I went to the monthly TG support group meeting tonight intending to work through some fears, most notably my fear of coming out to my sister.  I've been thinking about this, stressing about it and crying about it all week.  I had the idea that at group, I'd be able to work through it.  Nope.  I was a mess, just introducing myself, I started crying, and I've been there a few times already with no tears.  My friend Julie asked me through text what I wanted to talk about, so an hour later she asks about the stresses of coming out to family.  The conversation starts, this is my chance to speak up.  Within 30 seconds of just listening I was openly bawling.  I cried for a good ten minutes too.  I got hugs and support, but never got around to why I was crying.  I was such a mess.  Hoping to get a handle on this soon.

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 14, 2017, 02:16:19 AM
I went to the monthly TG support group meeting tonight intending to work through some fears, most notably my fear of coming out to my sister.  I've been thinking about this, stressing about it and crying about it all week.  I had the idea that at group, I'd be able to work through it.  Nope.  I was a mess, just introducing myself, I started crying, and I've been there a few times already with no tears.  My friend Julie asked me through text what I wanted to talk about, so an hour later she asks about the stresses of coming out to family.  The conversation starts, this is my chance to speak up.  Within 30 seconds of just listening I was openly bawling.  I cried for a good ten minutes too.  I got hugs and support, but never got around to why I was crying.  I was such a mess.  Hoping to get a handle on this soon.

Hugs & love.

We're dealing with some of the most powerful emotions, but getting them out,  sharing them, finding and having support are the healthy way of living with them. Thank you for sharing. X

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Hi Bari Jo,

  Isn't it awful when you are paralyzed with emotion? It happens. You almost sound like me in one of my last 3 therapy sessions, except I was able to talk most of the time. There were several times though where I couldn't answer him. Things he talked about or asked that just choked me up so tight, words could not get out. Even if I had been able to say something, I would have just broken down worse.
  You can try talking to someone you can talk  one on one about it. Perhaps that friend that tried to help. Perhaps that will break the ice for you and the words will flow again. To hold it in doesn't help. I know this thing too. I've held some things in far too long and now I need help for my depression.  Talk to someone. Get it out. Your sister is coming and she is going to have to be told. You can do this Bari,  I'm sure you can. It will be a relief when you do.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

I should have added my friend and I did go out for ice cream afterwards.  I don't think either of us wanted it, but it allowed me to talk with her about it.  I cried a little more, but at least I talked with her about it.  Yes I can do this, I must do this.

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 14, 2017, 02:56:22 AM
I should have added my friend and I did go out for ice cream afterwards.  I don't think either of us wanted it, but it allowed me to talk with her about it.  I cried a little more, but at least I talked with her about it.  Yes I can do this, I must do this.

  See? things are looking up already.

We have all dealt with this issue. For me as a late transitioner, I have no need to impress anyone and I am going to do what I need to do. If they cannot accept me, then so be it. Some people in my family accept me and others do not. I just must be myself and I am happy with it.

Well... part is probably the hormones, if you don't know why. The whole transition conversation is never an easy one. If you have a friend that could be there with you at your place when you invite your sister, it may feel easier to let her in on it. Honestly, it rarely goes as bad as we foresee it. Most of the time it's better... And there's no rule saying they get one shot at understanding. It takes some people time and others no time at all.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on October 14, 2017, 05:29:11 PMHonestly, it rarely goes as bad as we foresee it.

Bari Jo, for what it's worth, when I finally got around to telling my old sister Patti she just laughed, said "no kidding? knew something was up with you for a long time""