Hello, I am brand new to the forum and this is my first time talking about about my wish to transition.  I am hoping this forum will help me sort out what I want.  When I was young I would wish that I was a girl but as I got older and into my teens and twenties the urge to transition waned. Now that I am in my late thirties the desire has come back and I have decided to reach out to gain an understanding of who I want to be. For me the option to start my transition won't be until I am in my late 40's when my kids are grown and through college (we started our family young). So needless to say I have time to plan both personally and financially. Please feel free to email me or comment as I would love to chat and make friends.  Thank you for reading. And yes my new name would be Andi...

Hi Andi 

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Quote from: Andi2030 on November 11, 2017, 01:26:14 PM
Hello, I am brand new to the forum and this is my first time talking about about my wish to transition.  I am hoping this forum will help me sort out what I want.  When I was young I would wish that I was a girl but as I got older and into my teens and twenties the urge to transition waned. Now that I am in my late thirties the desire has come back and I have decided to reach out to gain an understanding of who I want to be. For me the option to start my transition won't be until I am in my late 40's when my kids are grown and through college (we started our family young). So needless to say I have time to plan both personally and financially. Please feel free to email me or comment as I would love to chat and make friends.  Thank you for reading. And yes my new name would be Andi...

Welcome Andi,
I've only been on this forum for a few days but I'm not new to the idea of transitioning. I came to accept the face that I have gender dysphoria or whatever you want to label it nearly ten years ago.  I've been making progress towards transitioning but I've yet to achieve my goal of living full time as a woman and legally changing my name, etc.  I don't have kids or family so my biggest reluctance is being rejected and scorned by society or even fired from my job.  I don't really know why this bothers me so much because I'm normally a pretty confident individual who's never succumbed much to peer pressure.  All that said, I think that isolation can be one of the worst things that transgender people can do when we are in mindset of "When will I ever be able to become the person that I was meant to be?" To combat that I refuse to have much contact with negative people and make every effort to surround myself with like minded and positive people that accept me for who I am.  If I can suggest anything it's to surround yourself with good people who will encourage you and nurture your growth.  I believe that forums like this are a step in the right direction.  I wish you all of the best!

Melissa

Melissa,

Thanks for the kind words.  You share a similar situation with being in a holding pattern. For me my biggest concern is allowing my kids to grow up in a stable and carefree environment. They don't need that added stress. And when they are adults I trust they will understand my decision and be accepting. I can can also say that since hitting the button on that first post an hour ago I already feel like a weight has been lifted. I have never once spoken about this to anyone. It was like being on an island for 3 plus decades. I hope to speak with a lot more people like you as it will only reaffirm what I want. 

Quote from: Andi2030 on November 11, 2017, 02:52:37 PM
Melissa,

Thanks for the kind words.  You share a similar situation with being in a holding pattern. For me my biggest concern is allowing my kids to grow up in a stable and carefree environment. They don't need that added stress. And when they are adults I trust they will understand my decision and be accepting. I can can also say that since hitting the button on that first post an hour ago I already feel like a weight has been lifted. I have never once spoken about this to anyone. It was like being on an island for 3 plus decades. I hope to speak with a lot more people like you as it will only reaffirm what I want.

Hi Andi,
I'm glad that you feel comfortable sharing your feelings here.  If you're interested you can check out my introduction that I posted a few days ago that highlights some of my personal challenges. I don't think that my situation is much different from other transgendered peopled.  As I stated, I believe that one of the worst things  that anyone can do is isolate themselves from nurturing people who accept them for who they are.  Unfortunately, we live in a society with no shortage of judgmental bigots.  I'm learning to avoid them and when I do have to deal with them use constructive coping skills to deflect their hatred and walk away.

Hi Andi, welcome to Susan's.  I'm transitioning in my 40s myself.  There is a lot you can do now just to understand yourself more and make an eventual transition easier if you decide to go that route.  The first is say is start attending a trans support group.  I can't tell you how they have made me fell about myself.  Also seek a gender affirming therapist.  They guide the conversation To Help you better understand your gender.  Both of these just take time.  The next, I recommend even if you decide to not transition.  Start doing laser and electrolysis for your beard.  This is a crazy long process, and it's one of the biggest hurdles in transition.  Plus if you wait too long and your beard turns grey, it'll take a bit longer and be more painful since laser is out of the question.  Besides, wouldn't it be great to never shave again?

I hope that helps, I hope to see you in other conversations too!

Bari Jo

Hi Andi! Welcome to the community, lots of amazing people on this forum. Glad to have you here.

One of the things you can do in the interim is to get the facial hair taken care of.  If you have dark hair it is a lot easier and cheaper, as you can use Laser.  If you have to go to electrolysis. It could take a while. I've gone around thirty times at about 350 hairs an hour. We have between 20,000 and 30,000 hairs. Aside from not having a beard, it should not be that noticeable until you start HRT and the skin starts to soften. You'll just be clean shaven. There would be nothing wrong visiting a gender therapist and support groups to investigate if this is the road you want to travel. One of the great discoveries I had is that my children gave me the biggest boost. I still can't believe they said. "You'll always be our Dad" "But you have to live your life the way you feel you should" "We know you've struggled with this all your life"  I hope your kids are as understanding. For myself having been on HRT for 15 months now. I am so grateful that I am finally feeling good about myself. I hope you can find your "happy place" as well.