Therapists are great but when it comes down to it, if you're trying to figure out if you are a transsexual or not, it is completely self-diagnosed. Only you can know. I think the number one question you need to ask yourself is why do you want to transition? If you can answer that question, whether or not to go on HRT will be easy peasy.

One of the things to think about is this how you want to live.

You will be a woman every minute of every day.
You will be regarded as a woman by other woman and by men
You will never be able to go back to being a guy.
Society will regard you as female with the advantages and disadvantages that may have.

You will dress as female, no more throwing on a T and a pair of jeans and not bothering to wash and shave to go to work as some guys do.

If you look like an unkempt woman you will be disadvantaged, unlike unkempt looking guys.

You will loose upper body strength with all that entails, for example, I can no longer change a car tyre, I have to get help. I just don't have the strength.

OK these are extreme and yes there are exceptions to everything but if you can in all of you own personal soul, accept that this scenario is for you. Then you are ready.

It is very true that a gender therapist will not 'diagnose' trans*status. But they can push you into thinking of such questions as above.

While some people do detransition , I get the feeling that it can be devastating and difficult.

When I went FT I realised that there was no way at all that I could go back. I would be a laughing stock and my career would be finished. While people can accept what I have gone through and support me, any reversal would be regarded as that I am a joke.

Fortunately I am extremely happy as me, and my dysmorphia has gone.

BUT, remember the most important thing. Living as your desired gender does not solve your problems. Your problems in life go with you. Those you have to deal with no matter what your decision is.

Sadly the inability to understand and deal with that fact is one reason that a number of people who do transition end up in a self harm situation.

Cindy

up until the point of deciding to transition I wasn't sure, but my story go's a little like this.

As a lil kid I was rather different in fact weird or even strange, I didn't have a true understanding of gender till maybe 12, there were small queue's to gender like I didn't like any of the a-typical stuff and I hung out more with girls than boys, which was why I was referred to being weird , when I started getting an idea as to what gender was I tried the boys thing's I remember wanting to play junior football, and even forced my way into getting into it, I went 1 day than quit, my dad was not happy either as he forked out the change, after that 1 moment my issues got worse, school problems, family problems, just non-stop, I even ended up in a couple hospitals, and even juvenile hall. knew  how I felt but I didn't know even what transgendered/transsexual was, it wasn't until 19 and the internet that I was able to put 2 and 2 together but I was still not sure, but I was sure I needed to talk to someone, that's when I decided to see professional help, and though the help I got wasn't totally knowledgeable they helped me to figure everything out and decide to go ahead and make the commitment, as by this point my confusion turned into a serious situation that needed attention, in fact my therapist though not suppose to, felt I had to do it ,as she feared for my health and life, after that commitment I had no regrets, sure I had struggles but I was happier and finally got to be me, which I hadn't been in a long time.
I hope this lil bit help's

I was sure I needed to transition,it was something I dreamed of since I was 7.I thought I could manage a partial transition by living and socialising in role at nights and weekends and while I found it a rewarding and liberating experience it was not enough and I went full time 22 years ago.Good luck and best wishes

Happy to read this thread four years after it was started. This question has been on my mind, and I find it relieving that many of you weren't 100% sure at first. I think the need to feel 100% sure has kept me from exploring this part of me.


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Quote from: Makalii on July 21, 2013, 06:20:31 PM
Thank you all so much!! Your replies are so very insightful and helpful! 
I think I'm going to ask my mother if I can talk to gender therapist. ^_^

Outstanding first step.  Best of luck!

The first thing I recommend you do is look up stories of transition regret. Understand why transition, or some aspects of transition (like surgery), might not work out. This is absolutely vital! Know all the possible consequences it can cause to your health, all the possible complications, and all the wrong reasons to want to undergo this process.

Second, if medical transition is what you are considering, then it is important to know your body, especially your sex organs. How do you feel towards your body? How do you prefer to be with someone sexually? These are all factors, especially for those born male who like having vaginal intercourse with women. HRT can cause erectile dysfunction, and SRS will most certainly make the penetrative act a bit... difficult. I don't mean to make any assumptions about your sexuality, of course. Whether it is with a man or a woman, if you prefer to use the equipment God gave you, then transition (or full, surgical transition) may be out of the question.

Personally, I believe that if you have a deep, visceral feeling of dissociation from your body, then you have better reason to consider medical transition than someone who does not have this feeling, since you are more likely to benefit from HRT and surgery. If you begin to feel more attached to yourself while on hormones, then I think it is safe to say that transitioning is an effective treatment for you.

Think carefully, and be wise in your decisions.

If you are worried about puberty, start with some T-blockers and go from there. They halt the flow of testosterone and cause some mild feminizing effects. While taking those, do your research and talk it over with your therapist. Analyze your motivations and go from there.

Quote from: Cindy on July 22, 2013, 02:03:21 AM

You will dress as female, no more throwing on a T and a pair of jeans and not bothering to wash and shave to go to work as some guys do.

If you look like an unkempt woman you will be disadvantaged, unlike unkempt looking guys.

All I wear are band t-shirts and jeans, and I hardly ever wear makeup. Maybe people look down on that, but that's their problem for having backwards beauty standards I'm my own woman and I dress how I damn well please lol

But you do make a good point. Be prepared to have people judge you on your appearance more so than before, and be prepared to learn how to not care.

I'm one of those people who was sure I was trans from a very young age. I didn't have the language to express it, but I can remember hating my name and voice and crying about being forced to conform to my assigned gender as young as 3-4.

That said, I'm non-binary, which complicates things in the medical department. I was 100% on board with socially transitioning, and I did so as soon as I got a trans-friendly employer. At that point, it honestly felt like a choice between coming out or killing myself, because the dysphoria was just that bad. I'm 100% sure I want top surgery, once I can afford it. But I was really torn about hormones. Hormones are kind of a mixed bag for me, as they are for many non-binary people, and I wasn't sure if they'd make my dysphoria better or worse.

Because the permanent effects I really wanted (such as a deeper voice) generally happen faster than the effects I'm not sure about (facial hair, balding), I decided that it would be worth the risk to try them for at least a short period of 1-2 years. I'm still not sure if I want to stay on T indefinitely, but I'm happy with the results so far, and comforted by the fact that I have the option of stopping if I start feeling dysphoria in the other direction.

Sometimes there is no perfect solution, and you have to weigh the benefits against the drawbacks. But once you make peace with that, decisions get easier.

I've always been sure, but repressed so much.  It was very hard to accept for me.  This third round im not suppressing myself anymore.

I would say I was 90-95% sure at the beginning, now I am around 70-65%. Not because of the process itself but because of other people, mainly my ex. Losing my relationship due to this has clouded my judgment about transition...And it shouldn't have. So I'm still doing it despite having doubts every single day. I just take it one day at a time: Don't know what my final destination is but today I'm taking the pills.

I won't say I realized I was Trans at a very young age because at 3-4 I obviously didn't know what Trans was, but I knew I was not a boy and that something was totally screwed up. I have been told by my dad that I was unbelievably resistant to anything masculine as a young child. I transitioned at age 17. I never had any doubts and I absolutely have never had any regrets.