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Am I being petty?

Started by Julia1996, September 30, 2017, 09:24:08 AM

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Julia1996

Hi everyone. So because I cut hair people always ask me to do their hair. My brother's friends were especially bad about it. Whenever I was doing something or trying to watch a movie or something one of his friends was always wanting me to cut his hair. I finally got really annoyed over it and I told my brother I wasn't cutting his friend's hair anymore. He told me it never took me long to do it and asked what was the big deal. I told him since it wasn't a big deal I would teach him how and he could do it. His friends all have buzz cuts and those are easy so I taught Tyler how to do some basic clipper cuts. Really, you would have to be a total spaz to mess those up.

So problem solved and his friends stopped bothering me. So last night he cut one of his friend's hair and after he finished the guy told him thanks and handed him $20.00 Tyler told him he didn't have to pay him but he said he would have to pay if he went to a salon and it was for his time. When he left I asked Tyler if he always paid him. He said sure, all his friends did. No wonder he was so willing to cut their hair! The little ->-bleeped-<-! That really pissed me off! None of his friends EVER offered to pay me Dick!

He said there was no reason to get mad and tried to give me the $20.00. I don't give a fart in a windstorm about the actual money. It's the idea that they were so WILLING to offer to pay him. He said he never told them they had to pay him and he's not a hairstylist or anything but it's cool that they pay him for his time. His time! So it comes down to that! Because Tyler is a guy his time is worth something and he needs paid for it. But I'm female so my time is worthless. I have nothing better to do but polish my nails. Tyler told me I needed to take a pill or something and that I was being totally petty and irrational. I don't think so!

So, let me ask you all, am I just being petty about the whole thing?
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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AnneK

While I can't speak about his friends paying him and not you, many people expect friends or relatives to provide free service.  I get it for computers, where I'm supposed to fix someone's computer for free.  Hey people if you're asking someone to provide service, that others pay for, then you should too.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.
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amandam

You are not being petty. He probably said no way dude, pay me. He's not as nice as you.
Out of the closet to family 4-2019
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Artesia

I don't think you are being petty.  I do think that you are yet another victim of the gender pay gap in America.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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rmaddy

You're not being petty.

My daughter is a hairstylist.  I rarely ask her to cut my hair because she has enough on her plate.  If I do, I always pay her, even though I paid for her education.  A person's work is their dignity.
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Lady Sarah

I don't understand why they wanted you to cut their hair for free, but are willing to pay Tyler. It makes no sense, unless they were already paying him, but he did not want them paying him in front of you. That makes him a weasel. His response clearly shows what he thinks of women.
And, we get back to the "being treated like a child" thing. I am sick of being treated like a child, as every woman should be. Phillip told me I know ->-bleeped-<-, when he said Chrysler and Chevy are the same company. He never looked it up online until my mother told him he was wrong. He yelled and argued about it for two days, and only questioned himself after being corrected by a 70 year old woman, but I was wrong?
I don't know what I would do without Phillip, but he drives me nuts some times.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
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Laurie

  I think you properly hit the nail on the head with the male vs female discrimination. It has been going on since time began.

  Oh btw Julia, could you cut and style my hair for me? I could send it to you in a box. Just kidding Julia the shipping cost would be more than my hair is worth. I'll just go buy some more.

April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Julia1996

Quote from: Lady Sarah on September 30, 2017, 07:48:38 PM
I don't understand why they wanted you to cut their hair for free, but are willing to pay Tyler. It makes no sense, unless they were already paying him, but he did not want them paying him in front of you. That makes him a weasel. His response clearly shows what he thinks of women.
And, we get back to the "being treated like a child" thing. I am sick of being treated like a child, as every woman should be. Phillip told me I know ->-bleeped-<-, when he said Chrysler and Chevy are the same company. He never looked it up online until my mother told him he was wrong. He yelled and argued about it for two days, and only questioned himself after being corrected by a 70 year old woman, but I was wrong?
I don't know what I would do without Phillip, but he drives me nuts some times.

Yeah if it's some "male" topic like cars or sports guys will argue to the death even if they are dead wrong. It's funny how they want to treat us like children but then they act like big babies themselves.  Tyler is and always has been a good older brother, I say that because I know a lot of people who's brothers are really mean to them and I know people who can't stand their siblings. Now that I said that, I will add that Tyler's attitude towards women leaves a lot to be desired. My dad isn't much better unfortunately.  And with my dad I AM his child and I'm a girl so I really have almost no chance of him not treating me like an idiot child.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Julia1996

Quote from: Laurie on September 30, 2017, 08:01:20 PM
  I think you properly hit the nail on the head with the male vs female discrimination. It has been going on since time began.

  Oh btw Julia, could you cut and style my hair for me? I could send it to you in a box. Just kidding Julia the shipping cost would be more than my hair is worth. I'll just go buy some more.

Lol! You are hilarious. Send it in a box. LOL!
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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LizK

Hi Julia

No I don't think you are being petty...taken advantage of sure...but you are not being petty. I am sure your brother would not be happy not being payed for a skill he has...it is disrespectful and if you have the expectation that women's time has no value then why would you ever think to pay us?

it is a weird world...
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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elkie-t

If you do 'cutting hair' as a business, meaning - you actually are in a business of cutting hair, then - nobody should ask you to provide them a free service. Next time someone asks you to cut his hair, tell him - $10 (or whatever is slightly below a going rate at a barber salon).

Or barter. I love to barter. I am taking care of computers, and you can take care of my (whatever your business is) needs - or I take gifts/bribes in the form of booze or chocolate candies (or whatever you like).

As far as him being offered money, and you weren't - life ain't fair, but it isn't wrong to demand payment upfront.

It's kind of touchy subject though


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