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Meeting parents as female

Started by Jamie_06, November 11, 2017, 07:36:33 PM

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Jamie_06

So my parents will be visiting in about a month for an early Christmas get-together, and while they have been supportive via phone and Facebook, this will be the first time the'll be seeing me as female in person. I have heard from one person in my local trans support group that her family didn't react well in person even though they had been supportive from a distance, so I'm wondering how to approach this situation.

I know that since I'm genderfluid I could present as male the whole time they're here if I have to, but that would just be avoiding the issue and I'd rather be able to be female while they're here, so any advice?
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Dena

I can think of three things you might do that would help.
1. Discuss this in advance with them so there will be no surprises.
2. Send some pictures so they know what to expect.
3. Consider toning it down. For example wear woman's jeans instead of a dress. We wear a blouse with sleeves instead of a sleeveless blouse.

Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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Mariah

It's important to note the following.
1. Parents actually already know, but this will be the first trip they have made since Jamie's coming out.
2. Pictures have been shared since the parents were told.
3. Lets see Jamie is genderfluid and as a result generally when dressed as female it is toned down which means something with sleeves and woman's jeans.

Quote from: Dena on November 11, 2017, 07:52:06 PM
I can think of three things you might do that would help.
1. Discuss this in advance with them so there will be no surprises.
2. Send some pictures so they know what to expect.
3. Consider toning it down. For example wear woman's jeans instead of a dress. We wear a blouse with sleeves instead of a sleeveless blouse.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
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Retired (S) Global Moderator
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LizK

You need to feel comfortable in whatever you choose. By comfortable I mean something that makes you feel good and you enjoy wearing. I have seen your photo's as we are connected via FB and I think anything I have seen you wearing looked great so its then just about what you like. I have a feeling from the few comments I have read the family are going to be just fine with you being you.

Try and relax and not over read the situation, don't think too much about it(if you can). I bet the family just want you to be as comfortable, as you want them to be.  ;)

Good Luck
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Devlyn

I like the just be you advice.  :)

I was wondering though, you're prepping for them seeing you in girl mode, but what if the boy is around when they show up? Would you still want to present female in boy mode? When I have a boy day, my sense of humour appreciates the dilemma of only owning women's clothes.   ;D

Hugs, Devlyn
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