So as of tomorrow I will have been on HRT for 4 months. Back in March I tried to get a jump on beard removal but I didn't get to talk to anyone until April. I had a hard time finding someone who could even get me in to see them, one woman said it would be about 6 months and another said I could see her in July. I saw the one woman in July for an hour, then again in August for an hour, once in October for an hour, and then tonight for 45 minutes. so in the last 4 and a half months I could only get in 3 hours and 45 minutes, and I might be going out of town for work in a couple weeks, I'd be 2.5 hours away so I might have to cancel my next 3 sessions, which are longer sessions that equal 5 hours! I booked more time with her today, I have appointments into May now. If I get to keep those next 3 sessions then I will get 10 more hours in before March 21st, and then I have 4 sessions after that to get me 7.5 hours. so if I can keep all my these sessions I would be at just over 21 hours by mid May. the problem is that I want to be out by then!

I'm still living as a male, but a lot of my friends do know about me, and others suspect it. it's getting harder for me to keep it a secret, my female personality is coming out more and more in my posts on social media. I don't want to hide anymore but I have a long way to go. I was thinking about setting a coming out date to commit to, it might motivate me, but I think playing it by ear might be better. I was thinking the first day of spring, I love the symbolism, I spent 31 years in a cold bleak winter and now I'm finally blossoming into myself! but with only 10 more hours of electrolysis before then I just don't think my face will be cleared enough for me to be out by then. I can't shave every day because my skin will get too irritated. it's mostly my neck that gets bad, so for now I'm having her work on my neck and chin so maybe once they're cleared I could come out and shave the rest of my face every day, but I'd still have to grow it out for a few days to get the rest of it removed, I don't want to be a bearded lady!

Another issue is work. I can finally quit my job after the new year and I have time to find another one, but I feel like I should try to get the new job while I'm still presenting as male because otherwise I will have no past employment or references as Madeline. a lot of my upcoming appointments are for 2 or 2:30 in the afternoon too, so who is going to hire someone that needs to take a lot of afternoons off? This is so frustrating!

I really wish laser would have worked for me. I did it once back in May and I feel like I just threw $300 in the garbage. I have reddish facial hair and it pretty much turned white after laser, so I don't think it will respond to it now. I found a cheaper place I could try but I don't think it's worth it. I would have almost been done by now if it would have worked 

can anyone offer me any input or advice? thank you!

Electrolysis is the option you need to go to now. In lighter color hair follicles laser does do jack. I have some white in my beard and it hasn't done jack for those. As far as going full-time you should. It feels great to be out as yourself and your self confidence will grow. Everyone in their own time. For me I went at lightspeed because I no longer had a desire to play dress up as a man. I have a very open work space too, so that has helped. You shouldn't delay going full-time because of a slight beard. I watch a youtuber Brandy and initially when she came out she had a thick beard. I mean like bear gryllis beard. So don't delay cause of that. You got this girl, you can do it!!!!!!

Quote from: Maddie86 on November 16, 2017, 05:08:09 PM

I really wish laser would have worked for me. I did it once back in May and I feel like I just threw $300 in the garbage. I have reddish facial hair and it pretty much turned white after laser, so I don't think it will respond to it now. I found a cheaper place I could try but I don't think it's worth it. I would have almost been done by now if it would have worked 

can anyone offer me any input or advice? thank you!

You did not throw away $300. The laser got rid if the red hairs and the white remained. Estrogen and anti-androgen therapy will lessen the reappearance of facial and body hairs, but not totally get rid of them.

Electrolysis is in your future as it is with most of us. For a full face clearing, many of us report about 20 hours or so under the zap machine. You will need about 6 or 7 clearings to be completely rid yourself of facial hair. Since you are having problems with finding a local electrologist, consider one of the places that do a marathon session of 8 to 10 hours with two electrologists and they use injectable anesthesia.

At the start of electrolysis I looked pretty rough, I can't describe it any other way.  Three two-hour sessions per week.  I got through those first couple months by focusing on goals and how nice it would be to someday not get my 2pm shadow of stubble every day.  At two months my face didn't look quite so raw after a session, two sessions per week instead of three, then one per week, then every other week.  As time went on my face recovered faster and I was able to completely stop shaving.  A year after that I stopped wearing foundation - not needed. 

Was it all worth it?  Absolutely - yes.  If I had do, I'd do it all again without hesitation. 

Quote from: Kendra on November 17, 2017, 07:47:54 AM
At the start of electrolysis I looked pretty rough, I can't describe it any other way.  Three two-hour sessions per week.  I got through those first couple months by focusing on goals and how nice it would be to someday not get my 2pm shadow of stubble every day.  At two months my face didn't look quite so raw after a session, two sessions per week instead of three, then one per week, then every other week.  As time went on my face recovered faster and I was able to completely stop shaving.  A year after that I stopped wearing foundation - not needed. 

Was it all worth it?  Absolutely - yes.  If I had do, I'd do it all again without hesitation.

Isnt it ususlly recommended to do laser first to clear up most of the dark hairs? Im just curious why you chose electrolysis (im doing laser now)

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I am half Japanese but also half Welsh.  I had a thick red beard, laser wasn't worth it on my face - tried that a couple times and quickly switched to electrolysis. 

Laser worked great on body hair - especially legs, underarm and back. 

thanks for the responses everyone! The marathon sessions sound like a good option, but I need to find a place where I could do that, I'd be willing to travel a couple hours for it I think, but my problem is being able to afford it.

I talked to a couple friends last night and they said I should just pick the date and still come out anyways. one friend is a nurse and she said she has trans patients who come in with noticeable facial hair and they don't care. Maybe I can come out but then still present as male for work until I'm far enough with electrolysis where I can pass. I finally have a session with my therapist tomorrow so I'm going to mention this to her.