Quote from: Rachel_Christina on October 07, 2017, 09:12:25 AM
Oh I would have bullied all of you nerds! :@

Lol, I wouldn't expect anything less Xena.

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 07, 2017, 09:15:48 AM
Lol, I wouldn't expect anything less Xena.

Haha no I was relatively nice. I was nice with everyone.
But if I was with guys a new they where sassing someone for being a little different, there was nothing I could do.
Without jeopardising my own defence anyway.

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 07, 2017, 07:04:30 AM
I really don't understand the obssesion so many guys have with working out. If I didn't know better I would think it's an addiction. My boyfriend, brother and dad are all gym rats. They spend untold hours at the gym. They have all kinds of protein powders and protein bars. I understand wanting to look good but the constant weight lifting seems a little obsessive to me.

I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head why physical conditioning is good.  None are gender specific.

• Feel better
• Improved sleep
• Resistance to injury
• Strengthened immune system and disease resistance
• Stronger bones
• Increased insulin sensitivity and so:
    Resistance to metabolic syndrome and all of what follows including diabetes, obesity, heart disease, and dementia
• Improved brain function
• And maybe most importantly it just makes everything else easier

I never pretended, but I was successfully "overlooked".

I did sympathize with the other misfits in school, the people who didn't fit in, the effeminate boys and masculine girls etc. However, I had my own problems at home and whenever I left the house with people persecuting me (for reasons other than anything trans) and a part of me was glad that any negative attention wasn't focused on me for once if it was directed at someone else.

I didn't oppress anyone else, or try to compensate, nor was I especially jealous of the "normal" ones. I saw myself as almost completely isolated from these people and that included almost everyone around me.

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on October 07, 2017, 09:29:37 AM
Haha no I was relatively nice. I was nice with everyone.
But if I was with guys a new they where sassing someone for being a little different, there was nothing I could do.
Without jeopardising my own defence anyway.

I feel that's pretty common, since we all worry that if we do something to buck the crowd we will be next, and that what befalls us will be far worse than what we are witnessing given the secrets we carry should they come out.

I certainly never hung out with the guys who would harass people (who in my weird island private school weren't exactly cool themselves by 99% of the country's standards), but I didn't really stand up for people either. I concentrated on being left alone as much as I could, and that meant not poking my head out of the sand. (It also helped that I didn't have a lot of pity for the most common targets I remember, as they would bring it on themselves and were pretty big jerks as well, simply "uncool" jerks.) Though I never really saw anything serious in the slightest happen, so I don't know what I would have done if I had seen someone actually getting physically beat up or treated as cruelly as happens to many people--I hope I would have done something but I just don't know. (Rich snob bullying just isn't the same thing has homophobic or racist jock bullying. )

I've always been sympathetic, though not outwardly when I was younger. 

No one was out back when I was in high school and trans people were almost totally invisible until Renee Richards story broke.

Endured the jokes but didn't join in.  I didn't say anything about her for fear of appearing too sympathetic and outing myself.

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In high school I acted as a regular cis guy mostly. I wasn't feminine at all, but I did have some weird habits. I was always the one with the strange hair, I didn't like going out to clubs, most of my friends were girls. I was more into games that girls and sex. I was the weird guy, but I got on well with almost everyone, so I wasn't bullied. I did overcompensate, and I'd love to have done a lot of feminine things, which would have made people thing I was gay.

During the last two years I did try harder to belong to the men's group. I did a few things that I'm not proud of. Mocked of the weird ones, specially one of my class mates. She had a lovely personality, very unique, and we made fun of her because of that. We used to call her lesbian. I don't remember why. I hope I can meet her again just to tell her I'm very sorry. A few girls probable wouldn't believe I'm the same person they met. It could be fun to meet them again.

Curiously, appart from that particular girl, I was pretty gay friendly. I had little to no exposicion to trans people, so I can't say how I'd have behaved towards them.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s was not all that easy, it was much safer to keep everything to myself. If you were male you were expected to harass gays and lesbians. My small town high school was not the place to be myself. I was harassed for the way I expressed myself from the first day after I moved. And the teachers didn't care, even got punished for defending myself. The only sport I tried took less than a week before I realized I was only there so I could be harassed as a team event. It was not until I was attacked at lunch, that I realized my survival depended on being sympathetic to the "social rules" that were enforced by the 95% of the faculty and students of a specific ancestry and religious cult that dominated this community. On the other hand, my father put me through "therapy" and countless psychoactive prescriptions. Even had me enrolled in scouts and martial arts, I only assume to force masculinity on me. Again I felt safer not talking about anything. Besides if I could kick some butt, maybe I could slow or stop the harassment. Maybe a little. I didn't just get into little disagreements. I was in full blown fights, besides a few lucky incidents where I was able to flee or ended it before I was hurt. I have a paranoia where ever I go because of my young experiences, I'm only out to some close friends and limited family.

I'm glad there is more acceptance today, and could have never imagined being treated as a human 25 years ago. I only hope this progress does not end.

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I can't recall ever putting anyone down for their identity. I wouldn't swear my life that it never happened, but I sure can't recall any such incident.

Denise

In primary school I had a friend I dressed up with.  In high school, I generally avoided "sissies" and I tried to act manly to avoid bullying.  I didn't pick on anyone, though, and I did converse with boys who were regarded as sissy, if they started the conversation.  I'm not sure how successful I was at appearing manly, as some boys called me "Homo" and I was beaten up a lot.  Come to think of it, although they were sometimes teased, I can't remember the obvious sissies being beaten up.  Perhaps acting like my true self would have been better for me.
 
On one occasion, I even stood up for a friend who was challenged to a fight.  With hindsight I think he may have been gay, although I think he was quite manly. A school magazine photo shows him in drag and he later had a girlfriend who said he looked like a poof.  I remember that he ignored her but she was always fussing over him.  He later became a stage manager and he died very young, I found when I looked him up on the Web.  I once composed a love poem for him but I swear it was a joke.  The poem was intercepted by a teacher who really hated me, but although she treated me very badly on other occasions, she just used the poem to tease me.  When my friend was challenged to a fight he actually shook.  I challenged his would-be opponent myself.  With hindsight it was funny, my friend shaking while I acted tough but was almost pissing myself.  Amazingly, the bully backed off.  That was probably my only successful manly act.

I wept when I read Rose's post:

Quote from: rose on October 06, 2017, 02:41:17 PM
I'm force to pretend that I'm cis guy because otherwise I will face death arrest torture etc you name it

......................

I know trans girl who look exactly like you she was arrest and torture and later killed by her father for being trans

I'm hiding myself so I don't face the same fate
I want to escape alive

I have read other posts by members in the same situation.  Their problems certainly put my problems in perspective.  Let us all sometimes spare a thought for trans people who have bigger problems than which loos they can use.

I remember there was a small period of time, a couple of years maybe, when I was 11-13 when I finally enjoyed being "normal" and accepted in school after being taunted for being a sissy up until 5th grade...And I used to make fun of gay people (while being attracted to guys myself) and nerds just because that's what the others did and I wanted to retain the privilege of fitting in. But that didn't last long after that, I went back to hanging out with my super gay best friend and became an outcast and a "sissy" again. I didn't care, I didn't really fit in with the others, and I had a lot of fun with the other misfits. The really bad year was my last year of high school when I was bullied non stop. Then I went to college and things got better.

It seems that I've tried to overcompensate with overly male activities.  In high school, a small private catholic school, I did all the guy things.  Played football, baseball and ran track.  I was in the jock group (even though I never overdid the weightlifting like some did) but stayed out of the bullying that tended to be rampant from that group.  With it being a private religious school in the 80s, there certainly weren't any LGBT persons out in the school.  I even up for Homecoming King as a senior.  While all that was going on, I'd sneak my sisters panties when I could and had the feeling that I was just faking the whole thing.  But I really did enjoy playing sports.

Then, of course, after high school I joined the Air Force.  While going out and doing the guy stuff, I had a locked drawer in my room where I kept clothes that I'd wear when my roommate was gone.  I still really enjoy fishing and shooting but I've come to realize that the things I enjoy aren't necessarily the exclusive purview of guys like it used to be.

So long story short, I've done the guy things but did it more because I enjoyed it.  But that just led to more questioning for me since I could never reconcile my enjoyment of guy things and the feeling that I don't like being a guy. 

I've gone through a lot of phases. I got into punk rock when I was like 12 and I could be loud and outrageous when hanging with my friends outside of school, but in school I kept to myself and I was either picked on or ignored. I called people "gay" once in a while but it was the late 90's and it was a popular insult and I was young and dumb. I never actually picked on any gay people though and gave them ->-bleeped-<- about themselves, I would never do that. I went to a suburban school though and there wasn't really much trans visibility when I graduated in 2004, no one was out as gay or anything when I was in high school, but I know of people who came out as gay, trans, and lesbian after graduating, some of who I am good friends with (one is ftm that I actually tried hitting on once  ) back then most of my friends were male, the only girls I would talk to were my friends' girlfriends, but I got along with them really well and those girls are actually to this day some of my closest friends, I've posted pics of them with me on here before.

once I hit college though I started getting depressed, and I kinda started an alter-ego to try and fight it off, a confident cocky always right loudmouth guitarist in a very ramones influenced punk band lol. People who really knew me though knew that that's not the kind of person I really was. I think most of my friends knew I was confused, I dunno. As I got older and started to drink then I kept up with being a loudmouth and I got more vulgar as I started hanging out with some more masculine guys that had a very bad sense of humor. I am super embarrassed of some of the things I've said around these guys, I did try to keep up with them in a way, but I've made it a point over the last couple years to really distance myself from them and now they barely talk to me.

So yes, I guess I did over compensate in ways, I guess by being a glutton with a bad attitude, and while I did joke around with the guys and use slurs, I never picked on anyone for actually being gay or trans. I do feel awful for a lot of things I've done, I was actually just thinking this morning about how I can't wait til I can start my new facebook page and get rid of my old male one