or online (Khan Academy).  Is there a job fair coming up in your town?  Community college bulletin boards have job listings.  Ask at next week's transgender meeting.  Finding a good job is like dating - it's not all online and the best connections are through a friend of a friend.  Just some ideas. 

You're on the right track now.

Thank you so much Kendra! You're very kind. This was EXACTLY what I needed. It helped me put things in perspective. Several things which sent me into a downward spiral. First I wished my mom a happy birthday & she replied w/ several extremely hurtful comments, & basically said not to contact her again. Then my phone reset itself & I lost everything. To top it off my body seems to have adjusted to the E & I'm not feeling that same euphoria I was... Or perhaps I fell off what we call in AA/NA the "pink cloud," the initial "EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL!" feeling when you make a positive life-changing decision... Whatever the cause I fell & I fell HARD. Thought about a lot of stuff the past few days. Never doubted my decision tho, no question that I'm on the right path.
What you said about pretty girls & beauty makes a lot of sense. Made me realize that when I'm happy (a recent occurrence) & I look in the mirror, I see femininity. When I'm upset I see the old me. When I'm happy I also have to (unfortunately) filter myself, as I move, walk & talk in a more feminine manner. So I guess you're correct, mental well-being has a LOT more to do w/ transitioning than I realized. I initially thought I could do this without any sort of support (group, therapy, friends etc.)... My, how very wrong I was! Lol. I also like what you said about goals. I spoke w/ the representative of the group I'm attending & she encouraged me to present as female there if I wanted. It will be my first time doing so, & I'm very nervous, but also excited! Already picked out what I'm going 2 wear (leggings, flats, & tank; keeping it simple), & bought a cute new pink sweater hoodie 4 it! So I guess that this will be my next goal! As 4 the job thing, it's funny U mentioned volunteering. I eat, shower & charge my phone daily @ the shelter I'm waiting to get into. It's almost all women volunteering there (several of whom know I'm trans), & they are AMAZING! So helpful & kind-hearted! So I decided to start volunteering there as well. Figured I could give back, keep busy (no "idle hands" here!), & perhaps make some connections/references. The main issue w/ me & work is that I'm afraid 2 lose my insurance... I need it 4 HRT, MMT (Methadone Maintenance Treatment) & eventually SRS. I also have worked labor jobs all my life, & I know firsthand how biased that industry is towards women & trans people. I don't have experience doing anything else. But I'll find something.
I'm feeling a lot better now. Your advice was wonderful, truly spot on! Adding to that, i came out to my whole family via my cousin Steve (the go-to for family news/events) & everyone supports me! I've never felt like part of them (my mom was the black sheep), but Steve said he'd like to change that! So yay, I DO have a family! :') Also my nipples are starting to feel a bit sensitive, & things feel SLIGHTLY different beneath them! I know it's only been 2 wks but I've always reacted 2 meds & such very fast, & having low T already may have helped 2. & I haven't been messing w/ them either, something's definitely happening! YAY!! Anyway I've rambled enough. Just wanted to say thanks for everything you said, it truly helped! I'm in a much better place now. Much love!

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I am really glad to hear you are doing and feeling better.
 
If you start to volunteer at the shelter, ask about various job roles they might need help with - and think about how each role might sound to a prospective employer.  If they offer a choice, grab the job title which looks best on your resume or is closer to things you are interested in.  You might start out with something basic and then learn skills for different roles they need help with.  If the shelter operates under a nonprofit corporation or public agency, find out their formal name and use that for your job records instead of the shelter name. 

Several years before I went back to college and jumped into the computer field I worked at a gas station.  Started out pumping gas, then learned to be a mechanic.  The company was "Sales & Service Inc." so that's what I put on my resume instead of "Shell Gas Station" - both are accurate but one sounded better when I went job hunting.

I volunteered several years on a city planning commission for a small historic town - evenings after work.  I researched and rewrote their building codes so new construction would blend with historic structures, and I was determined to write it in a way that didn't appear hostile to homeowners and business owners.  At the time I thought I was just giving back to the community but I ended up with a nice additional job skill.  Years later I was writing specifications at a large software company for use by external business partners, people said mine were were more readable and put the company in a better negotiating position - because I used techniques from the volunteer city planning commission.  Sometimes you can't predict exactly how one thing will lead to another.

Quote from: Kendra on September 28, 2017, 01:10:18 AM
I am really glad to hear you are doing and feeling better.
 
If you start to volunteer at the shelter, ask about various job roles they might need help with - and think about how each role might sound to a prospective employer.  If they offer a choice, grab the job title which looks best on your resume or is closer to things you are interested in.  You might start out with something basic and then learn skills for different roles they need help with.  If the shelter operates under a nonprofit corporation or public agency, find out their formal name and use that for your job records instead of the shelter name. 

Several years before I went back to college and jumped into the computer field I worked at a gas station.  Started out pumping gas, then learned to be a mechanic.  The company was "Sales & Service Inc." so that's what I put on my resume instead of "Shell Gas Station" - both are accurate but one sounded better when I went job hunting.

I volunteered several years on a city planning commission for a small historic town - evenings after work.  I researched and rewrote their building codes so new construction would blend with historic structures, and I was determined to write it in a way that didn't appear hostile to homeowners and business owners.  At the time I thought I was just giving back to the community but I ended up with a nice additional job skill.  Years later I was writing specifications at a large software company for use by external business partners, people said mine were were more readable and put the company in a better negotiating position - because I used techniques from the volunteer city planning commission.  Sometimes you can't predict exactly how one thing will lead to another.

Such good advice, thanks!! I def appreciate it; I haven't had to look for work for a long time, so I'm rusty in the job search area to say the least... And I'm goddam good at what I did, but my experience is rather limited to those two fields, which are actually quite similar: in both irrigation & snowmaking (I made it rain & I made it snow![emoji4]) you're moving water, air & electricity. The most useful skills I learned from them are plumbing & wiring, but unfortunately they're virtually worthless without being certified... However, I am def a bit of a "wordsmith," so I shall try & put a more eloquent spin on things in my resume.
Sooo... you were right, the shelter thing may be paying off already! I chat it up w/ the ladies there everyday, & I've been sure to mention my work experience/skills. Well, 1 of them approached me yesterday & told me about a tiny, local ski hill that is mostly volunteer but has a few paid snowmaking & lift operator positions! I immediately called them & w/ 10 winters of experience, in both 'making AND lift ops, I'm basically a shoe in! [emoji16]
I love 'making, it's truly magical... BUT, that being said, I'd be lying if I said I actually WANT to do it again... I've pushed my body HARD over the yrs, & 'making is a young PERSONS job (2 of the best 'makers I ever worked w/ were girls! They worked harder than any man, & never complained once! GIRLS RULE!!!), but $ is $, & I desperately need it; & besides, it's a foot in the door... Perhaps I can get into grooming down the rd. I'll at least get my name out there in my new area, & get some new references... oh, & I'll be able to keep my insurance, as it's a seasonal position! That's part of my problem too, I have AMAZING insurance (low income Medicaid), & I kinda need it... I don't pay anything for my mental health/doctor appointments, my meds/methadone, or my HRT; and, if I can manage to keep it for the next year, it will also cover 100% of the SRS!! Without it I'd be paying out the nose for all that, & I wouldn't be able to afford the surgery for Lord knows how long... BUT, that being said, I'm not going to slouch around for the next year; I mean, if a good opportunity comes along, I'm not going to pass it up... I'll find a way to pay for my meds, & if the SRS has to wait, then so be it... I've waited this long, I can wait longer... Plus, I'm starting to realize how GODDAM EXPENSIVE it is to be a woman! I thought I had enough clothing, but I didn't even think about needing a bunch of bras & panties (DUH!)! And I have a lot of makeup; but I didn't really know what I was doing when I bought it, so I need all new stuff for my skin tone, etc... To say nothing of hair (when I finally have some) & skin care!!! Someone said to me in another post that this no-job thing is gonna suck cuz I'll need all these things, & I said I'll be all set... HAHAHA!! WRONG!!!
Anyway, you are so right about one thing leading to another! I never would have guessed that chatting at the shelter would lead to making snow again, but I'll take it! One last season in the snow... And who knows where THAT will lead?? [emoji4]

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Congrats on the great job lead! 

It might seem annoying how management/supervisory jobs go to people with more experience, but once you're on the other side of that coin it can work to your advantage.  Around the time your body isn't as thrilled to be out in winter weather you might be managing the crew, more office time and less in the blizzard. 

Health insurance doesn't have to become an additional glass ceiling.  Some employers offer amazing benefits.  And some don't.  Smart companies are figuring out they can use stronger benefits to attract and retain the best workforce to get ahead of competitors.  If an employer does the bare minimum required by law they are probably making strategic mistakes and have high employee turnover for a reason.

Clothing... before I donate mine to a local charity I'll be checking with the local transgender community for FtM who are my size and might want the style of clothing I used to wear.  Goes both ways - you might find a local FtM looking to get rid of perfectly good clothing.