Hey girls!

I really am feeling desperate right now. As I posted yesterday, I do not own any of my own female clothes and as I have no sisters and normally have to rely on wearing my mums for the day (which she would be furious about). However, I didn't get the chance to take any this morning and I'm feeling so rubbish sitting on the sofa wearing men's jeans and t-shirt. I am so desperate to be able to be open about it...i could be sitting here in a pretty pink skirt and some gorgeous thigh boots if only my family knew my desires and would be accepting. Maybe one day, things will change. I cant wait til I can drive on my own because I can go out whenever I want and start actually purchasing my own beautiful feminine clothing, although I will have to find a good hiding place . When I woke up this morning and walked to the shower I suddenly realised I am changing. Without even thinking I was walking like a girl, my hips felt good!! I have no idea where my future lies, whether I want re-assignment surgery or what but although it O so hard at the moment, things can surely only get better. I have accepted my desires will never go away because I have been waiting for that for 10 years and it has only got stronger. So glad I can rely on your girls support through my journey.

Love you all!!

Alexis xxx

Most all of us have been there and we feel your pain. Susan's Place has helped me very much. But keep in mind, we are all unique individuals with different needs. Only you can decide what is best for you.

The best place to start is face to face contact with a counselor or support group.

Best wishes and feel free to talk about most anything.

Agree with Dani find a group to support you till you feel good telling your fam. I was there where you are I was a closeted crossdresser for a long time. I hid my clothes where no one would find them I threw them out a couple times when I was either caught or almost caught. I talked to my LDS church Bishop at one point and thought the desire would go away, but like you it went away but, came back stronger. It was a struggle and my decision came after a low spot in my life. I decided to act and be what I knew was the real me. I have always envisioned being female, having kids, and all of it, but excuses prevented me doing anything. The decision is yours on what to do, you know your life better than us, and I know it is hard being under your parents home. You don't feel independent and can't do things of your own. I hope you can find your voice and voice things to someone!!!!

Thanks for your messages. I love being able to discuss things on here and getting replies, it really helps me and I'm already feeling more confident (and desperate!) to just go and buy some clothes that I will feel so so free and happy in! Thanks again everyone who bothers to listen to me...means a lot.

Love you...

Alexis
Xxx

I assume you are in the UK because you are typing with and english accent (mums)  . If so, your medical system will take care of most of your transition but it will be up to you to make contact with the gender program. That can be done directly or through your family doctor. As it takes 2 years to get treatment, you should start learning about how the program works. A few web searches might help you understand how the system works. We also have member on the site who have posted about their experiences in the UK so that might help as well.

In addition you might consider the job you will be working at. If possible pick a profession with a relatively good income so you can pay for the things that the medical system doesn't cover.

Working toward a goal will help control the dysphoria as you will have less free time to think about your troubles. It's not going to eliminate the dysphoria but it might make it more bearable to know you have dates when things will happen.

Quote from: Dena on October 27, 2017, 06:35:28 PM
I assume you are in the UK because you are typing with and english accent (mums)  . If so, your medical system will take care of most of your transition but it will be up to you to make contact with the gender program. That can be done directly or through your family doctor. As it takes 2 years to get treatment, you should start learning about how the program works. A few web searches might help you understand how the system works. We also have member on the site who have posted about their experiences in the UK so that might help as well.

In addition you might consider the job you will be working at. If possible pick a profession with a relatively good income so you can pay for the things that the medical system doesn't cover.

Working toward a goal will help control the dysphoria as you will have less free time to think about your troubles. It's not going to eliminate the dysphoria but it might make it more bearable to know you have dates when things will happen.

I am from the UK yes, but the thing is, I'm not sure whether I really should transition. I'm so confused about whether that is really the best thing for me. I absolutely love presenting myself as a girl/women (although I have never actually done so in public) but I believe that HRT and SRS should only be taken if you truly believe you have been born on the wrong body with the wrong genitals which obviously a lot of people are. However for me, I don't no if that is my situation although I really would love to always dress in feminine clothing.

Love you...

Alexis
Xxx

Quote from: Alexis Beau on October 28, 2017, 07:26:35 AM
I am from the UK yes, but the thing is, I'm not sure whether I really should transition. I'm so confused about whether that is really the best thing for me.

Hi Alexis - I think you will know if transitioning is the right thing for you.  It's not the only path to travel so you shouldn't pressurise yourself just because that is right for others.  I am also from the UK and although I know I have always been transgender, for one reason or another transitioning wasn't right for me when I was younger

Looking back, I suffered a lot of confusion over my gender and in hindsight, I wish I had sought a gender therapist when I was in my teens.  It would have really helped me work out what I wanted and also who I was.  Of course with the internet offering so much information and sites like Susan's sharing the experience of so many, there is so much you can learn before even talking with a therapist

If you ever fancy talking, feel free to PM me

Chatlotte

The advantage of a gender therapist is it would give you someone knowledgable to help you work through your thoughts and feelings. Lacking that, it would be best for you to start considering the future you desire. I have two links that could help you with that. The first is our WIKI where the options of transitioning and not transitioning are explored. The second link is "the transition channel" which will help you explore your feelings and might help you determine if a transition is right for you.