Last night at band practice, during the break, the conductor came over to say hi to me. It's a big concert band, and he doesn't get much opportunity to talk one-on-one to every member, so he makes an effort. The happy part is that he told me that I am a strong player and that I hold the tenor sax section together. The unhappy part is that he addressed me as "buddy".
When I came out last spring, I sent an email to the entire membership telling them all who I am now. I don't dress particularly androgynously for band practice. Last night, I was wearing skinny jeans and a bright orange sweater that adequately displays my inadequate boobs. I wear my shortest wig for band practice, so I can get the neck strap of the sax over my head without accidents, but it is still styled in a feminine way. It should have been obvious that I'm a girl. In fact, given my coming-out email, it should have been obvious that I am that girl. All the other musicians address me as "Kathy" and use feminine pronouns.
Or maybe he's just clueless and regularly addresses women as "buddy". I was too stunned to say anything, especially since it was associated with a rather nice compliment.
I guess I'll have to femme it up a bit. At the last concert, I was the only band member wearing a skirt. I was going to wear pants for the upcoming Christmas concert, but now I think I'll wear a skirt again.
