Ive been really slack on posting as I've been crazy busy, sorry about that! But this weekend I had an experience that I wanted to share.
I've been trying to make some new connections locally as I don't know anyone where I'm currently living and on Saturday met up with someone I'd been talking to online for a bit. She only knows me as Nicole, and she knows that I'm trans etc. So when we met up I went as Nicole, properly for the first time. I've been slowly being more and more feminine in public and am full time at home but havn't gone out for the day properly yet until Saturday. It was truly liberating and a special time. I didn't tell her that was the situation as I just wanted to hang out and have a good time without any other pressures and wanted to just be me.
The second I left the flat there was a guy walking past my flat, he looked, smiled and said hello. It sounds silly but that one moment changed everything. My fear subsided and I knew everything was going to be okay. I know its something tiny but in that moment I felt accepted as a women. I'm smiling just thinking about it, almost brings a tear to my eye because all the fear that I can't do this left in that moment.
It was a really nice day, we chilled on the beach, got donuts, hung out on the pier, went for coffee etc. Nobody cared. I walked home through the city centre at like 11pm at night with drunk people everywhere starting their Saturday nights off and even then, which I was worried something could happen, nothing happened.
I feel like this is a prime example of how your mind can be your own worst enemy. Its still a terrifying and its a daunting process ahead but the knowledge that I am able to just be myself in everyday life and not having people staring or making comments its such a huge relief. I feel like things are scales are have changed from fear about the future to excitement! From that day, I'm no longer hiding who I am and am going to be living full time how I should have done a long time ago!
Anyway, I just wanted to share that, hope you have an amazing day!
