Admitting and facing the trans* beast is a challenging thing. We learn alot about ourselves and patterns we've used consciously and unconsciously to cope previously.
Am I the only one who wonders if other cis family or friends are also trans* when I see similar behaviours in them,  or am I just projecting?

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It's possible but for me I have come to the realization that it is more along the lines of wishfull thinking... Being as I only know one other person that is trans. I mean there are others in the area but I don't actually know any of them.

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I wondered the same thing a couple times.  I've asked if my friends ever thought what they'd look like as a girl.  Or another question had they ever thought of how life would be different or easier if they were a girl.  The answer was always no.  Also when I was struggling to accept myself earlier this year, a wise woman from Susan's told me that cis males don't have those thoughts that rattle in our heads.  It resonated and I remind myself of that often.

So to answer your question I don't think it's very common.  If they are cis, it probably doesn't even register to them that we see trans traits.  They are cis, no questions.  Sometimes I do get jealous of that clarity.

Bari Jo

I think you are projecting and it is similar to what people call gaydar or trandar. We look, as a species, for our own kind and expect to see them.

Why you may find however is that, if you are a confident and accepting TG person, that you will attract attention from others who are questioning their id. You may become a magnet for those who seek help.

I was quite amazed when a very very senior person approached me in my office. They closed the door and totally spilled his guts about his life in the hope or expectation that I would understand and accept him. I did of course and it was no way near as dramatic as he thought.

I know and have met plenty of Trans* people in real life, plus you bunch of reprobates [emoji16]. My openness about my transition at work has lead to one contact who I've been able to give some support to which is very rewarding.
I'm sure 99% of the time I'm just projecting,  but I also know that until I came out, no one would have ever guessed I was trans* (hid it very well). I guess based on that,  I imagine anyone could be,  but I'd absolutely never ask.

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Yes I think like this too sometimes.i would never say anything as it's alup to them if they feel it is time.
But with us being out it may help others too, help them realise it's not so bad. Or give them someone to talk to even.

I've been wondering if my aunt is trans. She has always worn big clothes to hide her body, her figure. And I don't mean big female clothes. No. Shirts and jeans. Suits when she had to dress more formal, like a wedding. Never a dress or skirt. She ties her hair in a low ponytail that I believe is part of her by now. I've only seen her two or three times with her hair untied. To sum up, she's definitely not a woman that enjoys her feminity. And she always has that "I'm not happy" face. Everything around her, including her partner, has that thing that screams "something's not right with my life", just like it happened to me before transitioning.

My observation is that it's impossible to tell a transgender person from outward expressions. I've learned that gender identity and sexual orientation are very complex and often hard to nail down from my own experience. I may be projecting, too, but I know people I'm pretty sure fall under the 'Q', queer identity. It's a broad term, I know, but I have friends I've known for many years I'm sure are are unadmittedly bisexual, live a "straight" lifestyle, and exhibit some female behavioral characteristics. But, then again, I'm one who believes there is no such thing as completely binary male or female, and that everyone falls somewhere between the two along the gender and orientation spectrum. How's that for a "non-answer" answer??? 

I've wondered whether a friend of mine is trans.  She and I had some similar experiences growing up, as well as in our adult lives.  I thought we had her after I started transitioning and she began reading up on WPATH guidelines and watching FTM YouTube videos on her own, but she's never said anything to indicate she was considering transitioning herself.  I'll certainly never say anything--I just won't be surprised if she comes out one day.

Since I love ironies....I often thought about why, even Today, that "->-bleeped-<- Jokes" are still perfectly acceptable. No big public outcries. In fact, just the opposite. THe higher profile the outed TG person is, the bigger the volume of jokes.

About the only rationale I can come up with is "OMG! I had thoughts one time but NOT that insane!" There but for the grace of God..... A form of self-protection. You ran the Gauntlet and survived. You were lured to The Dark Side of The Force", unlike so and so.

I know a guy at work is openly gay and a ->-bleeped-<-. He is one of the bosses at my company. That's why I think my transition will be somewhat less bumpy. He is accepted as he is and his female character too. Even though he is a drag queen. He came as Chanelle to our x-mas dinner at work. People laughed and some made fun, but most people just accepted him as Chanelle.

I do have a trans family member, but I don't know them very well.

Anyway, I thought my mother would understand what I was talking about when I came out, because I recalled some conversations from my teens with her where she likened herself to a man without a penis, or a woman with a man's personality, or something like that. It was a rather casual conversation though, as many of our conversations about potentially deep subject matter were. But it did stick in my mind. 

However, it turned out that she did not understand the reasoning behind transition at all, and declared that if she had never felt the need to change gender and undergo operations etc., she did not understand why I would. So it was just me assuming she understood because of an off-hand comment she once made. It seems that, in the end, her comments about being a man in a woman's body were nothing like the experience of being an FTM. She doesn't  understand what I've been through at all, and after a few conversations since I'm fairly sure she has no idea who I am or what I'm like any more too.

My sister is a manly "dyke". Sometimes I call her Pat for fun.

Culture figures in. When I moved to Iowa and lived there 10 years, there were several folks in my church that I thought were lgbt, but in lavender relationships or in hiding. The culture there was one of conformity, but not like the religious conservatives in the south, but a more subtle passive aggressive conformity. Coming from NY, I found it odd in a Stepford sort of way. I even met people whose grandparents were Jewish and converted. That would never happen in NY. The cultural undertow is almost silent, yet strong. Sometimes I meet people at my job I suspect are trans, but never say anything. Unless they clue me in, it's none of my business. Usually shaved legs and long hair are hints.


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Quote from: Megan. on October 22, 2017, 05:09:05 AM
I know and have met plenty of Trans* people in real life, plus you bunch of reprobates [emoji16].

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Does this mean I owe you money Megan. Now that you are a 'mod' I guess I better pay up.

I am a firm believer that there is only one person on the planet who is society's idea of normal. (It ain't me) I fantasize about a 'turn over your rock day' where everyone tells there deep, dark secrets. I think the gender landscape is not so cut and dried as it appears. I think there are people who might not be trans but have had thoughts or envies throughout their lives that will never be admitted. In some it makes them empathetic, in others, hostile to 'out' trans people. Try asking cis guys if they could have a vagina for a day, would they try it, and look at how uncomfortable they look. Have they ever thought about it, maybe. Do they admit they would try it? Well, that might depend on who is present.
Moni
If you don't like my answer, can I get a reprobate? Or do I have to go to court for that?

Quote from: HappyMoni on October 22, 2017, 01:54:06 PM
If you don't like my answer, can I get a reprobate? Or do I have to go to court for that?

I wouldn't bother.  I can't even get a tax reprobate.

Quote from: HappyMoni on October 22, 2017, 01:54:06 PM
I am a firm believer that there is only one person on the planet who is society's idea of normal.

Or, as people say where I live,
"Everybody's queer but thee and me, and I'm not too sure about thee."

I've only once in my life had a friend who was definitely also trans, and that was in primary school.  We sort of drifted together and knew that we could open up to each other, and we secretly dressed up together.  I think that we do sometimes recognise people who might be like ourselves, and gravitate towards them, or avoid them (as I did in high school).  By getting to know people you identify by what Cindy calls "trandar", you may find that at least a few of them really are trans.

Quote from: MaryT on October 22, 2017, 02:24:37 PM
Or, as people say where I live,
"Everybody's queer but thee and me, and I'm not too sure about thee."

Mary, my older relatives used to say, "Odd and queer, but not peculiar!" Not sure if that is insulting anyone or not.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on October 22, 2017, 01:54:06 PM
If you don't like my answer, can I get a reprobate? Or do I have to go to court for that?

Miss Minniehooha,
I believe that foreigner across the pond has just called is all a bunch of scoundrels. What nerve!