All, 

    I learned an important lesson tonight about what it is to be a woman.  Read on.

    Early this week I received an email from a co-worker saying that a ticket in my name was waiting for me at an HRC Gala event, black-tie optional.  OMG, I don't have a thing to wear!

   As it turned out I did/do have a dress I picked up in a thrift shop (see pictures below) right after I started to transition,  I put it on and took a picture and sent it to a friend.  Their response was "Nice, but you need to do something with your hair."
Hair (Up-do) $25+tip
Eyebrows: $25 + tip (I had them died to remove the gray while I was there)
TIghts + shoes: $75
Dress + sweater I had: $0
--------------------------------------
$125 and I have not even gotten to the event.
$125 in donations
Total $250 for the night.

This is what I learned - $125 just to step out the door - equal pay isn't enough.  How much does a guy spend?

The other thing that's even more important is how I feel tonight.  I felt like a million bucks.  Eyes were on me and not because I'm trans.  I looked pretty good (I thought).  When I got home I realized I didn't want the night to end.  I've spent all day preparing and I don't want it to end.  I feel so great and I'm on a natural high.

SO if you are married to a woman or have a great girlfriend - TAKE THEM OUT FOR A SPECIAL NIGHT.    I'll remember this whole day for a LONG time.  The inner personal feelings I can't explain.  Maybe elation, how about enjoyment.

On the transgender note - this type of event would have been HELL for me as a guy.  Tonight I didn't want it to end.  I felt comfortable and relaxed.  None of that Male-postering crap that I felt I always needed to maintain.  I was (and still am) in heaven tonight.





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You are right. We just take wife/girlfriend for granted, until we walk in their shoes as a woman.

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Well, you looked stunning!

aw you look great! I'm happy to hear you had a great time!

Very pretty Denise

Quote from: broage on November 19, 2017, 02:46:10 AM
Well, you looked stunning!

Broage - Thank you.

Quote from: Maddie86 on November 19, 2017, 06:39:53 AM
aw you look great! I'm happy to hear you had a great time!

Maddie - Thanks, you are so right about having a great time.  There's sooooo much less stress as Denise that it's not possible to not have a good time at an event like that.

Quote from: coldHeart on November 19, 2017, 07:40:12 AM
Very pretty Denise

Cold Heart - thank you.  That's kind of you to say (See you don't have a cold heart after all )

I was waiting to hear about your evening, so happy it was so overwhelmingly positive!  I absolutely understand how you felt, I've been there, and it's wonderful.  Part of really starting to see and feel who you are.  Toni

Hi Denise,

  I am glad to read you had such a great experience for the whole day. You looked very nice in that LBD with your hair done up nicely.

Laurie

You look beautiful!! I love those earrings [emoji7]

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Wow, you look beautiful. I am glad you had a wonderful time.

This is really a very important hint. One of the big issues we had during the early days was that my wife felt that I spend a lot more time (and naturally money) on looking pretty, and she never gets to dress up. This has been a really big issue and we are still trying to figure out how to deal with it, but we have started going for mani / pedi together or get our eye brows done (something she rarely did in the past, now we just go every 2 month and I take her out to lunch).

It is tough, for me to pass I have to spend 20 - 30 minutes on makeup. Just don't have much of a choice. But I do see her point.

Buying cloth is a bit harder but I do make sure she also get's to refresh her wardrobe while I completely replace mine. Funny enough: We do have a bunch of matching outfits in different sizes... Usually she sees something I bought and says " that looks pretty, I want that too" - so we do get the same thing for her... Recently she started paying a lot more attention to her outfits at work and she gets affirming compliments for it, so things start getting better.

Quote from: Denise on November 18, 2017, 11:39:30 PM

SO if you are married to a woman or have a great girlfriend - TAKE THEM OUT FOR A SPECIAL NIGHT.    I'll remember this whole day for a LONG time.  The inner personal feelings I can't explain.  Maybe elation, how about enjoyment.

Quote from: dist123 on November 19, 2017, 03:21:57 PM
You look beautiful!! I love those earrings [emoji7]

Thanks.  They are not a perfect match to the necklace but close enough.  I got them at JC Penney.  Less than $20 and knowing me probably close to $12.

Your hair looks amazing! 

Quote from: tarabel on November 20, 2017, 05:59:33 AM
Your hair looks amazing!

Thank you Tarabel.  Getting an up-do was a new experience.  One I'll not forget.  The transformation from lifeless to cute was amazing.  It also helped that the person who did it was an expert!

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You deserved to have eyes on you.  You really do look stunning.  Hair and outfit are beautiful.  The only thing missing is a shoe pic.

Quote from: JillianC on November 20, 2017, 09:15:01 AM
You deserved to have eyes on you.  You really do look stunning.  Hair and outfit are beautiful.  The only thing missing is a shoe pic.

Here are the shoes I was wearing.  And yes they are very comfortable. The heel is about 3 maybe 3.5 inches.

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Well done.  Those are gorgeous!

[quote author=Denise link=topic=230773.msg2051169#msg2051169 date=1511069970All, 
This is what I learned - $125 just to step out the door - equal pay isn't enough.  How much does a guy spend?
[/quote]

In 1966 (I remember when it was because of where I was) my class teacher (actually a very sweet man) casually told us that men need to be paid more than women because men have to pay for meals and gifts, etc. when courting women.  Obviously, his argument could not have made sense even in that day and age.

You looked great for your night out by the way.  Glad you enjoyed it.

Quote from: MaryT on November 20, 2017, 11:17:09 AM
[quote author=Denise link=topic=230773.msg2051169#msg2051169 date=1511069970All, 
This is what I learned - $125 just to step out the door - equal pay isn't enough.  How much does a guy spend?


In 1966 (I remember when it was because of where I was) my class teacher (actually a very sweet man) casually told us that men need to be paid more than women because men have to pay for meals and gifts, etc. when courting women.  Obviously, his argument could not have made sense even in that day and age.

You looked great for your night out by the way.  Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the compliment.

Then according to your 1966 teacher, gay men have it made!  Financially at least.

Quote from: Denise on November 20, 2017, 01:20:05 PM
Thanks for the compliment.

Then according to your 1966 teacher, gay men have it made!  Financially at least.

That seems to follow.  BTW they seem to have it made financially for other reasons too, as can be found by Googling
"Gay men earn £10k more than national average".