KatieKat, that is so awesome.  Feel good story to start my day!

Bari Jo

I love your new picture!

Thanks again for the support everyone. We've been moving and during the drives I've been listening to Jennifer Boylan's "She's not there" on audible. That book is great, but I continue to be thrown on how my experience has differed so much from many other peoples. Anyway... so, I've been MIA for a bit, but I'm still out here.

Quote from: katiekatt on November 07, 2017, 01:48:36 PM
I love your new picture!

Thanks again for the support everyone. We've been moving and during the drives I've been listening to Jennifer Boylan's "She's not there" on audible. That book is great, but I continue to be thrown on how my experience has differed so much from many other peoples. Anyway... so, I've been MIA for a bit, but I'm still out here.

I was wondering where you went!!

Quote from: katiekatt on November 07, 2017, 01:48:36 PM
I love your new picture!

Thanks again for the support everyone. We've been moving and during the drives I've been listening to Jennifer Boylan's "She's not there" on audible. That book is great, but I continue to be thrown on how my experience has differed so much from many other peoples. Anyway... so, I've been MIA for a bit, but I'm still out here.

I read that book too. It was a fascinating read, but I could only relate to certain parts of it.  Glad to see you are still around.

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Quote from: Roll on November 07, 2017, 02:09:44 PM
I was wondering where you went!!

I've just been exhausted! I cant seem to get into HRT any sooner than Jan/Feb. My therapist says I need to build a support structure first anyway. I basically dont really have any friends. So, since I cant rely on current friends, who honestly I havent actually hung out with in years anyway, I have decided to find new ones through our lgbt group here.  They have a support group I'm going to next month as well.

I need to really find a new job since this job wont be alright with this in any kind of way.

That just leaves my mom, who i know will not be cool but relys on me to provide a living space. i dont know what to do there... hope for the best? I cant go back to pretending, to repression... the closet so...

Quote from: amberwaves on November 07, 2017, 05:05:07 PM
I read that book too. It was a fascinating read, but I could only relate to certain parts of it.  Glad to see you are still around.

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Me too. jennifer knew so early and so clearly. I was far more in denial and repression. My experience has been strange, but I've always been strange so thats no surprise!

Thanks !

Quote from: katiekatt on November 08, 2017, 12:41:20 PM
I've just been exhausted! I cant seem to get into HRT any sooner than Jan/Feb. My therapist says I need to build a support structure first anyway. I basically dont really have any friends. So, since I cant rely on current friends, who honestly I havent actually hung out with in years anyway, I have decided to find new ones through our lgbt group here.  They have a support group I'm going to next month as well.

Support was a big theme for my last few appointments, including my HRT consult one today. The good news is that support doesn't have to be a ton of friends or anything of that nature, it doesn't require a comprehensive numbers game, and apparently a few key people is more than enough. (Or at least it is for my therapist and seemingly is for my new doctor.)

Quote
Me too. jennifer knew so early and so clearly. I was far more in denial and repression. My experience has been strange, but I've always been strange so thats no surprise!

It is inevitable to run into that huge experience divide with those who knew and understood from the start and those of us who took a longer time to come around to it. It is then a double edged sword that those who were so certain seem as though they are also more vocal about their experiences publicly--on the one hand it increases overall exposure, but on the other hand it has created that pop culture cliche of being transgender that actually was a large part of what led me to doubt myself many points in the past, as it was a standard I couldn't live up to.

Quote from: Roll on November 08, 2017, 01:22:26 PM
Support was a big theme for my last few appointments, including my HRT consult one today. The good news is that support doesn't have to be a ton of friends or anything of that nature, it doesn't require a comprehensive numbers game, and apparently a few key people is more than enough. (Or at least it is for my therapist and seemingly is for my new doctor.)

It is inevitable to run into that huge experience divide with those who knew and understood from the start and those of us who took a longer time to come around to it. It is then a double edged sword that those who were so certain seem as though they are also more vocal about their experiences publicly--on the one hand it increases overall exposure, but on the other hand it has created that pop culture cliche of being transgender that actually was a large part of what led me to doubt myself many points in the past, as it was a standard I couldn't live up to.

I'm hoping for 3 or 4 people! 

Yeah thats a big point for me too. It's took me longer than it should have to really understand that no two trans journeys are the same and that no one can dictate my identity to me like they did when I was a kid.

Quote from: katiekatt on November 08, 2017, 03:39:31 PM
I'm hoping for 3 or 4 people! 

Yeah thats a big point for me too. It's took me longer than it should have to really understand that no two trans journeys are the same and that no one can dictate my identity to me like they did when I was a kid.

I found that reading and interacting with people from Susan's there was enough commonality too be helpful.  No two tales are the same, but there certainly do seem to be recurrent themes.  Also, don't be alarmed if you find things change as you transition.  I am certainly still discovering things about myself and realizing that some things I thought I knew/wanted were really just me fooling/hiding things from myself.  When I started I was much more fluid and felt that it was pragmatically easier to be a manly woman that a womanly man.  Turns out I am far more feminine and clearly on the binary female end of the spectrum than I ever would have believed. I'm some way I was just bargaining with myself because I want ready to accept it.  This may not be your experience, but just a fair warning. Transition is a growing process and growth sometimes involves uncomfortable truths.

Amber

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