When last we saw our heroine, she was recovering from a mini-meltdown. We now rejoin her as she reports on how well things are going again...
Hi everyone! [
Hi Steph!] As our announcer said, things are going great.
On October 25th I attended a clinic hosted by a legal aid association specifically for transgender name and gender marker changes. After a Powerpoint presentation, we were assigned a legal assistant to fill out the paperwork. I let her fill it all in, since her handwriting was legible (and mine isn't). I got to watch her put my new name on that line. It didn't hit me until later, but suddenly everything was becoming gloriously real. The next day I filed the paperwork with the court. I'm on my way...
I came up with a fun Halloween costume, a female airline pilot carrying a white cane with a red tip. See here for the pictures and my passenger announcement:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229004.msg2042368.html#msg2042368I'm president of our local flying club, and we host a fly-in breakfast every year on Halloween weekend. This is the first time I wore any kind of costume for it, and it was a hit. The only part that was different from the uniform I'd worn for the previous parties was I wore pants instead of a skirt. I was flying that day, and it's not a good idea to fly a plane that has a stick wearing a skirt. And yes, I know all the jokes about flying with a stick...
The part that put me over the moon was when an old friend that I hadn't seen in a while flew in. He thought the costume was cool, then leaned over (he's tall and I'm not) and said quietly, "Y'know, with the earrings and your hair out like that, you look a lot like a woman pilot." I thought my face was gonna split, I was smiling so wide. I nodded, and he said, "Oh, is that what you were going for?" I took him to a quiet corner and told him what was going on. He was happy that I was happy! I ended up telling five more people who I hadn't seen for a while, and they were all cool.
I've been going out wearing my girl clothes more often lately, though not pushing it too hard. It's been more androgynous, but it was kind of a test to see how I'd be gendered, and how far I had to go to be seen as female. Earlier this week I went to Wally World, and as I went through the self-checkout, the lady who watches over the area came over and starting chatting and helping me bag things, and just being really sociable. I've been through there and seen her lots of times before, and while we've occasionally said hi, there was never any kind of friendly interaction before. I don't know what it all means, but it was nice. The flip side is when I then went to the auto parts store, I was called sir the whole time. Meh...
But this morning I recovered completely. I've mentioned this before, but we live in a very close neighborhood, almost like an extended family. I wrote earlier how I was terrified of losing that close feeling, and how it worked out great in the end. This morning we texted everyone and arranged to go to breakfast together. This time I still didn't use any makeup, but pushed the clothes just a little bit further and had my hair pulled loosely through the loop in my baseball cap... and was gendered correctly all morning by the waiter! My neighbor and I smiled at each other, "Well, there ya go!"
So I'm going to count all those experiences as being gendered correctly three times recently, without a whole lot of effort. With starting the name change, more shopping trips while dressed, more friends supporting me, and another visit to my therapist where I spent most of the time making her smile with all my good news, I'm flying pretty high right now.
I'm getting work done around here and in the shop today wearing my girl working clothes, and wondering if I've already started RLE? Just women's jeans, a v-neck 3/4 sleeve t-shirt in a coral color, and matching canvas shoes. (I just realized it's pretty much what I was wearing in my current avatar pic.) Other than the colors, working clothes aren't really all that different from what I used to wear. I thought starting RLE would be like clicking a switch, where I pick a date and from then on I'm Steph only. But it seems like it might end up being a fade-out/fade-in kind of thing...
In any case, I'm really comfortable and contented today...
Steph