Hi all.

Introduction?

I'm ... Alyssa. Okay, that's actually the first time I've ever said that to anybody. Perhaps someday soon I'll be able to say that and really mean it, beyond just the scope of the internet.

I've listed myself under mtf-ts mainly because that's kind of how I'm feeling today. I'm not totally sure that that's the right path for me. I guess I'm about 50-50 or a bit more right now. It's gone up and down for years, and I've really wanted to get into therapy but haven't felt ready to make a real well-considered decision. But lately I feel really ready to decide what path I want to take, and I hope to start therapy soon, toward either transitioning or else finding ways to become content with living primarily as a male. I've browsed through this site and various others over the years, but never had any reason to join. But now, I'm trying to find out as much as I can about how I might best resolve my issues with gender, and it's just great to see such a diversity of experience as exists on these fora.

The tag on the forum says "If you are new to the website or the forums and wish to publicly introduce yourself, post here. Tell us your story, how you came to join our family, life lessons learned, and tell us what makes the world a special place for you." Well, that's pretty ambitious -- I'm pretty sure I don't have time for all of that now! But I hope that I've done at least some of that.

Cheers!

-Alyssa

Hello Alyssa and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink

Hi Alyssa, welcome to Susan's. Sounds like you're making a good start. Take things in your own time, talk to a therapist and make sure you know where you're going before jumping in with both feet. I'm sure you'll do fine.

Karen Lyn

Thanks for the replies!

I'm sure I won't end up doing anything I'll regret. I'm not usually a very impulsive person, at least not until I really feel like I know what's going on in a situation. I think the thing I'd regret most right now is doing nothing -- the possibility that I'll just let time and complacency make my decisions for me. But I have contacted a therapist who seems to have the kind of approach that will really be good for me, and who comes recommended from a friend who is transitioning now. So I'm really excited about moving my life forward.

I've spent several years working to figure out everything else in my life -- that is, finding the things I love and give me life in work and recreation and friends. I've dedicated lots of time to the outdoors, which I learned to love from my outdoorsy mother, and to music, which I learned to love from my musical father; and I've started graduate school, which is terribly hard but incredibly rewarding. I've got a great group of friends outside of school, many of whom I've come out to and who have been absolutely wonderful in their support.

I had a very difficult childhood, though not for the most part because of my family. I just had a terrible time trying to figure out how to fit in to the world, and so I felt really isolated. I was pretty badly depressed though my teenage years and into my early 20's, but the last few years have given me some taste of success and fulfillment in life that I hadn't had as much before. So that's why I feel I'm ready to deal with these issues now.

BTW -- I'm kind of dyslexic; I mix up phone numbers and stuff like that all the time. Ummm... the acronyms MTF and FTM totally short-circuit my brain. Is there any way I can switch my designation? I accidentally selected FTM when I registered.