Well, I came out to my sister last night. She told me that who I am is a sin and that I'm going to hell. I really did think she'd accept me as trans mtf. But, I guess I was wrong. Now, my parents are giving me two days to pack my stuff and get out. I'm really scared and upset right now. I've spent the last hour or so sobbing. I even cut myself again, even though I promised myself that I'd stop. My parents have been rambling on and on about how I'm a "freak of nature", that I'm " sinning", and I'm "going to hell". I really want to kill myself now. The bridge by my house looks very tempting right now. I really want to just jump off it and disappear from this horrible world forever.

My parents are even going to take my phone and laptop away. They went through my search history and found the trans support sights I've went on. They said that they'd never call me Beverly or female pronouns. They'll always call me Benjamin and male pronouns. They even said that they're going to tell my extended family, who are all very religious just like my parents. I know for sure that they won't accept me. They'll hate my forever.

I feel so sick. I don't know what to do. Suicide has been on my mind for the last few hours. My parents own sleeping pills, so maybe I'll take those. Or maybe I'll cut my wrists and bleed to death. But I don't know. I'm just so scared, upset, and angry now. I wish my sister never told my parents, but there's nothing I can do now. What do you think I should do?

Big hug! Don't hurt yourself. Ending your life because someone doesn't like you is ridiculous. Even if it's family.

Be ready to leave, but there's a chance they will soften their position. You have two days warning, start planning an escape route.

Hugs, Devlyn

If you Google  " <your city> LGBT center" you should find emergency shelter and other resources.

Hugs, Devlyn

At 14 years of age, if you are unable to locate a LGBT center near you, look for a child support services/child protection services near you. These are government run and step in when there are serious issues between a child and their parents. It's not the best solution but they may be able to provide therapy and will give you a place to live until you are 18.

I forgot. One other option is to contact the police department. The will put you in contact with a place where you can get help.

I would call all my relatives, especially female ones, explain the situation, and ask if you can live with them. Roll the dice, you may get something.

I think I would go to a relative first, if you have someone close to you. Maybe they would be more open minded. I would also try a close friend if you would feel comfortable there for a short time.

I'm sorry about what you are dealing with. Having a close minded family isn't easy. It took courage to share who you are, and that is very commendable. Few have been so courageous!



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A big hug BeverlyRose! No one wants to find themselves in this situation, and at such a young age. I agree with Dena about the LGBT Centres and or Support Services. As difficult as it is to deal with right now, you need to be prepared as suggested by Devlyn Marie. First a short term emergent solution and then a longer term one. Extended family may be an option, depending on their belief system. I they are like your parents, then that will probably not work. At 14, you need to be somewhere safe and somewhere that can legally support you. My thoughts are with you.

They are bluffing. Go for support services and they will beg you to come home (on their terms though, but you will be in a position to negotiate).

Take it as a great opportunity to live your life in the open.


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Here are a few things you can remind your parents about.  In Matthew 19:12, Jesus mentions eunuchs in the context of whether it is good to marry. He says, "There are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." Jesus identifies three types of "eunuchs" here: natural eunuchs ("born that way"), forced eunuchs ("made eunuchs by others"), and voluntary eunuchs ("those who choose").
There is nothing so grievous to give up your life for. Keep communicating and we will do our best to advise and comfort. Talking really helps.

Go to the wiki up above at the top of the page and visit these sites for information on how to explain to your family.
An open letter to parents of transsexual children
An open letter to the parents of transsexual children No. 2
My son, my daughter
Transsexualism - Information for the family
Telling your parents
Telling your parents - Part II
Good luck.

You're 14 years old and your parents are throwing you out on the street?  That's disgusting.  It's also illegal--it constitutes child neglect.  What general area are you in?  People here have given you some good tips on what to search for, but it can feel overwhelming to hunt for places to live when you're panicking and considering suicide.  I can look for local resources for you while you contact extended family. 

Please don't hurt yourself.  You deserve to live.  One way or another, we'll find you a safe place to stay.

Sorry about this, if they kick you out and you have no where to go go to the police station or emergency room at the hospital and ask for help.

Hi Beverly Rose

If it is a version of the Christian faith you are up against, the argument can be stated in an easy to understand manner. (and if your parents are reading this, I would be happy to discuss it with them - I have studied Theology, and know of a number of well respected theologians that support this position - Francis Schaeffer and James Dobson for starters.)
Christianity suggests:
The way you were born is not necessarily the way you were meant to be.
That is, from a reading of Genesis we find out that when sin entered the world it affected not just our souls, but all of creation, (physical, mental, and spiritual.)
As such, a child born with deformed hands and feet, (like I was,) is not necessarily the way they were meant to be. A child born with an autism spectrum disorder, (like I was,) is not necessarily the way they were meant to be. A child born with the physical appearance of both male and female genitalia is not necessarily the way God intended them to be. And a transgender child, born with the genitalia of the wrong sex is not necessarily the way God intended them to be.
In Christian ideology, sin is not a choice - it's a fact of life that affects our entire being.

However, Christian ideology also tells us that, despite our 'fallen' nature, God still loves us, and wants only what is good for us. Jesus never rejected individuals affected by sin. The Gospels are full of instances in which Jesus willingly accepts such individuals, and frees them of the guilt imposed by their communities. If your parents reject YOU, they are not following the teaching of Christ - to love others as they are loved by God.

The main message of Bible based Christianity is one of hope. "Faith is the essence of things hoped for." It is not absolute knowledge of right and wrong, or good and evil.

Your situation, while it may feel horrible, is not hopeless.

@DawnOday & @Subbie

I don't want to derail this thread away from the serious situation for the OP. I just wanted to say thanks to you both for the words and I that shared them with my wife.

Quote from: Faith on November 13, 2017, 07:02:20 AM
@DawnOday & @Subbie

I don't want to derail this thread away from the serious situation for the OP. I just wanted to say thanks to you both for the words and I that shared them with my wife.

You are more than the sum of your parts. Underneath the facade of living your physical sex, lies a human being, who deserves to live without judgement and with compassion. If I can help save the life or family of one person by my postings I celebrate. I know sometimes I take the circuitous route. We all matter.  Thank you for acknowledging. It means a lot.