Well I knew it would come but now I am scared to death. I have not come out to very many people at all. I know doctors have to be professional, but that has not stopped people from being less than professional due to their personal beliefs. I have put off seeing my primary care and heart doctor because I do not want to let them know I'm trans. But this week has been a little trying and my wife and I are a little worried.

I have been utterly exhausted when I am getting sleep and eating ok and etc. The other day my brain got super foggy could not even think of my next move. Like what was I going to do when I stood up. Along with that I had some what felt like bad anxiety. Chills, sweats and my heart was feeling funny. I have history of palpitations and even had to go to the ER in April of 2 years ago where I spent 5 Days in the Hospital. Since then I have started HRT and am hoping nothing has to do with hormones. Hoping it has to do with the pain killers I take since I have been wanting to get off of them. But have been worried about my chronic pain.

So tomorrow I am going to the heart doctor. Who is male. And am scared to update my medicines and etc. plus it's the heart doctor, where you remove your shirt for the heart test so they can hook up the wires and my breast development is a little farther than just showing a little.  Still presenting male for the most part. So......

Thursday I go to my primary. I am assuming it will be better with a female doctor, but you never know. Just because she is female does not mean it will go smoothly. Hoping she sends me to a doctor to help with me getting off my pain killers. So that would mean another doctor to see. Whether it's a referral from her or someone I find on my own.

Thanks for reading. Don't really need an answer. Writing it out helps. Just scared and alone. And it sucks.


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Hi Nora, I can't imagine the feeling and I'm glad you are going to see your doctor.  I'd give you a hug if I could.  If you do run into trouble with your current doctors, you can switch to gender affirming ones.  I'm doing that here since I really don't like the nurses at my current doctors office.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on November 07, 2017, 04:38:12 PM
Hi Nora, I can't imagine the feeling and I'm glad you are going to see your doctor.  I'd give you a hug if I could.  If you do run into trouble with your current doctors, you can switch to gender affirming ones.  I'm doing that here since I really don't like the nurses at my current doctors office.

Bari Jo

Well then since you are rather close to me. I would like to ask for help finding them. I see the cardiologist tomorrow. I would prefer a female cardiologist. I had one in fountain valley but not sure if she is hip to the trans community.  And she is far from me. Probably Irvine would be a good place to look.


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I actually searched out for a doctor that services the lgbt community. Try here http://www.glma.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.viewPage&pageId=939&grandparentID=534&parentID=938&nodeID=1

I found my therapist too. Basically I cross referenced with my plan to see who was on it. I told my New Doc up front, I am trans. Nothing to hide at that point.


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I told my primary care Dr. in the Army Hospital last year because I needed her approval for some referrals and to get my prescriptions moved to the Army pharmacy.  It was actually very anti-climactic.  She looked slightly dumbfounded for a moment but was extremely helpful in getting me everything I needed.


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Quote from: Norma Lynne on November 07, 2017, 07:01:03 PM
Well then since you are rather close to me. I would like to ask for help finding them. I see the cardiologist tomorrow. I would prefer a female cardiologist. I had one in fountain valley but not sure if she is hip to the trans community.  And she is far from me. Probably Irvine would be a good place to look.


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Hi Nora, I was going to choose the local GP listed from the OC LGBT Center.  As for a specialist, I would ask her for recommendations.  Sorry, I was only switching my GP, I don't know any specialists.

Bari Jo

Well today is the day I come out to my cardiologist! And I am freaking out inside. It could go a few ways. No big, he tests my heart and we move on. He is ignorant about HRT and tells me the risks are higher on HRT and tells me I should stop. And if my wife finds out I will be screwed.

The nurse called me and told me to bring a list of my current medications. It is possible that nothing is said about them. Which probably would mean I need to find a new one. This is probably something that should be discussed.

One thing I do not know is how to say I am uncomfortable bareing my chest in the doctors office.

Well anyway I will get through this.

Funny I feel great today. I am in the waiting room and the anxiety is low. It's there but low. Probably just going with the if they don't ask I won't tell. Told me to bring a list of my meds. But when I asked if there was anything I need to fill out they said no. So what ev.


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That is what scares me too as I'll be seeing my heart doctor next year (October 2018...).  I just saw him last month but didn't say anything as they didn't ask but when the nurse was doing the ultra-sound on my chest...I thought I was going to die.  Even after 3 months everything there is pretty sensitive.  My family doctor knows and is happy for me so that is good but the heart one scares me and at my age I have no choice to see one as apparently I have a valve that may need replacing way down the road as he says.

Not sure if I want to look for another as he is one of the best around here and my wife has been to him for some of her issues. 

Next year I might not be able to hide as much as I did this year.  I'll have to watch and see how you do with yours...crossing my fingers.

Hi Nora, did everything go well?  Thinking of you.

Bari Jo

Not a thing to worry about. Did not ask and I did not offer. They made it seem like they would. I think I might need to find a new primary. She listened to my breathing and sent me for
Blood tests. Did not act like she gave a crap.
And today I was kinda outed in front of people today at weight watchers. I will be posting about that later. Splitting headache right now.

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