i was thinking about joining Beta Sigma Phi international just so i feel like i was a member of a sorority a strong womens group, thats open even after college.  what do you feel about organizations like this i know its trans inclusive.  i feel like it would make me feel more feminine idk why .  maybe its just a validation thing im young and i just want to have as many female experiencees as possible

Thank you Lil

Hi Lil,

I'm certainly not young at 59, but I am a pilot and intend to join three women's pilot organizations. I too am looking to finally have the feminine experiences I've been denied my entire life.  One is a huge international organization, and I haven't found anything on their site, pro or con, about trans inclusiveness. The same with a small regional club. On the other hand, why even disclose it? I'm a woman, why not join? The third group is openly inclusive, and to be honest, looks like the most fun anyway.  That'll probably be first.

So my advice is, sure, if you want to, and they're openly inclusive, there's no down side. Go for it!

Steph

Sororities specifically? Never liked them (or frats) for a ton of reasons. Sort of a philosophical issue with me I won't go into.

More generally though, like just random recreational clubs or something of that nature, I think it's a great idea to try to be apart of something with other women. I'm not sure what is out there for me that is something I'd be interested in, but I love the idea.

Quote from: Roll on November 18, 2017, 11:16:38 PM
Sororities specifically? Never liked them (or frats) for a ton of reasons. Sort of a philosophical issue with me I won't go into.

More generally though, like just random recreational clubs or something of that nature, I think it's a great idea to try to be apart of something with other women. I'm not sure what is out there for me that is something I'd be interested in, but I love the idea.

I wouldn't want to be in a sorority.  I just don't see the point really. And then there is the hazing involving who knows what kind of humiliation. Yeah, no thanks. As for women's clubs I can't really think of any I would want to join. My grandma is in a woman's group. They do the most totally boring stuff. Knitting, sewing, bingo, etc. Yawwwwn .

In the UK we have the WI (Womens Institute),  and I understand they are happy to accept transwomen as members. Our local group meets day-time in the week, so my job prevents me from getting involved currently. The WI is famous for baking (among other things), so I'd have plenty to talk about [emoji5]

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Experience: Was bid on by multiple sororities.

Every group is different. I really should add emphasis to that. Every single sorority or women's group has different people, so the interests, discussions, level of intellect, activities, and general tone can vary enormously beyond the point of resemblance. This is the case even with the drunk / party scene. You really just have to comprehend the people who are in the group well enough to have an idea whether or not you'd fit in with them at all.

They can be really close as a unit or segmented and cliquey. There may be so many activities it takes over your life or so few that they barely even have a presence. If you just want "to belong" as a gender validation, I mean, maybe 10 years ago that would've been kind of a big deal, and even now you might be able to get that, but there's no guarantee that'll really do anything for your personal life or live up to your expectations.

And yea, if anyone tries to haze you, that's the sort of thing gangs do, so get out.

Quote from: Steph2.0 on November 18, 2017, 10:41:11 PM
I'm certainly not young at 59, but I am a pilot and intend to join three women's pilot organizations.

For something purely social and  interest based I don't see any issues...

But for those of us who transitioned late and  are older, joining women's groups formed around professions and interests that women in our age group have been strongly discouraged from and discriminated against is, at least in my mind, another matter.

We developed those skills/succeeded in those professions while being seen as males by all around us, so the barriers were much lower for us than for other women... So I tend to worry about very understandable resentment from some women around my age if I was read or outed in such groups...

I don't feel the same way about other types of groups... In that case if some of the other members have an issue if they "know", I see it as primarily their issue, though one I have to deal with.

But if I had a large unfair advantage in the focus area BECAUSE I was seen as male, I could very much understand why they have an issue and could not just chalk it up to prejudice ...

While I don't pass well enough for stealth, I do pass to some people...

I remember talking to a woman I met at an event and how she thought I was 'special' for having dome week in a very male oriented profession... It made me feel a bit uncomfortable precisely because I did not have to overcome the the prejudice she assumed I faced...

So that is an area I tend to tread very carefully, particularly because I am readable and am not stealth. I do admit if I was stealth that would not be a long run concern as such resentments would not be there.

In general that type of thing is why I wish I could have been stealth.... I don't like the "asterisk effect".

- Karen

For years I shunned women clubs and sororities etc didn't think they were necessary, then I got married, it was strange getting use to my new life as a married woman, it was a big change.
Then I joined a women group for married women, it was a life saver for me, I absolutely love it, I've made great friendships with other women with similar lives, we do a lot of stuff, flower arranging, painting, women health, baking, learning new cooking recipes which I love doing, knitting and sewing, I love to crochet which I'm learning, we go away on shopping and girly days out, discuss and giggle about husbands and men, I love my women group
I learned a lot of basics that was necessary for a married woman.

I think they can be quite beneficial but it depends what it is. I have female friends who talked about being in sororities and hazing etc. and that all sounded a bit unpleasant.

Currently I live next door to a building that has been a local Women's Institute for many years where women meet up, organize events for creative stuff, charities, bake offs and things like that. As far as I can see, men aren't strictly excluded but it's 99% women and in that environment I think women who enjoy it feel comfortable and free to express themselves. The same with men when they go about doing their stuff in mostly male-oriented things. I'm not against mixing because I don't feel personally uncomfortable hanging around either sex people, one of my quirks - but many people do and having those spaces available is good for people. It's increasingly evident to me that men and women are quite different in some ways and have different needs. Rather than forcing everyone together as many organizations seem to want to do now I think there should be options for mixing and for grouping with one's gender if people want that. It is after all fact that women act a bit differently when men are around and vice versa, so there should be venues where people can get away from each other for a break if need be.

Quote from: pretty pauline on November 19, 2017, 01:28:27 PM
For years I shunned women clubs and sororities etc didn't think they were necessary, then I got married, it was strange getting use to my new life as a married woman, it was a big change.
Then I joined a women group for married women, it was a life saver for me, I absolutely love it, I've made great friendships with other women with similar lives, we do a lot of stuff, flower arranging, painting, women health, baking, learning new cooking recipes which I love doing, knitting and sewing, I love to crochet which I'm learning, we go away on shopping and girly days out, discuss and giggle about husbands and men, I love my women group
I learned a lot of basics that was necessary for a married woman.

Lucky you! My husband decided he does not want me in any women's groups, for the reason that he thinks all women ever do is gossip. I cannot get him to understand that he is WRONG.
I think it has more to do with the fact that he has no friends here, and is jealous of my ability to make friends with most women.

I would join a woman's group only if they did things that I am interested in doing.
Shopping at the mall and having lunch is not one of them.
I enjoy outdoors type activities, such a scuba diving, hiking and bicycle riding on long backwoods trails.

This is who I am.

I like the women's clubs as long as they are all inclusive. Which is the problem I notice. They only take certain group of people like the country club for women. You have to have a golf club membership and there are other examples. So if they accept trans women as well sure, I like them but, if they are so non-inclusive and say I am not a woman then......it's not a group for me.

Quote from: Lady Sarah on November 21, 2017, 09:53:07 PM
Lucky you! My husband decided he does not want me in any women's groups, for the reason that he thinks all women ever do is gossip. I cannot get him to understand that he is WRONG.
I think it has more to do with the fact that he has no friends here, and is jealous of my ability to make friends with most women.

Maybe you could discuss it with your husband Sarah and join a group, weekly or monthly wharever suits, maybe hubby needs some male friends.
In my situation it wasn't even my idea but a suggestion from my husband, 6 months after we got married I had problems in my job, then had to give up the job, suddenly I was ''stay at home wife'' it was a big change, sort of mid-life crisis. Hubby suggested maybe join a women's group, I was nevous and anxious at the idea but he just wanted me to be happy. He kept encouraging me and I eventually joined a group for married women, I found it to be a totally great feminine experience, very female orientated and has given me great confidence as a woman and hubby has gained too, when I got married I couldn't cook a sausage lol, I did serveral cookery courses now I do all the cooking.
I'm learning crochet patterns knitting and baking, I find that very beneficial, and yes we do gossip, but I prefer discussion lol
I now attend twice a week, I'm now just 1 of the girls, we do lots and lots of stuff, walking trips, some outdoor activities in summer, and somebody mentioned shopping at the mall and having lunch, yes we do that sometimes after all we are women, girly days and weekends away and the usual stuff on fashion, hair and makeup.
I basically learned some housewife skills and being happily married to a man, a woman's group or sorority is a great idea if you can find the right one for you and not too ''clicky''
Sororities for young crazy party girls is definitely not for me. A group that can inprove your life now as a woman is definitely worth looking into.

I spent five years in the ultimate woman's group. The PTA. Yes they are open to men but as far as I know I was the only one at my kids school. What I like about women's groups is that you do not have to sooth someones ego as generally they seek consensus. I loved the idea of supporting my kids. Yes there was cooking, crafts and the like, also supervising field trips. It was fun.

I belong to a lot of women's Meetup groups and have made some of my closest women friends through them...

Hugs!!!

A 😀

In my opinion, getting involved in some groups is essentially a good thing. On my second transition (see my posts) I found the lack of female socialisation this time around quite difficult. When I first transitioned some 30 years ago I had two cis gendered best female friends (one was my ex Secretary, another a next door neighbour). Through both of them they got me involved in girly things with their girl friends. On top off that I was in a Poly relationship with a couple where I spent a lot of time with the wife of the couple.  When I started my second transition, at first I found it very hard, but  whilst on overseas trips (and some inter-state trips) I caught up with "Susans" girls in Adelaide (thanks Cindy), in Sydney, Canberra and Brisbane. In the United Kingdom I have a number of TG women friends I also travel to the US and have met up with a number of fantastic "Susan' girls.

However I have missed the day to day female socialisation. So about 18 months ago I joined up with a Lesbian Meetup Womens group in the West Country in the United Kingdom  and in Australia I have been a member of three Lesbian womens Meetup groups getting involved in a lot of social activities like Trivia, dinners, playing cards, hiking, book club, movies etc. Through the four groups I have met a wide range of really interesting lesbian women. I am also good friends with my beauty therapist and we do social stuff together..

However it is interesting that a bit like Pauline, as the HRT has taken hold this time around, men are gradually becoming more interesting, whereas for a very long time I have only been attracted to other women. I think it must be that my T Level is now so low <1.0 and my Oestrogen level moderately high >600, so I wonder what the future will hold.
Interesting times.
Judith