I will have a meeting with the highest bosses in my company. And some other people.

I've met some of them already. Wore my binder and had t-shirt, hoodie and jeans. Nobody said anything about it.

But now I need to be casual business. I've bought a black business jacket. And two shirts. I'm planning to go as myself. It's the first time I will se the other people.

Is this a bad idea? To go as Tony? Maybe people will be confused if they know me as a woman for a year and then bam I'm a man.

I was thinking this is a perfect way to test my company's policy of discrimination.

I feel really really uncomfortable in womens cloths. I tried a woman's business jacket but I was feeling like I was cross dressing.


Tony

I've tried my outfit on this morning. I feel good. I feel handsome. I will present male in the meetings. If anyone has questions I'll answer them. If anyone is stupid I'll bang the code of conduct and policy of discrimination on their heads.

I will not tell them I am Tony. I will tell them my female name so far, because that is the name in the invitations.

But coming out this way, through HQ, and if I am accepted, I'm sure I will, my "small" bosses need to accept me too or I'll use my contacts with the HQ to slap them in the face with the company's code of conduct.



Tony

Sounds good.

Be confident and pleasant. And be understanding.

I came out much the same to many of my executives and there was natural shock and of course curiosity. People are usually too sensitive to say anything but some may ask a polite question and those questions, as long as they are not intrusive, should be answered with a polite reply.

In many ways you can advance your career by demonstrating what an understanding and considerate man you are. Firmness and Fairness are excellent qualities.

Good Luck and break a leg (as they say in the theatre)

Cindy

Something that's not clear to me is if all the people who knew you previously are aware of your status. If they are, then there shouldn't be any problem. If not, it's somewhat risky just springing this on them. Consider if you just spring it on them, the topic of the meeting might be you instead of the intended subject.

True, but if that is his avatar I suspect that they may know something is going on!

Tony only you can answer that!

I photoshopped my beard. I don't want people to recognize me at once. Haha.

But I dress in uniform at work. People in public gender me male.

I have been thinking. I will go as myself. I will tell my closest co worker about this next week so that she won't be shocked. But I guess she won't be very surprised.

I hardly own any women's cloths. Maybe some t-shirts and stuff like that.


Tony

The people I meet, some of them I met 10 years ago. Most of them has never seen me.

I hate selfies. But this is one of the shirts I will wear with my jacket.

https://imgur.com/a/NTOhM


Will 4 shirts be enough for 3 days? I hate packing for business trips. Haha

Sounds a good plan.

It sounds like a time that the bell rings and you think. "This is an opportunity in life and I should take it"

It happened to me and probably to many others. I was also gradually changing and then I had reached a more than half way mark and suddenly there was an occasion that would 'spring' me. I saw it, warned my people and let the spring be sprung.

People reacted suitably surprised if they felt that they had too but most just acted with the 'everyone is glad that is all over aren't we?'  Do get use to the "Welcome and please accept my apologies if I stumble over your name until I get my head around it all" sort of comment.

I have to say I look back at those days with great fondness. People were absolutely lovely.

Thank you Cindy. This is it.

Quote from: MeTonie on October 08, 2017, 02:15:12 AM
The people I meet, some of them I met 10 years ago. Most of them has never seen me.

I hate selfies. But this is one of the shirts I will wear with my jacket.

https://imgur.com/a/NTOhM


Will 4 shirts be enough for 3 days? I hate packing for business trips. Haha

I'm sorry but I'm laughing.

No one is going to believe that you were AFAB. You are all man. even to the beer gut! Lose that hon.
Your biggest issue will be people asking/saying "Sorry, I always thought you were a woman with that name" 'So glad to finally put a face to the name!'

Please a shirt a day. Fresh undies each day the same as socks and is there a formal dinner? In which case a pair of pants instead of jeans


Ahh,

You may need to be a little careful.

I mean this seriously believe it or not.

You are a handsome looking man. I read another post of yours about a friend falling for you, it is understandable on your looks and on how you have presented yourself on the Forum. You are a nice man and a good looking one. Women will pick up on that.
Be aware of that and have exit strategies if you need them.

Quote from: Cindy on October 08, 2017, 02:31:25 AM

I'm sorry but I'm laughing.

No one is going to believe that you were AFAB. You are all man. even to the beer gut! Lose that hon.
Your biggest issue will be people asking/saying "Sorry, I always thought you were a woman with that name" 'So glad to finally put a face to the name!'

Please a shirt a day. Fresh undies each day the same as socks and is there a formal dinner? In which case a pair of pants instead of jeans


Ahh,

Haha. Laughing is ok. Maybe some people will be confused about my name. It was a bad pic from below. Had my phone on the coffe table.

Thank you for the clothing advice.

I'm working on getting rid of the beer gut.

Quote from: Cindy on October 08, 2017, 02:38:33 AM
You may need to be a little careful.

I mean this seriously believe it or not.

You are a handsome looking man. I read another post of yours about a friend falling for you, it is understandable on your looks and on how you have presented yourself on the Forum. You are a nice man and a good looking one. Women will pick up on that.
Be aware of that and have exit strategies if you need them.

Exit strategies. I'll remember that.

Thank you very much, I guess I look better as the man I am than a pretend-to-be-a-woman that I tried for so many years.

MeTonie, you look great in your pic.  if your voice is fine noone would ever think you were anything but a cis guy.

I agree with the others Tony, you're definitely a handsome guy! Just relax & be yourself, I'm sure everything will go great.

I encountered another problem. Business Casual...do I need a tie or not? Anyone expert on these things? I am a complete novice on business language.

Quote from: mm on October 08, 2017, 07:49:12 AM
MeTonie, you look great in your pic.  if your voice is fine noone would ever think you were anything but a cis guy.

Not on T yet...sooo..

I don't have a squeeky high pitched voice. More in the middle range.

Quote from: MeTonie on October 08, 2017, 01:33:02 PM
Business Casual...do I need a tie or not? Anyone expert on these things? I am a complete novice on business language.

No, you don't need a tie for business casual.

Or, if you have any doubts, you could of course wear one and then take it off if no one else is wearing it either. But if dress code is business casual folks don't usually have tie, save for some higher ups maybe. That has been my experience at least, and I've been to quite a few events with business casual as a dress code. (Not sure if there is a lot of variation in this depending on your field and country, but if I recall your country correctly I doubt it's much different from what I see over here.)

Quote from: MeTonie on October 08, 2017, 01:33:02 PM
I encountered another problem. Business Casual...do I need a tie or not? Anyone expert on these things? I am a complete novice on business language.

Think back at what was worn at previous meetings. Ties are pretty common with suit jackets and if you wear one and nobody else does, you can always slip it off and put it in your pocket. The advantage of being male is many big pockets where you can hide mistakes. 

I'll bring a tie just in case. But I'll not wear it until I see the others.

Thank you