Aye mates! Cayden here. Soooo I had top surgery consultation today.. and i was expecting a date anddddd what i got was "stop smokingg for 6 weeks and come back in for labs".. and thats it. He said said he can help me,hell run my insurance.. but i have 6 weeks to be smoke free before anything is official. Also,he mwntioned to me. "We dont really get people that come In to get surgery to live as male,we usually get people who are already livingh as male" and he gor that from me telling whom ever this lady was that walked in before him that i wasnt out to my morher  .. its just a difficult thinng to bring up. I am referred as she sometimes,its hard to corrwct people that known me all of my life. And also the fact i still have breasts and no facial hair dowsnt help.. i dont want to force people but it also huets my feelings. I get irritated quickly.. i just fwel like he sisnt believe i was sure and i am.. am i wrong for not completely livingh as male.. or am i finding still having breasts an excuse to not have to explain myself continuously? Its stresskng me out.. i still kind of look the same except my voice change. My T shot has been adjusted my testo levels were at 440 and im supposed to be in a 320 range. It been 3 weeks since adjusted and im seeing facial hair and a major voice drop again and i felt disrespected because end of the day its my life my choice. He kept talking about doubts and cant go back and blah blah blah. Ive been on T foe a yr i waitwd 9 months beforw even getting on. 2 years since ive come out.. the people i care about know but im not going to wear a sign that says "MALE".. he said they only see peoplw who have been lving as male male for 6 months to a year.. i guess my question is.. how do i live as male? What is considered living as male? It's difficult for people around me to understand and wrap thwir heads around this.. or are thwy being selfish? HELP PLS.

Well, are you a minor or an adult? If you're an adult and your mother doesn't know, obviously there is more going on in that relationship and the medicos should really but out (but won't because people who don't come from dysfunctional families don't really understand about stuff like that). If you're a minor I could see some reason for caution.

I had a psychologist tell me she was really surprised I was ftm when I was pre everything and I had to explain to her that I pretty much wear men's clothing, live the way I want, get men's haircuts, and it's not really my fault my body looks like this on women's hormones. What sort of "drag" I am supposed to be in? This IS me. Then she realized how silly she was being.

The way your body look kind of conditions people how to respond to you. I'd tell the surgeon that "I live as me every day. I want my body to comport with me. The fact that it's not is causing me terrible dysphoria."

Female chest is a huge social problem on a male, but it sounds like your main problem is people who are meant to be supportive forgetting to be. Just let them know. It's pretty much the only way to condition people out of habit - if you don't correct them they won't learn.

Welcome to Susan's Place. For a MTF passing may be difficult but a "sign" that normally will get you gender as female is wearing a skirt. For a FTM it's a bit more difficult because CIS women often cross the gender lines with their dress so their isn't a good clue. As the result, you would need to bind, wear short hair, adopt a more monotone speech pattern and mannerism. This may not always work but hopefully you might be able to project the image of a young teenage boy.

Presenting as your  desired gender is something that dates back to before I transitioned. To ensure that you could deal with the issues that result from a transition, the RLE requirement needed to be met before irreversible procedures were preformed. If you could deal with the issues of RLE, life would become even less difficult as additional procedures brought your body more in tune with your desired gender.

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Binding and getting a short male type haircut go a long way in looking more like a guy.

Quote from: RedSoxMichael on November 02, 2017, 06:57:39 AM
Well, are you a minor or an adult? If you're an adult and your mother doesn't know, obviously there is more going on in that relationship and the medicos should really but out (but won't because people who don't come from dysfunctional families don't really understand about stuff like that). If you're a minor I could see some reason for caution.

I had a psychologist tell me she was really surprised I was ftm when I was pre everything and I had to explain to her that I pretty much wear men's clothing, live the way I want, get men's haircuts, and it's not really my fault my body looks like this on women's hormones. What sort of "drag" I am supposed to be in? This IS me. Then she realized how silly she was being.

The way your body look kind of conditions people how to respond to you. I'd tell the surgeon that "I live as me every day. I want my body to comport with me. The fact that it's not is causing me terrible dysphoria."

I am an adult,24 in two months. My dad kind if just said I shouldn't do it and hes pretty open minded.. my mom os very stubborn.. and sensitive.. realizing It is jist something I have to be straight up about.I've pretty much looked and dressed male since the age of 15. It just rubbed me wrong the way he said certain things..as if I wasn't sure of my desicion. It was hard to explain or maybe he dudnt care to understand. The way you put if is exactly hiw i feel every single day. Didnt know how to be it in words. Thank you.

Quote from: mm on November 02, 2017, 05:53:57 PM
Binding and getting a short male type haircut go a long way in looking more like a guy.

I bind,Im on T so my voice is continuously dropping. Its more than just a hair cut.. ive had ahort hair since the age of 16. Male barbershop. People see breast even a little people say she.. i pass mostly but not always.

Quote from: Viktor on November 02, 2017, 02:45:55 PM
Female chest is a huge social problem on a male, but it sounds like your main problem is people who are meant to be supportive forgetting to be. Just let them know. It's pretty much the only way to condition people out of habit - if you don't correct them they won't learn.

Last few days ive noticed this. You hit it spot on. And today ive corrected them and asked them nicley to just try... I guess correcting them until they get its a rel thing is what im going to have to do. It feel weird thougj,its like they still want to see me for who I used to be. I can be confrontational i just dont like to be with my loved ones.. but now I am getting irritated and annoyed at the lack of effort. So from now on,I wont let anything slide. Thanks