Quote from: Skittlez on October 04, 2017, 09:37:22 PM
Hope this doesn't come off as bitchy I dont mean it that way lol, but its really not that complicated, i started HRT in high school and am 22 and have had several relationships with straight men, not just straight guys but conservative go trump guys. Some guys just see you as a woman, not a dude with tits. But when we do make it as complicated as some of the discussion going on in this thread kinda is i feel like it fuels other mens perception that it SHOULD be more complicated then it really is. And thus makes it harder for us to find guys.  Maybe I'm wording it wrong and it sounds super duper confusing, I'm horrible at typing out thoughts. But anywho what I'm trying to say is: Why would you be floored by this? You're a chick. I mean  men aren't attracted to genitals, no body married or <not allowed> anyone just based off genitals, people are attracted by what you look like. i sometimes cant believe  whenever I hear people being floored by this its sooooo not complicated, I'm currently in a relationship with  a pretty ripped 'alspha' type dude that goes to my gym and he didn't care, hes definitely not googling "hot ts women" lol  I mean a girl having a penis sucks, but no more then  a girl  missing a limb or something, perse its just a minor physical flaw/setback.

When a  guy says he's straight he means he likes women. Once finding out you have a penis he may not want to sleep with you but that doesnt change how you look. lol I've actually never had a guy walk out after finding out what I had where my vagina is suppose to be , I'm pre op still tho :/ and live in republican ass Indiana but not one of these guys has ever  tried to play with my ummm yeah that.

my advice: (I know you didnt ask it haha) buuuut, just enjoy it while you're young and super  pretty Dont make it seem too abnormal or weird, or they'll join the other side that sees us as men with tits, and won't admit that they find some trans girls attractive. which is pretty ridiculous I know haha. Sometimes I forget I even have a penis, it's just apart of my womanhood but It's never got in the way of my relationships or dating life, sex life yes. But there are ways around that if both parties are okay with it, so far ( and I date ALOT) so good. But, it definitely would have been a different story had I made it a bigger deal then the guys did, they'd probably would have second guessed the relationship had I did...

Thank you for your input. You're right, I know that he's attracted to me because I'm a woman. It's just that he's the first guy that I've been with that has known and I'm just getting accustomed to that reality: that a lot of guys really don't care. I'm also that sort of person that likes to deconstruct the simplest things in life and make them far more complicated than they need to be :/

But my partner and I would like to include more men in our intimate life, so I'll have plenty of time to get used to it lol

I'm glad things have worked out well for you. I don't see this post as bitchy, I see it as possibly dangerous to those just starting transition. I'm sorry but being pre-op IS a big deal. Many transwomen have been severely beaten or killed when a guy found out she had a penis. It's totally great the guys you date are so open minded and accepting and think the fact you have a penis is no big deal. But there are LOTS of guys who think it IS a big deal and some have the capacity for violence. The attitude of " I have a penis is no big deal and if there's a problem it's his problem) could get you killed. A guy could very easily make it very much your problem.

Quote from: Julia1996 on September 26, 2017, 06:13:06 AM
My boyfriend is straight. I wouldn't say he's attracted to trans women though. He didn't know I was trans when we started dating. When I told him ,he wasn't thrilled about it and I assumed that was the last I would see of him but he called me a week later.

That was a similar situation with me Julia, my husband is straight, not particularly attracted to trans women, he didn't know I was trans when we started dating, but attracted to me as a woman and was a bit shocked when I told him, but I'm post-op, he probably wouldn't have continued to date me if he knew from the start, but he only ever knew me as a woman, it's history now and we never discuss it, we got engaged and got married, we're now just a normal happily married couple, these days he is probably more interested in my cooking and housewife skills than my distance trans history, he is just a typical straight guy that's only interested in women.

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 05, 2017, 08:10:04 AM
I'm glad things have worked out well for you. I don't see this post as bitchy, I see it as possibly dangerous to those just starting transition. I'm sorry but being pre-op IS a big deal. Many transwomen have been severely beaten or killed when a guy found out she had a penis. It's totally great the guys you date are so open minded and accepting and think the fact you have a penis is no big deal. But there are LOTS of guys who think it IS a big deal and some have the capacity for violence. The attitude of " I have a penis is no big deal and if there's a problem it's his problem) could get you killed. A guy could very easily make it very much your problem.

Quoting to emphasize this post!!!

As most of us have figured out by now, labels are more of a guideline than a hard rule, and quickly break down when the lines begin to blur.

I am a born male who identifies as transgender, wanting nothing more than to have a biological, genetic female body. But so far, despite that identity and wish, I am attracted exclusively to women. Does that mean if I transitioned I would be a lesbian? Does that mean, if I am actually a woman's brain inside a man's body, that I am already lesbian/gay for being attracted to women? It's kind of ridiculous if you tried to make it fit, but it's also kind of amusing. So I guess you could say I am still a straight man since I have not even started HRT yet. And I am attracted to trans women because they are women. The only time I have ever felt even remotely attracted to a man was when he was extremely feminine, as in some Japanese "Visual Kei" rock stars. It's funny how I, still in the closet, can openly discuss with another straight man how hot Japanese Visual Kei rock stars were, despite them being men, and it doesn't seem weird. So maybe it is a better logic to describe people as being attracted toward masculine or feminine rather than being attracted toward men or women. But even that wouldn't be a perfect solution, because I am sure there are people out there who are attracted to both masculine women and feminine women, but would be thoroughly uninterested in any kind of man, or any kind of trans,  even after the surgery.

On a side note, I'm actually hoping that I can learn to be attracted to men after I complete my transition, as part of my transition. I really don't know where that hope comes from.

Quote from: Nevoxia on October 19, 2017, 01:20:02 AM
As most of us have figured out by now, labels are more of a guideline than a hard rule, and quickly break down when the lines begin to blur.

I am a born male who identifies as transgender, wanting nothing more than to have a biological, genetic female body. But so far, despite that identity and wish, I am attracted exclusively to women. Does that mean if I transitioned I would be a lesbian? Does that mean, if I am actually a woman's brain inside a man's body, that I am already lesbian/gay for being attracted to women? It's kind of ridiculous if you tried to make it fit, but it's also kind of amusing. So I guess you could say I am still a straight man since I have not even started HRT yet. And I am attracted to trans women because they are women. The only time I have ever felt even remotely attracted to a man was when he was extremely feminine, as in some Japanese "Visual Kei" rock stars. It's funny how I, still in the closet, can openly discuss with another straight man how hot Japanese Visual Kei rock stars were, despite them being men, and it doesn't seem weird. So maybe it is a better logic to describe people as being attracted toward masculine or feminine rather than being attracted toward men or women. But even that wouldn't be a perfect solution, because I am sure there are people out there who are attracted to both masculine women and feminine women, but would be thoroughly uninterested in any kind of man, or any kind of trans,  even after the surgery.

On a side note, I'm actually hoping that I can learn to be attracted to men after I complete my transition, as part of my transition. I really don't know where that hope comes from.

Weeeeeell as much as I don't really want to admit it, I do feel like bodies play a huge role in attraction. I identified myself as a transgender female before starting transitioning but I didn't really look like a woman, and I wouldn't blame a guy for not being attracted to me because of it. This guy I was with, he was obviously attracted to my body (most of it), and having breasts definitely made for a more convincing female body to him than a lack thereof.

It's one of those things that is really complicated and not complicated at the same time. It is as black and white as "men/male bodies and women/female bodies" AND as grey and blurred as "masculine/feminine attributes." If you're familiar at all with the Buddhist riddles that monks are supposed to meditate upon, it's something like that.

And in response to your hope to be attracted to men. Well, I'll say first that I don't think sexuality works that way. If you're not attracted to someone, sexually than you're not attracted to them. You can't really make yourself like something that you don't like. But maybe fem guys are just your type? If you can see yourself actually having sex with a guy like that or are curious to try then I'd say there's a fair chance that you might be bisexual. But there is also the pressure that you might be feeling that in order to have your identity as a woman validated you must be attracted to men which might be causing you to hope this. My advice? Try it and see how you like it and then go from there. There's really only one way to find out. And don't be too hard on yourself if it turns out that you don't. I'm partnered with a woman, presently, and I don't feel any less female because of it.

I think what most here are experiencing is the fact that straight men, heterosexual men, are in fact attracted to women. Being post-op, or pre-op complicates that to a greater degree in the case of pre-op, and lesser degree in the case of post op.
In my case, l was having frequent sex with different male partners who were never aware of my medical history, pretty much as soon as l was completely healed after my srs. I never told my first husband of ten years as it never had much relevance.  I didn't tell my second husband, (a marriage which also lasted ten years ), until years after our divorce. How that came about is another story and bears no relevance here.
I did tell my third husband in an effort to dissuade him, (didn't work), as l had a feeling that marrying him would be a mistake. It was.
I also told my current hubby of almost 18 years now, when it became apparent that we were deeply in love and that there was a potential for a final lasting,  "til death do us part" relationship.
It was a long and storied search for Mr. Right, but it was definitely worth the wait.
So l guess my point is that the straight men you are describing are not attracted to trans-women.  They are attracted to YOU.

Quote from: Complete on October 19, 2017, 09:08:12 PM
I think what most here are experiencing is the fact that straight men, heterosexual men, are in fact attracted to women. Being post-op, or pre-op complicates that to a greater degree in the case of pre-op, and lesser degree in the case of post op.
In my case, l was having frequent sex with different male partners who were never aware of my medical history, pretty much as soon as l was completely healed after my srs. I never told my first husband of ten years as it never had much relevance.  I didn't tell my second husband, (a marriage which also lasted ten years ), until years after our divorce. How that came about is another story and bears no relevance here.
I did tell my third husband in an effort to dissuade him, (didn't work), as l had a feeling that marrying him would be a mistake. It was.
I also told my current hubby of almost 18 years now, when it became apparent that we were deeply in love and that there was a potential for a final lasting,  "til death do us part" relationship.
It was a long and storied search for Mr. Right, but it was definitely worth the wait.
So l guess my point is that the straight men you are describing are not attracted to trans-women.  They are attracted to YOU.

So maybe it's just my overly anylitical self that's making a big fuss of it, since I see myself as far more masculine-looking than others :/ I just don't understand how he can see my before pics and then see me now and still feel attracted.

I have to work on my self image

Quote from: Allie24 on October 20, 2017, 12:43:02 AM
So maybe it's just my overly anylitical self that's making a big fuss of it, since I see myself as far more masculine-looking than others :/ I just don't understand how he can see my before pics and then see me now and still feel attracted.

I have to work on my self image

We all do that, sweetie. I looked at myself this morning, cried, and threw up a little in my mouth. By the time I shaved, put on makeup and woke up the rest of the way I was fine but that was 3 years into transition.

:

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!

Think outside the voice box!

Quote from: Allie24 on October 20, 2017, 12:43:02 AM
So maybe it's just my overly anylitical self that's making a big fuss of it, since I see myself as far more masculine-looking than others :/ I just don't understand how he can see my before pics and then see me now and still feel attracted.

I have to work on my self image

I think for reasons unknown you are dragging your past along with you. I also think you will be pleasantly surprised when you are free of that extra unwanted / unneeded baggage.

I'm dating a straight man. I can understand the analytics and the frustration with labels, but we are women, so why wouldn't a straight guy be attracted to you/us? It never would have occurred to me that they wouldn't.

I mean sure, some guys may not like certain parts or aesthetics of a person's body, but that is true of all men's attraction to women and vice versa. As for the sex, well it depends on how important it is to the couple and how important the associated parts are to same.

Also i don't see attraction itself as a binary thing. Maybe its an age thing for me, but i have seen plenty of relationships where one partner was not attracted to the other at first, and then because of emotional connections became attracted. There is also attraction that is situational and out of necessity. Plop someone down in prison for a long sentence and what looks good can change.

Didn't i do a nice PG answer there?

I can really relate with being in romantic/sexual purgatory since I'm still seen as a "guy" right now. I actually do like all guys, including gay or bi. When I'm with a guy and I don't have my wig and make up on and feel like a "woman" then I just don't have fun in that way. I mean I've had times when it was fun but then in my mind I remember I'm presenting as male and it ruins it for me.

The important thing for me now is that all my tests came back and I'm STD free. Maybe down the line when my physical appearance matches my mental then I can find someone. I'm not really counting on that just yet, but it gives me some hope to hear from the younger girls that have responded. I'm 27 so not that much older lol but I have fears of not passing for a long time.

Quote from: RobynD on October 20, 2017, 02:04:41 PM
I'm dating a straight man. I can understand the analytics and the frustration with labels, but we are women.....
Didn't i do a nice PG answer there?

So l will endeavour to tread carefully here as this is a highly emotional subject for many here and tantamount to a third rail.  Many in the real world,  that world away from the trans-blogs where rules are strictly enforced by means of TOS might, and actually do, disagree strongly with your opinion.
If the community could provide some scientific proof to your assertion it might help others, non transgender people understand better and maybe even be more accepting.

I think the fact that some men actually do agree and understand, is a testament to the individuals involved.

Quote from: Complete on October 20, 2017, 06:16:28 PM
So l will endeavour to tread carefully here as this is a highly emotional subject for many here and tantamount to a third rail.  Many in the real world,  that world away from the trans-blogs where rules are strictly enforced by means of TOS might, and actually do, disagree strongly with your opinion.
If the community could provide some scientific proof to your assertion it might help others, non transgender people understand better and maybe even be more accepting.

I think the fact that some men actually do agree and understand, is a testament to the individuals involved.

I appreciate the thoughts and note of caution. I'm just not exactly sure what was controversial given it was my own feelings and opinion. My apologies if i was inflammatory in any way. Are you speaking of dating apps specifically as it relates to TOS? Also scientific proof to which of my assertions? That straight men are attracted to trans women? Seems like i see plenty of anecdotal evidence to that here.

Thank you for the clarification

Quote from: RobynD on October 23, 2017, 02:54:42 PM

I appreciate the thoughts and note of caution. I'm just not exactly sure what was controversial given it was my own feelings and opinion. My apologies if i was inflammatory in any way. Are you speaking of dating apps specifically as it relates to TOS? Also scientific proof to which of my assertions? That straight men are attracted to trans women? Seems like i see plenty of anecdotal evidence to that here.

Thank you for the clarification

I see nothing inflammatory in your opinion. What might be seen  as controversial however is that your  opinion might not be accepted as fact by society at large. I appreciate your clarifying that your opinion was not an assertion of fact. It just seemed that way to me so please  forgive my misunderstanding.